AIBU to be bored of people who don't eat what their given

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

Seriously, when is it gonna sink in to people that if you accept an invitation to have dinner in someones home, it's only polite to eat what they give you.

On what planet is it ok to do anything other than eat what your given?

It was roast beef by the way, and the guests were british. I didn't give them lambs brains.

fucking twats

I don't eat animals. Won't make a fuss, will just have the veggies, but sorry, I certainly won't eat things that disgust me just to be nice.

Exactly, amiscissimma.

Outraged, it's not about being a control freak. It's basic politeness, if someone cooks for you, to eat it. In their own homes, in restaurants and everywhere else people can eat whatever they like, but if I'm cooking for them then, within reason (of course I cook things for people that I think and hope they'll enjoy), I assume that they'll eat it.

Goes without saying, but I apply the same thinking to myself too.

Actually, that should be: Exactly, amiscissimma, except for the principles bit': if someone has dietary restrictions for ethical or religious reasons of course I'll cater for them.

Well I wouldn't eat something I didn't like. Nor would I expect anyone else to.

My kids are not fussy eaters and I dont force them to eat anything and everything.
(BTW)

Back to the OP - I can sympathise and I sort of agree but when it comes down to it - I would rather someone didnt force down something I serve up just to be polite.

That leads to me thinking they love it and making it again.

If somene demands somehting else, makes a fuss, sulks, lectures, pretends to vomit, gets out their mobile and updates their fb status - that is v.rude and they should be escorted from the premises.

If they just leave it on their plate - meh.

I.m actually not that fussy, but dislike some food. I don't like brussel sprouts but would eat one or two and leave the rest. I don't like raw onion either or offal of any type. I wouldn't eat that.
A few years ago i did stop eating beef as I was having strange vomiting episodes and it always seemed to happen after eating beef. So I stopped eating it for a while, and have only started to eat it recently.
I remember as a child, being forced to eat foods that i didn't like. This can lead to eating disorders, apparently, which is why I never force anybody to eat anything.
I work with children and have had lots of success in getting so called 'fussy eaters' to eat a normal diet. This is not done by forcing them to eat everything that is put in front of them. Just the opposite, in fact, by allowing them choice and control over what they eat.

I'm genuinely surprised at all the yanbu comments on this thread. I really did think that most people understood that the majority of ordinary people have some food dislikes.

We have been out to dinner twice in recent weeks at the houses of people who haven't cooked for us before (lucky us) and both times the hosts have asked if there is anything we cannot or really don't want to eat. Which I thought was a perfectly normal and commonplace thing to do.

Are they your children then? What wouldn't they eat, and why?

It's not about basic politeness at all, and if you think it is then you are very lucky never to have experienced any issues with food.

My dh was neglected as a child and it left him with a very strong gag reflex that meant he was unable to eat many foods. It has taken a lot of hard work and therapy to enable him to eat normally, and he still struggles sometimes. I have no doubt that people have thought he is rude at times in the past, but if they are so narrow minded that they care more about etiquette than about something that has caused someone reall problems and distress, then I wouldn't want to eat food they made anyway.

I also think of my Gran, who insists my aunt is rude because she won't eat potatoes and the trifle she has lovingly made. The poor woman is diabetic and just trying to keep control of her glucose levels, but according to my Gran, you eat what you are offered and say its lovely even if you don't want it and it might cause you health problems.

YABU

As long as people aren't rude about it (complaining or making a big show of not liking something) and say thankyou for preparing the meal for them, then I genuinely don't see the problem.

I'm another with shagmund!
If I have guests and don't know their eating fads I serve the food in serving dishes so they can help themselves.
If they make a big thing about food issues other than allergy or religious they don't get invited again for food, simple!

Fussy eating I can handle but not, oh we're not ready for dinner cos we just ate hot dogs!

i think this is a difficult one. I would not eat anything i didn't like, but i eat most things so it's never been an issue.

I was however a very fussy child. But i was never forced to eat anything by my parents. They would say 'we wouldn't eat things we don't like so why should she' when friends parents told them they should force me.

Because of their attitude it meant that altho i didn't like much - i would always try something. Because there was no risk of being forced to finish it. So for example i would always try a pea - every sunday, one pea, for about 15 years till one sunday i thought mmmm i like that pea, i'll have some more!

I have always had problems with the men in my life and starters. My dad, exH and DP wont eat most 'cold' things, pate, quiche, seafood, fish, salads, cured meats, pickles/chutneys etc and it does make posh restaurants very difficult.

Before going to someones house i will let them know this (soup is always a good option!).

But also as a host i would hate to think someone forced food down or left hungry (never knowingly undercatered). So I always check first.

It is one thing if they don't eat much as long as they don't complain.
What really annoys me is people MIL not only not eating something but going on about how they find it disgusting while somebody else is eating it... Or saying to someone else FIL oh, but why are you eating x,y,z.. you don't like it!!
maybe he is being polite, or maybe he does like it they way I cook it, arrrrrghhhhh

Can I just ask anyone who has a child over as a guest who is being 'fussy', not to be a wanker about it.

I was a really fussy child. You have no idea how it feels if you aren't fussy to face a plate of lovingly, probably delicious, moussaka and all you can see is a plate of puke with maggots writhing in it. It's terrifying. But I grew out of it in my own time. I used to hate parents/relatives who made me feel like shit by drawing so much attention to my fussiness as if they could 'fix' me in 5 minutes.

My DD eats everything and my DS eats nothing. I am happy to inform friends and relatives that it's unlikely my DS will eat what they provide without a massive freak out if he feels it's forced on him. It's not his best attribute, I don't know how we got to this point (especially as my DDs fave meal is mixed bean salad with couscous and coriander ( middle class or what) but people being rude and making parent and child feel like kack are the ones being unreasonable. IMO.

Those of you that are so precious about your food that you wouldn't invite someone fussy are probably missing out on some wonderful company. There is a lot more to my dh than the fact that he is a bit fussy about food, and I would hate to think I could have missed out on being with someone wonderful if I'd been brought up with this judgemental attitude some people have that believes a person is rude if they won't force themselves to eat something they don't want.

I used to care for a little girl who was adopted and her mother said not to give her certain foods. I asked why and she said that this child was buggered by her father as a baby and some high fibre foods gave her problems because of the damage caused.
That's not something she should ahve to explain over the dinner table as an adult when she is invited to somebody else's house for dinner.

If you are having people to dinner, don't you have a conversation with them along the lines of, 'Is there anything you don't like?', or even, 'I'm thinking of making lasagne/roast beef/pizzas/fancy pants chicken in fancy sauce [if DH is cooking], is that okay?'

I think it is taking a chance, frankly, to invite guests and not check out their preferences first - after all, you can't force people to eat what you've cooked (and nor should you) - so if you want your guests to 'eat up and look happy' you have to plan a little in advance.

YABU.

Outraged, what I was talking about (and what I think the OP meant as well) was not serious food issues like gag-reflex problems or diabetes; obviously I would (I always do) cater for health issues. And insancerre, that poor little girl, that's truly horrific ; but someone could always say, in advance, 'I have to avoid high-fibre foods because of health issues.' It needn't be more explicit than that.

What I'm talking about is things like:

• someone painstakingly picking out every tiny shred of every vegetable from an omelette.

• someone holding a serving bowl of food on its way round the table and making 'Eeeuurgh' noises and faces at it.

• someone doing a similar thing with a tub of non-dairy ice cream (provided by the host) and loudly declaring that they 'liked their ice cream with loads of fat, and grease'.

• someone who, when I was making French toast for a few people, asked for separate batter without the tiny amount of mixed spice I'd put in because they 'would much prefer it that way'.

• someone who, when I invited people round for pancakes, asked if they could bring their own pancake mix as they 'much preferred that kind'.

These things have all happened to or been witnessed at people's houses by me. I consider all of these examples to be examples of rudeness and fussiness, and I am very confident that I am not being unreasonable in no longer cooking for any of the people involved in the things that happened at my house.

I must have eaten at friends'/family's houses countless times and been served things that weren't my favourites or that I don't particularly like. I wouldn't dream of making a fuss or drawing attention to it, even less asking for things to be made differently or if I could take my own.

NotSuchA - give their share to me... Banoffee pie mmmmmm.

I eat anything except pistachio nuts and offal. If I was given offal I would try it, but pistachio nuts make me vomit
I love when people cook for me, I have eaten things I never would have thought to cook and it's given me great new recipes. My friend who is vegan cooks for me a fair bit and I have loved everything she has given me. She says she likes cooking for me as I eat anything
Yanbu - unless they had said beforehand they didn't like it (my mum won't eat beef but always makes it known or would just eat side dishes)

Could you make it clear that the invitation is conditional on the guests doing that?
Then they can decide whether the pleasure of your company is worth being treated like a small child and made to clear their plate.
Why are you feeding difficult teenagers food they don't want to eat?

ladyclarice Those examples are rude, but people are complaining about others just not eating what they don't like. No fuss, no rudeness.