To not be interested in what my mum (67) has been up to all week ?

[Willowisp]

My mum runs some sort of activity week, where (IMO) she queen bees around, eats lots of cake (already fat) & refers to it as a 'holiday'. She has a great time, but I'm not interested. (miserable boot face emoticon)

She's just rung me, given me a breakdown of how they all enjoyed it/gave money/did a whip round/bought thank you presents. Great.

Then she's told me she's babysitting (for free) for her (crafty neighbour who asks her 2-3 x a week) & is cross because I've shown no interest.

When her mum was alive, she lapped up everything & rewarded her with lines of "oh aren't you good/great/super" "how wonderful" etc.

Then she proceeded to tell me what she's doing in the garden....in minute detail..

I'm in my 40's, I've got my own family - kids, pets, washing & ironing & quite frankly a "I'm back from x & had a great time" is all I need. I don't bore her with the minutia of my day(s). Nor have the self importance to embellish & boast about something she's been doing for about 8 yrs.

Yes, I am an old bag & most likely, incredibly UR, but I just had to get it off my chest before I ate all the chocolate in the house.

YABU and quite horrible really.

My mums 79 and as she gets older I find I make more effort to talk to and listen to her. I can't even begin to imagine how I will feel when she's gone.

Cherish your mum, you wont have her for ever.

Can understand it can be annoying at times but please try and be patient. I was the same a lot of the time with my own mother and now she's gone I regret it so much.

I can totally see how you feel, but dementia has stripped my mum of the ability to talk much - she used to keep me for hours on the phone, wittering on, and now she manages 3 mins tops, most of which is her standard phrase. MN while she talks, but let her tell you about whats important to her

Dear God I hope my daughter never speaks about me in the way you just have. Your Poor Mum ....to hae such a miserable crow as a daughter. I owuld love to hear my Mum wax lyrical about all she had been up to.

I'm fed up with the whimsical la la land where she lives. And I hate the bloke ripping her off & her thinking it's ok.

I think I need wine.

YABU. Your Mums sounds lonely. She might be busy but she sounds like she goes home to an empty house. Be kind, you know what it's like to be a Mum. She did the same for you.

You're starting to drip feed.

YANBU to find it a bit boring hearing the minutest details of your mum's life.
But YABU to resent it and be such a miserable old bag about it.

Of course I'm not massively excited that my mum has been to the co-op and bought more cheese for dad's packed lunch. But she likes telling me, and I view it as a bit of a service I offer since her previous listener died (of old age - not boredom!). Plus she's interested in my doings which are obviously wildly fascinating so I have to give her a bit of a chance to get a word in edgeways.

I usually manage hmm, hmm, yes, lovely.

Tonight I failed. I think I have pre PMT.

Will take iPhone with next time & play solitaire.

Just so you know what im dealing with, her & granny made me look at the receipt from Asda once, do I could see the savings they made.

I no longer have my Mum. We certainly had our ups and downs and quite a difficult relationship at times. But she never bored me.

My mum is 67. She has Alzheimers and hasn't spoken for over a year, and lives in a dementia ward of a hospital. Would give alot for her to phone me and witter on about her day. Just saying.

I feel sad reading this. I cant ever imagine being so horrible about my mum.

It's because I'm cooking, drinking wine & actually feel like I'm on the phone to the samaritans !

I recognise my bad behaviour though & will take steps to improve.

I discussed with my work colleague how much I'd saved with the ASDA price guarantee. I'm obviously so fucking boring. I suggest no one talks to me from now on.

Your Mum is the same age as mine. Like my Mum now she's retired she is still active and does a lot of charity work. Like you I'm in my 40s and have children and a home to run. Unlike you I'm proud of my Mum for her willingness to help others for nothing more than the benefit it gives others and am grateful that she's healthy enough to be able to do it.

My mum's ill and is finding it harder and harder to talk on the phone - this is just going to get worse to the point where she can't...she can witter on at me for as long she wants, i will miss it when she can't. I'm just saying too.

How can your mother have loved you too much? I don't understand.

Well, at least your mother talks to you and is out and about, happy and active. Plenty of people with parents of your mother's age would probably prefer that to their own situations, taking care of an ill, disabled or depressed / lonely parent.

My mother is always miserable when I talk to her and talks about not being long for this world but how she'll just have to keep going another while anyway, bitterly complaining about anything you care to mention. She's 73.

So be glad your mother is healthy, independent and active while it lasts.

My mum goes on in a similar way, and I know I'm the main one who listens. I know how much she loves our frequent chats and wouldn't dream of cutting her short even when I'm tired/busy. It cuts both ways -she is genuinely very interested in all details of my day. Maybe try to have these conversations at a time that suits you if you are feeling impatient at the time.

YABU.

I decided your attitude was pretty horrible by the time I'd read the first paragraph. I hope you aren't expecting your children to treat you kindly in when you're that age.

'YANBU to find it a bit boring hearing the minutest details of your mum's life.'
I agree.

'But YABU to resent it and be such a miserable old bag about it.'
Eh... a little bit.

I feel the same with my mum and DH feels the same with his, but we do the 'hmm, yes, lovely' thing because we know they're just a bit lonely and want to chat.

Doesn't mean we always enjoy it though...

Did they talk about the order items went on the conveyor belt & make you look at the receipt ? If yes, I'm not surprised

Well a problem shared is a problem halved...I will be kinder next time - she caught me on a bad day.

Sorry if I've upset anyone who's lost their mum..

Willow, mine rings up and witters on about the things that are important to her. And I feel like you do. And I know that in please god a good few more years yet I will be crying my eyes out because she'll never ring again, so I do my best to be interested. MN is a place where I can say 'she drives me demented' without feeling guilty.
Have another glass of wine babes, I'm on Pinot Grigio tonight as it's meant to be summer

Yabu

I miss every day the same type of calls from my grandma, she died when she was 65, spose that was best before giving her my time annoyed me.

I love my mum but she has become self obsessed in her old age. It's a one way conversation about her health, friends of hers I have never met (in-depth debrief of their lives) and what she has had for dinner. Rarely does she ask about us. Bless.