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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit sad for dd

290 replies

shopping81 · 16/05/2012 15:24

So there is a important football match coming up. DH is a big fan and is going. Unfortunately it is on dd's 5th birthday. She does not want to go. So now mil, fil dh and ds are all going to the football.
AIBU to be sad that everyone is going to the football on dd's birthday or am a being plb.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 16/05/2012 15:28

There will be many football matches and they will always be 'important'. Hmm But your dd will only turn 5 once.

Take her out and have a fab day doing whatever she likes. Sod the rest of them.

Groovee · 16/05/2012 15:28

I'd murder my dh if he did that. I'd be sad but for dd's sake take her somewhere special x

Sirzy · 16/05/2012 15:29

Just arrange something special for the day after and go somewhere the two of you on the birthday

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 16/05/2012 15:31

The match won't be all day unless they are travelling a long way. have a family breakfast with pressies then you take her somewhere nice and all get together for tea party in the evening.

OhChristFENTON · 16/05/2012 15:32

Does it really have to be one or the other - can't everyone do both? How far away is the football on?

suzikettles · 16/05/2012 15:32

Tbh, I would do something great that would be too expensive for everyone to troop along to while they were at the football and then have a birthday tea when they got home.

auntmargaret · 16/05/2012 15:35

I'd big it up for her that now she's 5, she and mummy can do grown up, girly stuff. And I'd go and get your nails done, shop and go somewhere she likes for lunch. I'd make her think it was special mummy-daughter time. And I'd remind my DH that kids come before football (and I speak as a huge football fan) But if you play it right, she won't notice.

Gumby · 16/05/2012 15:37

Football match is only 90 minutes
Take her for ice cream whilst it's on and then all go out for dinner afterwards
Is she having a party with friends at all?

cantspel · 16/05/2012 15:41

If he has tickets for the play offs then he should stay home for the birthday party and send the tickets to me.

Ithinkitsjustme · 16/05/2012 15:41

I'd do something really special for her birthday, just mummy and DD, (not convinced by having nails done, but if that's her thing then go for it). What about a trip to the zoo/ cinema with popcorn and pick'n'mix, the beach, day out with a close friend. Then meet up with the rest of the family for tea. I'm sure that she will pick up your vibes and if feel she's being hard done by the so will she, if you make out that this is to her advantage then that's how she will see it as well.

Original poster
shopping81 · 16/05/2012 15:41

Party with friends on Monday. Can still do breakfast and possible late tea. Although imagine dh and ds will be away for probably 6 or 7 hours with travelling time.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/05/2012 15:42

Just have a lovely girlie day with her and make it feel special for her........will be nice surely to have some time on your own with her.

takingiteasy · 16/05/2012 15:44

Is her birthday on Saturday? The Scottish Cup final day? If it's any other match, YANBU, if he's a Hibs/Hearts fan and it's this match you're talking about you're still NBU but I'd cut some slack under the circumstances.

Have an ace girly day with DD, surely she'll see her dad and bro at some point in the day? Then make a day where you can all do something together.

PoohBearsHole · 16/05/2012 15:46

Take the opportunity to do something that you both would love to do that is the same monetry value + and have a wonderful time, do breakfast and late tea or supper out if she can last that long. Its rubbish isn't it but perhaps a girly day is just what you both would love to do.

QuickLookBusy · 16/05/2012 15:47

Sorry but I would be livid.

A child only has one birthday each year. And when they are this age, Birthdays are so special.

squoosh · 16/05/2012 15:48

TBH if it's the Hibs and Hearts match then YABU. This is historical stuff for the city. Is it not he first Edinburgh Derby since 1890 or something. I don't even like football and I can still see it's v important if you're a fan of one of those teams.

Can you not do the birthday stuff once the match is over?

IAmNotACowbag · 16/05/2012 15:49

It's only a football match FGS, they should be there for the child who will have this birthday ONLY ONCE.

takingiteasy · 16/05/2012 15:50

Squoosh, I agree and I'm not a major footie fan, although a Hibee at heart! DS has a birthday party 2 till 4 on sat. Am not impressed someone was so thoughtless as to arrange a party on such a day!

RabidAnchovy · 16/05/2012 15:51

First DH announced that cub camp (he is a cub leader) is taking place on the same weekend as DS2 confirmation, I announced he will be coming home a day early as the confirmation of his child is far more important then a camp full of other peoples.

I understand how you feel but I think you can still have a lovely day with your DD, and maybe fit in an early breakfast/ late tea

IAmNotACowbag · 16/05/2012 15:52

I really do not get football, at all! DH and DB are obsessed with it.

squoosh · 16/05/2012 15:55

Why not have a big fancy birthday breakfast with hats, party poppers and cake etc.

You and she do your own stuff and then reconvene for more family celebrations?

I'd love to start the day with cake!

JosephineCD · 16/05/2012 15:57

Which match is it?

somewherewest · 16/05/2012 16:04

Sorry, but your 'D'H is being a prize arsehole. Am totally Shock at someone fecking off to a footie match on their five year old daughter's birthday.

takingiteasy · 16/05/2012 16:09

Do people expect their partners to take the day off work on DC's birthdays?

MissFaversham · 16/05/2012 16:10

YANBU I'd be sad and a bit livid too to be honest. I also don't get this "Football Mania" thing. It's your little girl's birthday for Pete's sake!

I'd also do what others have said to mitigate selfish DH's actions and take your daughter out for a lovely pamper day.