Aibu to be really pissed off by my friend's comment to my son?

[Cathycomehome]

I have looked after my friend's two kids for the last academic year until just this week in the mornings and taken them to school with me so that she can get to work. This is unpaid, I don't know if that's relevant. The kids are in year 4 and year 6 and are both nice enough children; my son is in year seven.

The little girl is quite immature for her age , and will cry/ whine at fairly minor provocation, such as taking her glove off her on one occasion I can remember for example. My son and her brother are both guilty of this kind of thing,occasionally, it's not often just winding her up sometimes, and also of saying things like "don't be such a baby"when she reacts. I have always told the boys off, or whichever boy if it was just one of them, but she tells her mum that my son and just my son is constantly bullying her, constantly being nasty to her and on one occasion that he pushed her over six times (this was untrue, I was in the room at the time, he pushed past her on the way out and I told him off for being rude).

Anyway.....my friend has just popped round and said to my son, "you'd better stay away from X ( her husband) for your own safety, he's out to get you, I'm not joking". This is after my son said her daughter was acting like a baby on Monday, for which I told him off, also her brother said the same, but she has told her mum that just my son was saying cruel things to her all morning, and
He is a nasty bully.

I appreciate that there have been times when unkind things have been said, but Aibu to be seriously pissed off that she has basically threatened my eleven year old?

YANBU - I hope the before-school arrangement has changed for good, not just this week?!

If her husband is the nasty bully as you've described then of course her son is not going to admit to being involved. I'd be happy to point this out and then withdraw the childcare.

i would be on phone to police for him threatening your son tbh.

It might be worth informing the police that a threat had been made. Just so that it is documented. She and her husband sound a bit unhinged.

I would tell her in no uncertain terms that her children are lying, that her son is just as responsible as yours and that you know this because you were there and she wasn't. I would also tell her that if she or any member of her family threatens your 11 year old son again, you will report them to the police.

I would then sever any relationship with them.

So she actually repeated the threat?!

I would take it seriously tbh. What if the husband sees your son out and about?

What a shitty horrible thing to say. I wouldn't babysit for her again and would stay away from them entirely.

Are the children all at the same school? If so I would tell the school as well.

Sorry, but she repeats the threat to your son, basically calls you a liar, and you simply feel relief that she has alternate childcare for this week? Why aren't you absolutely livid?

Well, I was in the kitchen with her when son came in and she said it to him, and then she was leaving and I went o the door with her and said it was both boys and occasionally etc and she that's when she said about x being very protective and really angry etc. and the she left and I was just a bit dumbfounded really and felt a bit tearful

I tried to post this before but I was too slow so sorry if it appears twice or I have missed any replies.

Kids not at same school mine secondary and hers primary.

I would go and speak to her husband myself

Cathy, being around these kids is not good for your DS. Please terminate your skivvying unpaid childcare arrangement. Permanently.

Exactly what SoupDragon said.

Register it with the police that an adult man has threatened your 11yo son. Then sever all contact. Her son is obviously fibbing to get out of trouble and she is believing him over a responsible adult who was there (you).

No friend to you. Don't ever have her children again.

I am really shocked your friend didn't seem to think her husband's words were out of order. You can't have your kids mixing with a couple who think that's OK.

I think her husband deserves a message from your dh saying he "better watch out because your dh is out to get him" because he is very protective of his little boy.

Bullying twat.

Agreed megneto- I'd like him to get this message too "I have registered your threat to my eleven year old with the police and informed the school. Please keep away from us or I will press harassment charges"

I'd send them an invoice for all the unpaid childcare you have done over the past year. Ungrateful gits.

I take it she isn't expecting you to do any childcare next week or again? Agree with what everyone else has said. Words fail me.

She didn't seem to think I should be upset in any way, said "see you soon then!" cheerily as she left ( I said I would help her with a job application this weekend before this happened) but I was left quite shocked as I said.

My son was then going to go down to the shop and said "but what if I see x?" so I played it down and said of course he wouldn't do anything and I said if he did say anything I would speak to him. I'm not looking after the kids anymore, had already said I would stop after half term as the baby will be nearly due then and it's getting a bit much. Will speak to my partner when he comes in, sometimes he goes for a drink with him on a Thursday so I don't know what to think if that was the plan tonight.

Ring her up and let her know that her and her husband had better "watch out" as you will be contacting the police if she continues to threaten your son.

Honestly, Let her know you won't put up with this.

Wow. You're learning that "no good deed goes unpunished" aren't you?

I would just call up that friend and let her know what she said about her husband being "out to get my son" has upset not only my son, but me too and I would have to seek advice from the police concerning a threat like that made to my son.

That's not friend!

Actually just ring the police and ask them to have a word with her about her actions. Let them know your son is feeling intimidated and is frightened to go places in case he runs into this man.

Fat fingers!

I'd tell the police and tell your friend I'd done so.

And then I would never speak to them again.

I think it's important for your son to see that you treat threatening behaviour as unacceptable.

I don't think you need to call the police, realistically what are they going to do? However, I do think that they need to know that this behaviour is unacceptable, threatening a small boy in that way with the result that he is now frightened to go out is appalling. If your OH is seeing the man, he should make this point or if not when you see this woman again you need to say that it is both children, you are the adult and you saw it. I would also point out that you do tell both boys off when the behaviour warrants it and their son lied (how could they not consider this?)