to think DP is being an arse?

[revolutionconfirmed]

We both quit smoking yesterday due to financial concerns and health concerns as we have two young children. He quit cold turkey and is doing fine. I was on 40+ rollies a day and am finding it difficult so I'm using Nicorette patches and the inhaler.

DP tells me he doesn't support me and that I'm weak. He says how can we afford to buy inhaler cartridges and patches if we can't afford to smoke. I say it's less than half what we usually spend on tobacco and if it helps me stay off them it's worth it. He's now in a great big mood telling me I'm weak and stupid and he won't support me because I may as well go out and buy tobacco for the amount I'll spend on replacements and that in his mind I'm still smoking.

DP has no job. I support him and I've bought all the tobacco knowing that we couldn't afford it for two years. Now it's come to a head and I've decided we have to stop for various reasons and he's yelling about it. He wants to quit too and says he has no side effects because he's not weak but is blastering on about money when if I bought tobacco knowing we couldn't afford it he'd happily smoke that and tell me to give up coffee or something else.

I'm feeling so unsupported. He said he won't congratulate someone so weak on two days 'clean' or three days. I think twenty one hours without a cigarette is a damn good feat for someone who hasn't gone more than a waking hour without one in seven years, patch or no patch.

AIBU to tell him to support me or fuck off?

keep going... the patches etc are just a temporrary expenditure to get you to your goal. he is probably being grumpy due to the lack of nicotine.

Mm. Biscuits. I'll be smoke free but huge.

He's not said much all night. Engrossed in his book while I've been watching TV. We're in the same room which is a start.

I think the craving thing is pretty normal. Cigarettes are more than just nicotine, they are an activity IYSWIM, and an activity you are used to participating in, as you said, every waking hour. Something your mouth and hands are involved in. If you rolled your own, even more activity. The inhaler/lozenges are easing you off the nicotine habit, but easing off the activity habit will take practice.

I found the craving only lasted a couple of minutes, it was always very fleeting.
Don't use the inhaler till you feel that craving coming on.

I gave up a few years ago. I used various things at various times. The thing to remember is that however you quit, you have quit. Doesn't matter if you use inhalers or patches or hypnotism as long as the evil sticks stay away.

My best trick was to have two jars. One was full of butts and water and one was full of the cash I saved. Feel a craving, look at the money jar, still craving, stick your nose in the butts and water jar and have a good sniff. After you have cleared up the vomit, you will no longer want a fag.

The cravings only last for a few minutes but it seems as if they come one after the bloody other. I'm taking a few puffs on the inhaler and sucking a lozenge every hour to curb the cravings but it just seems like it isn't enough.

I'm not going back now. I tried to quit a few months ago which is why I have the stuff here but I lasted half a day and had one or two cigarettes and then completely gave up after three days. I'm not giving up on this one. It must stick because there is simply no other option. It either sticks or I go broke and can't pay any of my bills let alone think about driving lessons or anything that may actually help me in the future.

DP is still not happy. I'm sleeping downstairs tonight. It'll probably do me good as I'm not very tired and being online will keep me busy.

The replacement deals with the physical craving - which is very strong - but not the mental craving. When you stop you realise you've been using them to punctuate your life. It takes time to break the habit and set up new ones.

Doing things differently for a while can help. If you usually have cereal, coffee and then a C, try porridge and tea in a different room and then go straight for a shower/walk.

I will, thank you. I usually wake up and go straight for one so I'm going to actually eat breakfast and shower in the mornings to help.

I think I'm doing quite well considering. A few puffs of the inhalor or a lozenge and I'm okay for at least an hour. I'd rather just wean off the nicotine and be clean of tar and other toxins.

It can work. And please try your GP for support if you need it. There may be helpful stuff on the NHS website too. They might not pay for your patches etc but they may well offer other services.

I'm going to the GO first thing Wednesday morning as I don't want to drag both DD's out at 9am for a potential long wait. If I make an appointment I'll be waiting at least two weeks so the emergency clinic is all I have.

smokefree.nhs.uk/ There should be info about accessing support in your local area on this site.

Bloody well done OP. You sound strong. Your DP sounds like a twunt and yes, I agree with others that he wants you to fail so he can blame it all on you.

I gave up cold turkey. 6 months later my dh gave up using a prescribed drug that takes away the cravings. He had to argue with the gp to get it but it really worked. We are both equally proud of each other for our success. (It definitely helped not doing it at the same time though.) That was 4 years ago btw.

your gp can precribe nicotine replacements cheaper for you.

yanbu

Wow!! well done RC you're doing fab to get this far- keep going, soon will be 48hrs then 72 and before you know it a week will have passed. Hopefully then you will have some new distraction routines firmly in place and making it easier.
Sod putting a little weight on- you can always work on that later when you have healthier lungs and more money to go to the gym :)
When my friend stopped she got some spray stuff, I don't know what it's called sorry, but when her craving got really really bad and she felt she would reach for a cig, she sprayed it to the back of her throat and lit and cig....it makes it taste and smell vile and makes you want to vomit...it really helped her even though she only used it in desperation.

People who quit using NRT have a far higher success rate than those who quit without.

It's not a weakness to use NRT. You are keeping your brain happy by giving it what it's addicted to without the harm of all the 2500 other chemicals in a cigarette.

Your GP doesn't have to offer you NRT if they haven't signed up to the service within the PCT. However many pharmacies have, and can offer NRT as well as local quit smoking services.

You're doing brilliantly! And it will get easier - I promise!

It's 42 hours in and I feel good :D I have a mucusy cough though. Is this normal? Like bringing up all the crap?

You are four times more likely to quit with NRT than cold turkey. Your nicotine receptors in your brain are being satisfied and your inhaler is helping with the hand to mouth habit. After a while the idea is to reduce the amount of NRT to get you off that totally.

Please do not buy an Ecigarette. These have huge amounts of nicotine in them (even if they say they haven't evidence has shown they have) which will not help our break the habit completely as you will remain addicted to nicotine. They are mostly imported from China and are unregulated. They also contain anti freeze. They have not been around long enough for long term effects to be assessed.

Also, get one of these - they are really good and have some great stuff I. Them. And are free!
smokefree.nhs.uk/quit-tools/quit-kit/

The cough is your lungs expelling all the gunk from years of smoking. People sometimes feel very ill for a bit after giving up but this passes.

42 hours well done you!!

You really are doing well OP.
How's your dp managing?

DP is still being a twat irritable but hasn't had a smoke either so is doing really well. I am very very emotional though! Don't know why!

I can't get that quit kit as I'm in Wales rather than England.

RC- if you're like me then you have used nicotine as a crutch to your emotions (stressed out=have a cig, upset=have a cig, angry=have a cig) for such a long time then it's probably completely normal what you're feeling at the minute. It should get easier the further away you move from that nicotine devil. xx

Ah ok, well in that case you should get a prescription for NRT as you won't have to pay for it then.

I have used nicotine as a crutch. Anger, being in any way emotional actually, boredom...you name it, I'd find a reason to smoke. It was rare to go more than 45 minutes without a cigarette and I'd often chain smoke. Being without them is one of the most difficult things I've done.

I'm definitely going to the GP Wednesday morning. I am determined to quit but I need a little help in the form of NRT.