to give our nanny fish fingers whilst DH and I eat Waitrose Organic Salmon?

[MarieFromStMoritz]

I am laughing at myself posting this, not sure why...

Anyway, I recently decided that we were going to get healthy. DH is overweight and has high blood pressure and I am overweight, pregnant and at risk of pre-eclampsia. So I have been trying to stick with protein and a salad for dinner and healthy food throughout the day.

I was at Waitrose this morning, and I saw these salmon fillets. I thought they would go well with a nice salad and some boiled potatoes. However, they were really, really expensive. We live overseas and Waitrose is even more expensive than it is in the UK. So I bought fish fingers for DS and just could not bring myself to buy another salmon fillet for my nanny, so thought she could have fish fingers like DS (she has no health issues and is young and slim).

The thing is, by the time I got home, I felt very guilty. She is an adult after all, and I felt that we were treating her like a child giving her fish fingers. Also it suggests that she is not really good enough for the salmon fillet.

I am aware that I am probably overthinking this, but I am just wondering what everyone else would do. Money is tight. Right now, I am probably going to give her the salmon fillet and I'll have the fingers, but I don't know. Would it BU to give her the fish fingers?

To be honest lashingsofbingeinghere, I don't think she would give a flying fuck what she gets for dinner. I just feel guilty, which is why she is getting the salmon. And I won't buy it again.

Anyway, the sun has just gone down and I'm off to cook dinner

Marie, salad is full of fibre too!

Well forget feasible, it's just bad advice isn't it.

Can you access a nutritionist where you're living? I think you really need one, given both your health issues.

Think you making excuses OP that it is not feasible. You do not have to eat salmon to lose weight

PostBellumBugsy, it's rice, pasta, bread. That's what I meant by 'fibre'. I had a ciabatta a few weeks ago, and ended up in casualty with a hugely inflated stomach. That's when it started. I have no idea why, I have never had a food allergy before.

Anyway, I'm off now.

OP, after Salmongate calms down, hope you and DH find some dietary peace and quiet.

How old is ds?
When does the nanny usually eat?

If he is young and he eats earlier, could you suggest to the nanny if this isn't happening that THEY eat together and then you will give her a budget for evening snacks for the week?

This way you don't have to feel guilty at all, but you can make a meal plan up for ds and the nanny together so that the nanny can choose what she likes too and that it is varied enough for ds.

You could try this for a month and then everyone would be happy, she is eating food she likes, ds is perhaps trying new things, they aren't both just eating rice and you and your dh can kick start your diet?

I think you are being very defeatest, pull yourself together woman, you had a bad experience with a second thread. It ain't nice but it doesn't mean you have to become so pessimistic!

So go have a think about suggesting changes with your nanny.
Then head over to the diet boards and put all the facts out, what YOU can and can't eat, and give a vague idea of what is really expensive in the country you are in and there will be people who will help you do some menu planning. Or just head over there and see what suggestions come up for all of you.

Marie, that sounds nasty. You have to give your health top priority.

OP on a lighter note, I have been known to give my staff fishfingers/battered chicken whilst I eat something far more tasty and expensive.

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I do quite often view dh as staff

From a nannies point of view, I honestly wouldn't mind this for the reasons you gave tbh.
Me and my boss have a long history of doing this, going on fad diets, buying particular meals for ourselves etc, etc.

If it helps, I like salmon, I like fish fingers but I also quite enjoy not having to pay for my own dinner so s'all good with me really

Does she even like salmon or fish fingers? You say she will just eat rice by choice, why not take her shopping with you and let her choose a few things that she likes which you probably don't eat. I assume she's Asian.

I usually leave it to my cook to decide who eats what.

I'm going to sound selfish, but I think give it to you and DH as planned - DH has blood pressure, so you're looking after that, and you are pregnant and you're looking after yourself. You can't please everyone.

Just don't burn it now, after all this agonising it would be ironic if no one could eat it.

Marie I'm not going to get involved with the whole nanny issue, but I do think your doctor has given you crap advice about what foods to eat.

Try just cutting out bread and pasta, but keep eating other carbs, because it could be that you have developed an intolerance to wheat. If that doesn't work then you can look at excluding other things.

But going low carb like that will make your body produce ketones, which isn't good while you are pregnant.

I struggle to believe that a person can afford a nanny but not salmon. Although - I guess that depends how much the nanny costs?

Mind you NL - round us if you have 2 children in childcare for a day its the same price as a Nanny, if you live in London a Nanny is cheaper - although I appreciate that childminders are usually slightly less (if you can find one with a space in London )

If I lived somewhere where it was "normal" to have staff iyswim (and in some countries it is) and could employ someone lovely to look after my children at more than the going rate I would do, as it is my childcare for 2 for a day with my "nanny" leaves me with only a little more post tax and I mean a coffee and a supermarket sandwhich more but so would 2 in nursery for the day as work don't offer ccv.

Op lives overseas. You don't have to be rich to have a maid, pay can be from around 200 quid a month for 6/7 days a week. Even locals living in council flats and with low ages often have them

I am sure you are all dying to know what our nanny had for dinner

Obviously I ended up giving her the salmon. I kind of knew all along that I would. I would have felt too guilty eating it myself and giving her something different. I have spent most of the night worrying about the issue of how to meet everyone's dietary needs without upsetting anyone and staying within my budget. As I have posted on other threads, I am having major complications in my pregnancy which mean that I cannot work, so money really is tight. Fresh meat and fish is also very expensive here. So, I have come up with the following:

Nanny & DS: they will eat what we used to eat (risotto, lentil gratin, chilli, etc.). We'll make enough for four and it can last them 2 days.

DH: fish/meat & salad/stir fried veggies.

Me: I will eat what DH eats but without the meat/fish. So, salad or stir fried veggies.

I think this is a good compromise. At the end of the day, I would rather go hungry than upset someone.

The nanny should have eaten when she was cooking the children's supper. You are having the classic problem of someone who is having a servant and treating then as family. I surmise that you or your husband did not grow up with a nanny and are finding the situation awkward. I wouldn't have the nanny at the same table as me as it will lead to excessive familiarity.

Waitrose salmon but you're not in the UK. How fresh do you think that salmon actually is once it's been transported to packing back to a main depot transported to whatever country you are in yadda yadda . Surely local fishmonger would be better quality.

Marie - you are pregnant & you are going to live on salad & veggies? You and your baby need a balanced diet that includes protein and fats. Even if you would rather go hungry, your baby needs proper nutrition. Please seek some nutritional advice from a professional.

There are loads of great websites for meal planning on a budget, this is just one of them www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk.

Quite right Novack

The world has gone to hell in a handbasket re servants.

Yes, the servants should have their own quarters. Imagine having the nanny, who cares for your child, actually sitting at the table with you all! How preposterous!

Novak, that has to be a joke? Would you make her lower her gaze when she speaks to you, and walk three paces behind you in the street, too?