to think DP is being an arse?

[revolutionconfirmed]

We both quit smoking yesterday due to financial concerns and health concerns as we have two young children. He quit cold turkey and is doing fine. I was on 40+ rollies a day and am finding it difficult so I'm using Nicorette patches and the inhaler.

DP tells me he doesn't support me and that I'm weak. He says how can we afford to buy inhaler cartridges and patches if we can't afford to smoke. I say it's less than half what we usually spend on tobacco and if it helps me stay off them it's worth it. He's now in a great big mood telling me I'm weak and stupid and he won't support me because I may as well go out and buy tobacco for the amount I'll spend on replacements and that in his mind I'm still smoking.

DP has no job. I support him and I've bought all the tobacco knowing that we couldn't afford it for two years. Now it's come to a head and I've decided we have to stop for various reasons and he's yelling about it. He wants to quit too and says he has no side effects because he's not weak but is blastering on about money when if I bought tobacco knowing we couldn't afford it he'd happily smoke that and tell me to give up coffee or something else.

I'm feeling so unsupported. He said he won't congratulate someone so weak on two days 'clean' or three days. I think twenty one hours without a cigarette is a damn good feat for someone who hasn't gone more than a waking hour without one in seven years, patch or no patch.

AIBU to tell him to support me or fuck off?

No side effects? Whatever....

Well done for quitting. Any way you are going to stay off the cigarettes is a good way, doesn't matter if you are using replacements or going cold turkey it's the quitting that counts.

And yes he's being an arse.

And congrats BTW :)

The golden rule for couples giving up is never do it at the same time!

Having said that, he's being an arse.

Buy yourself an E.Cigarette...they're bloody brilliant and work out much cheaper than all the other things as a rule.

So you need to think about why you support someone who doesn't support you, don't you?

Going to the FP on Tuesday. Hopefully they can help. Inthe past they've just given me literature with a freephone helpline number. I have some lozenges and micro tabs from.a prwvious attempt at quitting which failed after a few hours.

He had a job but they let him go due to being overstaffed. He's in college one full day a week refusing to give it up and he can't find a job around it, not through lack of trying. I say sod college but it's his final year starting September and he won't give it up. I've had this discussion too many times to count with him but it's a no go and it ends with him blaming me. Plus, it's the last year of this course ever before they change it slightly to something else so he can't defer the year without redoing the past two years when he goes back.

I'd say he is having some side effects of quitting as obviously he is ratty and unreasonable. Sounds to me like he is goading you into giving up, giving up just so he can justify having a fag himself.

hotsauce exactly - of course he's having side effects- the irritability is a well-known side effect.

Fuck that. I'm almost at 24 hours. If I can get through 24 hours I can do more!

When I quit smoking I was able to get some of the stuff on prescription from my GP, might be worth thinking about doing the same for you OP and save you a bit of money as the nicotine replacement stuff can be expensive although I'm sure I used to get the gum from poundland once the prescription stuff ran out. Your DP is being an arse, although it's likely that this unreasonableness is one of the side effects he thinks he's not having.

You can do it. I gave up 9 months ago and I'm hoping I'm not ever stupid enough to start again. Never give up, giving up and you will get there in the end.

You can do it. So can he.

Good on you for quitting OP. My friend did the same, she used patches too and was able to get a prescription from the docs for them. Sometimes they'll give you a prescription but only the once.

In my couple of (failed) attempts to stop smoking, I used patches which I got under prescription. Try your Dr., op.
Oh and the NRT worked for me, I stopped for 18 months, until I foolishly started again, never think you can just have one.
It's your DPs choice how he is going to stop, and it's up to him. Just don't buy him any tobacco, and you carry on, you're doing well.

Tell him you couldn't agree more about how expensive they are, but that you can afford to buy the patches and inhalator cartridges, if you stop buying his food, so that's what you've decided to do. Smile sweetly when you say it.

Obviously you're in the right.

And I'm massively sceptical about him 'doing so well when he's clearly being unreasonable and short tempered - both signs of nicotine withdrawal.

If I were you I'd take yourself off somewhere else for the next 72 hours.

And if wank stain continues to mooch off you for the next foreseeable maybe rethink your relationship when you've got over your nicotine withdrawal.

My dh got loads of free quit smoking stuff (gum/inhalers etc) from a boots stop smoking clinic.

Is your DH usually unsupportive and does he yell at you frequently?

If not, maybe he's not doing so well going cold turkey after all. Sounds like you're paying the price for what is being saving on DH not using patches.

Damn! saving = saved

I think he's the one who's struggling and is trying to get you to cave, then he can follow suit and it's all your fault.

Well done you he's an arse

I'm with Skiving

And even IF you would spend as much on inhalers as on tobacco, you would do yourself, your health and your children so much good!

Ditto everyone else - it sounds like nicotine withdrawal is having the side-effect of making him arsey and unreasonable. You're doing really well - and more likely to successfully stop if you use nicotine replacement. Well done!