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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be bored of people who don't eat what their given

203 replies

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 29/04/2012 15:35

Seriously, when is it gonna sink in to people that if you accept an invitation to have dinner in someones home, it's only polite to eat what they give you.

On what planet is it ok to do anything other than eat what your given?

It was roast beef by the way, and the guests were british. I didn't give them lambs brains.

fucking twats

OP posts:
bibbitybobbitybunny · 29/04/2012 15:57

Op - do you have any foods you really can't bear?

People have genuine dislikes ... that is not being fussy or unreasonable.

Should I force my son to eat butter or potatoes? No, of course not, there are hundreds of other things he will eat, he is NOT fussy.

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 29/04/2012 15:57

ijust find it boring now, i didn't mind so much when they had friends round after school who didn't eat stuff, but i'd kind of assumed they would grow out of it

OP posts:
Mrbojangles1 · 29/04/2012 15:58

We had somone to dinner who was naming brand they will and wont eat lets just say they haven't got another invite

fotheringhay · 29/04/2012 15:59

Just want to make a point - I sometimes have to stick to a very awkward diet which I don't like telling people about (because it's for a bowel disease and I'm embarrassed) so sometimes I leave things on my plate. I realise this is a rare situation, but it can't be just me that it applies to. I'd hate to be considered rude.

MarySA · 29/04/2012 16:00

Well I would agree with your post more or less. I can't abide fussy eaters either. But I was once given fish stew at somebody's house. It was dire but I swallowed it down.

usualsuspect · 29/04/2012 16:01

Do you eat things you don't like?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 29/04/2012 16:02

Maybe DialM. But that doesn't make any of the other food issues out there less valid or less real or less difficult to deal with for those who have them.

MerylStrop · 29/04/2012 16:08

I dunno

If I'm having people over I want them to enjoy themselves. It's my job as host to accommodate their dietary whims, you know, within reason. I'd hate anyone to force down food they dislike.

WifiNappies · 29/04/2012 16:09

I get over faced really easily, so if you plonked a huge plate in front of me I'd probably only eat half and you'd think I was rude. If I can help myself then I probably eat more overall and everyone's happier.

My MIL used to plate up huge meals for me and probably thought I was very fussy and rude for leaving some. I'm really not I just don't want my portion sizes to be controlled by other people.

So depending on the situation YA or YAN BU!

Shagmundfreud · 29/04/2012 16:11

YANBU

There are only two reasons to refuse to eat what you're given:

  • because it is religiously/ethically unacceptable (eg you're a muslim and your host offers pork, or you're a vegetarian)
  • because you're allergic to it

Other than that - you eat what you're given. And you say it's lovely. Even if it's revolting.

Them the rules in Shagworld.

FashionEaster · 29/04/2012 16:12

Have a family friend who virtually foists allergies on his dcs which irritates me no end as a)host and b) irritating when you know ppl with genuine allergies. Last time they visited no dairy. This time they visited no red meat or wheat but dairy was now ok, having gone to some trouble to produce a non-dairy menu. Rejected the roast dinner they specifically requested for bloody fish-fingers. Dcs are unsurprisingly, with this approach, faddy eaters, although will wolf sweets, chocs and crisps. Out of desperation, on the second day, I did suggest we go out for a meal but despite eating out at restaurants all the time at home it was a fraught experience, and I include my own dc3 (18m) in that, and not to be repeated!

Shagmundfreud · 29/04/2012 16:12

"Do you eat things you don't like?"

Yes. Absolutely. Because my host's feelings are more important to me than eating what I like.

Badgerina · 29/04/2012 16:13

Wow! So intolerant. I think YABU. Food has become highly emotional in our culture, something that at it's best gives intense pleasure, and at it's worst, guilt and body issues. I also think a lot of our "grin and bear it" attitudes to food come from during the war when food was scarce and waste was unthinkable.

Ok, I understand you feel insulted, as you've spent time and care over preparing a meal you find delicious, but WHY, in order to spare your bad feelings, should you want another person to feel bad eating something they don't like?

I don't prepare meals I don't like, because I wouldn't eat it. I don't prepare meals my husband doesn't like (he's fussy), and I try to make meals my son likes, but he's still learning about food and sometimes needs the option to eat something different, or leave things on the side of his plate. When friends come over, I ask what they like and make something we can all enjoy.

I personally would hate to think that anyone was having anything less than a lovely time eating something I'd cooked. If they don't like something, they don't eat it, and perhaps they can look in the fridge to find an alternative.

Shagmundfreud · 29/04/2012 16:13

bibbity - not eating butter or potatoes is fussy.

Sorry.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 29/04/2012 16:14

I have a fussy family member. Her child has turned out the same way. She is surprised by this. I'm not.

My mum was very big on "eat what you're given". This lead to the "me having to eat green eggs" episode - but I did eat them.

usualsuspect · 29/04/2012 16:14

As a host my guests like and dislikes would be accounted for . I would hate to think someone was forcing down food they didn't like.

Shagmundfreud · 29/04/2012 16:18

Endo - I so agree.

My children eat whelks, all fish and seafood - including things with tentacles - sprouts and beetroot. And they're 6 and 8.

They are unfussy because we don't cater for faddy eating in our house. [disclaimer here, I appreciate children with developmental disorders can be very rigid about eating, can't be helped and you just have to work around it).

NT adults being faddy eaters..... sorry, I just feel that they're incredibly parochial

usualsuspect · 29/04/2012 16:19

Do you not dislike any food at all?

bibbitybobbitybunny · 29/04/2012 16:20

Don't be so utterly ridiculous Shagmund. Being fussy is refusing to eat loads of foods, to the extent that people have to make special meals for you.

Not liking butter or potatoes is simply not liking butter and potatoes! Not in the least bit unreasonable.

1950sHousewife · 29/04/2012 16:21

I can be fussy, I am also deadly allergic to several things (nuts, sesame etc). DH won't eat fish because he thinks it's gross.

I always tell the hosts in advance what I can't eat and what he won't eat. Usually they groan (which pisses me off a little - I can't help being anaphylactic to nuts and annoying other things like pine nuts and avocados. It's as rude as having a whinge about having to move table arrangements around because someone is in a wheelchair IMO) and I ask if they have any idea what they think they may be cooking. I can then let them know if I will or won't be able to eat it.

But to turn up and not eat roast beef is just a little weird. Beef isn't exactly an uncommon thing to make people so they should have said something.

Unless the meat was dripping in blood. I can't stand really rare meat. Even then, I'd cut the bits off I did like and shuffle the rest around the plate.

nemno · 29/04/2012 16:25

Fussy eaters are really upsetting for a host, particularly if you know you have taken allergies, vegginess etc into account. YANBU

DrSeuss · 29/04/2012 16:26

No medical or religious reason for refusing to eat what my host serves = Neck it, even if it's disgusting or just something I dislike. Does no one have basic good manners anymore? I would not serve anything that offended someone's faith and I would not give meat to veggies or alcohol to teetotallers. That in my book is also good manners.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 29/04/2012 16:28

No, YANBU! This is my pet hate along with lots of others. I can't abide fussiness. And as for 'getting to choose' etc; every time someone cooks or orders food for themselves they get to choose, but when someone's been nice enough to cook for you it's their prerogative what they make. Guests bloody well eat it and say thank you.

This attitude of mine obviously doesn't stretch to dietary restrictions of any kind, just fussiness.

quoteunquote · 29/04/2012 16:29

*YANBU

There are only two reasons to refuse to eat what you're given:

  • because it is religiously/ethically unacceptable (eg you're a muslim and your host offers pork, or you're a vegetarian)
  • because you're allergic to it

Other than that - you eat what you're given. And you say it's lovely. Even if it's revolting.

Them the rules in Shagworld.*

you are me and I claim my five pounds.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 29/04/2012 16:30

There are loads of things that people are fussy about, from which way the toilet roll goes on the holder to the type of clothes they wear to the way they keep their homes. Out of all the things there are in the world to be fussy about, to be fussy about what goes inside your mouth and then into your body has got to be most understandable.

How much of a control freak do you have to be to have an opinion about what other people do and do not choose to eat?