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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give our nanny fish fingers whilst DH and I eat Waitrose Organic Salmon?

185 replies

MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 12:16

I am laughing at myself posting this, not sure why...

Anyway, I recently decided that we were going to get healthy. DH is overweight and has high blood pressure and I am overweight, pregnant and at risk of pre-eclampsia. So I have been trying to stick with protein and a salad for dinner and healthy food throughout the day.

I was at Waitrose this morning, and I saw these salmon fillets. I thought they would go well with a nice salad and some boiled potatoes. However, they were really, really expensive. We live overseas and Waitrose is even more expensive than it is in the UK. So I bought fish fingers for DS and just could not bring myself to buy another salmon fillet for my nanny, so thought she could have fish fingers like DS (she has no health issues and is young and slim).

The thing is, by the time I got home, I felt very guilty. She is an adult after all, and I felt that we were treating her like a child giving her fish fingers. Also it suggests that she is not really good enough for the salmon fillet.

I am aware that I am probably overthinking this, but I am just wondering what everyone else would do. Money is tight. Right now, I am probably going to give her the salmon fillet and I'll have the fingers, but I don't know. Would it BU to give her the fish fingers?

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 01/05/2012 14:42

Sorry, posted a reply in the wrong thread. It's very confusing! However that thread is to be deleted so here is my tuppence worth re-posted:

Well I hope it wasn't farmed salmon as that's full of PCBs and other nasty chemicals. Mind you, with it being Waitrose it was probably organic salmon caught by Cherokee Indians who are given a fair wage.

If you want to be healthy may I suggest sardines? They have far more omega 3 as they are oily fish and therefore much much better for you than salmon.

Or indeed any other fish that is cheaper is just as good as salmon.

Giving your nanny fish fingers whilst you eat salmon is hugely offensive. Fish fingers is a cheap, crappy thing that you give to kids. Grown adults don't usually eat fish fingers. You could have got her a cod if you were that bothered, but fish fingers?

This isn't so much about the fact that you found the salmon too expensive to justify buying more for your nanny. That is understandable. What is not understandable is expecting your nanny to sit eating fish fingers with your ds whilst you tuck into salmon. The very fact you had to ask the question shows just how out of touch you are with the real world.

The kind thing would have been to have bought some nice breaded cod for the nanny and say that you weren't sure if she liked salmon but that if she did, you would get it next time. Or as others have said, to have bought a cheaper version that you could afford for everyone.

The fact that you were fully prepared to treat your nanny like a child is what has got everyone's back up. You can't see this. That says a lot about you.

Hullygully · 01/05/2012 14:44

That ^ is Rhubs on scary form.

She's right though.

Original poster
MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 14:44

... I thought it would be a nice treat for DH and I to motivate us on the first day of our healthy eating plan, but couldn't really justify 16 pounds for 4 pieces of salmon. Then i felt guilty about giving DS and the nanny fish fingers. Hence the thread.

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 01/05/2012 14:44

Scary! My arse! Grin

TheRhubarb · 01/05/2012 14:45

Ok fair enough Marie, but you didn't really have to ask did you? Or did you?

Original poster
MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 14:46

But it isn't about giving her something different because she is less important, it is about giving her something different because she is not on a diet.

OP posts:
PoohBearsHole · 01/05/2012 14:48

I have someone who looks after my children once a week, you could call her a nanny, its not a term she uses herself.

Whatever I buy she regularly either brings food from home, or makes a cheese sandwhich.

And to those people who don't like the fact that people have nannie's get over yourselves, it is good employment for people and the fact is here you get flamed for having a nanny (help), cleaner (help) or putting your child in nursery (you are obviously a shit mother), oh and a childminder (have they been crb checked?)

The deleted thread has really really wound me up, I am more incensed than the op perhaps. You weren't just viperish you were a downright jealous sounding bitch. And yes I am talking about you op of the other thread!

PoohBearsHole · 01/05/2012 14:49

And if she doesn't eat at the same time as the op then fishfingers are fine. Especially frigging waitrose ones.

Original poster
MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 14:49

That's the thing. DH and I should be eating just protein and salad for dinner. So, I thought we could have salmon one day, a piece of steak the next day, etc. But it would be way too expensive to buy 4 of everything. Don't know what to do, really. I think I'll just give him the protein and salad and I'll eat 'normal' food with DS and the nanny. It's not as though they eat badly, I have taught her all my veggie recipes. But i am not meant to be eating rice, lentils, etc.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 01/05/2012 14:49

yes you viperish bitch yes. I hope you choke on your own fish fingers and fall voer in a nursery.

dreamingbohemian · 01/05/2012 14:49

I think Rhubarb has a good point -- a salmon/cod split would not have seemed so off as salmon/fish fingers.

I don't think I'd serve any adult fish fingers.

Hownoobrooncoo · 01/05/2012 14:50

Why not give her a food allowance and let her buy what she chooses?

Hownoobrooncoo · 01/05/2012 14:51

My husband would take fish fingers above steak, salmon but that is his choice. I couldn't sit and eaten expensive cut and expect the maid/ nanny to make do with something less unless that was her preference.

PoohBearsHole · 01/05/2012 14:52

I am an adult and I eat Waitrose Fish Fingers, as does dh, they are very nice Grin

imnotmymum · 01/05/2012 14:52

wow i leave to make a coffee and it all kicks off !! damn bloody maid having a day off ...

Original poster
MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 14:53

Why not give her a food allowance and let her buy what she chooses?

She would live on rice. Only. She eats whatever we are having, but left to her own devices she only eats rice. We went away for the weekend (actually, 4 days). We left her the equivalent of 120 pounds for food. She ate rice for 4 days.

OP posts:
muddychipmunk · 01/05/2012 14:53

Marie you know what? Step away from the pc. You're pregnant and at risk of pre eclampsia. Go and have a cup of tea and a sit down.

imnotmymum · 01/05/2012 14:55

£30 a day for one person !!!!!! and you say you cannot afford meat how expensive is it ??

TheRhubarb · 01/05/2012 14:55

This is not about giving her something different, it is about palming her off with what is essentially kids food.

If fish fingers are not good enough for you, then as a rule of thumb they are not good enough for anyone else either, diet or no diet.

They are kids food plain and simple. I get them for my kids, all the ads target kids, you just can't get away from it. Giving her kiddies food with your ds only serves to highlight that what you are serving her is just that.

I have no qualms with you buying you and your dh nice salmon because you are both on diets. I have no qualms with you having a nanny. I have no qualms with your state of financial affairs. I do have qualms with you even having to ask the question as to whether or not you should serve your nanny fish fingers whilst you had salmon.

It sounds wrong, it looks wrong, you even know yourself it is wrong. So why try and defend it against those who say it's wrong.

Now just take them back and swap them for a decent piece of fish for her and your ds. Fish fingers are shit, even Waitrose ones. You don't serve them to adults.

PoohBearsHole · 01/05/2012 14:55

She probably won't eat the fish fingers then!

dreamingbohemian · 01/05/2012 14:56

Sorry, but why are you stuck on 'protein and salad'?

I think actually that's not supposed to be the right diet for hypertension.

It does sound a bit like your DH is the odd one out -- you are more willing to eat healthy veggie stuff with your DS and your nanny.

I would focus on cooking what you like for the three of you, and if that's not enough for your DH then chuck a chicken breast or a baked potato or something on there for him.

minipie · 01/05/2012 14:57

Marie if you are pregnant you should not be putting yourself on an Atkins no carb style diet (which is what it sounded like you were trying to do). By all means stick to a healthy diet but please please don't try to cut out all carbs. It is not safe in pregnancy.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 14:57

rhubarb is right - they fact you had to ask OP speaks volumes.

TotemPole · 01/05/2012 14:58

Marie, I can understand you buying just for you and your DH. I found salmon filling when I cut down on carbs. A lighter fish won't fill you up as much and you'll end up feeling hungry before bed time.

You could eat later than DS and nanny. Using the time 'til bed and hunger as an excuse.

Are you not allowed to treat yourselves unless you treat the nanny as well? You're entitled to some couple time and treats.

He doesn't eat lamb, I don't eat chicken, he doesn't like anything veggie, it's a nightmare

You could do the rest of the meal the same and grill a lamb chop for you and grill him a chicken breast.

Original poster
MarieFromStMoritz · 01/05/2012 15:00

I'm not, minipie. I am just following what the doctor told us. I seem to have developed a sensitivity to rice and lentils since getting pregnant so she recommended I avoided them.

I was just trying to do the right thing. I can't afford fresh fish and meat for everyone.

OP posts:
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