...to think all the good men against sexual violence should make a big noise!

[Berts]

I know this probably isn't entirely fair, and loads of people will now come on and cheer my heart with all their examples of men campaigning against rape and sexual violence, but it really does seem like an issue dominated by women and female-led organisations.

AIBU to ask all those good men (and I know you're out there) who are horrified by sexual violence and the awful treatment of victims in our society to join in the debates, the arguments, the discussions? It's not a 'women's issue'!

Us girls may 'hold up half the sky', but we can't do without you, the other half. Sexual violence distorts the whole of society and fucks up the natural dynamic between men and women. So condemn it wherever you see it reported! Get on Twitter and slag off Connor Brown! Campaign for better sentencing and the busting of rape myths! Stand up with us!

Campaigning for stronger sentences and faster responses / greater support would be the only point, making "noise" in itself, about any violence - is worthless.

I am male and don't feel the need to 'get on Twitter and slag off Connor Brown' as like the overwhelming majority of people - of any gender - I find sexual violence abhorrent and don't feel the need to reassert it by hurling invective at a none too bright footballer on Twitter.

I don't particularly like the implication that unless males 'make noise' they are giving tacit approval to sexual violence.

I don't particularly like the implication that unless males 'make noise' they are giving tacit approval to sexual violence.

I'm sad you see it that way because the likes of Conor Brown DO see it like that. If a woman complains they are either a slag after money or an ugly lesbian.

No matter how many equality laws are passed certain people will believe they are better than a whole group of other people, until one of their peers points out it is wrong.

Sashh are you doing your A levels by any chance? Because your sweeping generalizations take me right back to the late 1980s and all the pointless posturing and ineffective waste of energy I witnessed that time round.

anonymosity

No I'm not doing A Levels, a person who abuses a woman after she has been raped has no respect for women - yes that is a sweeping statement but I stand by it.

Most people would think hounding a victim of crime was wrong, but while the abuser only hears positive things from other men/football fans he will not see it as abuse. And this has only been in the news because it was on twitter - it happens to women and girls who were raped, but no by someone famous.

And the late 1980s - where if a teacher stood up for a teenager who was being bullied for being gay they risked loosing their job for 'promoting homosexuality' - yes the arguments against that particular piece of legislation was a waste of time wasn't it?

Oh and the change in law so that rape withinig marriage became a crime - yes I agree complete waste of time.

Lets move forward into the nineties - shock horror, lets expand equalitiy legislation to those with disabilities - again a waste of time.

I find your last post disgraceful. I would be annoyed if dh thought it was ok to abuse anyone on twitter. Yes even a rapist. A
Verbal abuse is wrong as well. Just because dh doesn't do it does not mean he supports violence against women. Also it was in the news. a
Sky news carried the story.

'Oh and the change in law so that rape withinig marriage became a crime - yes I agree complete waste of time.'

That is a bizarre and potentially incredibly damaging thing to say. I worked in the police for a number of years and dealt with many, many incidents of rape within marriage, many of which resulted in prosecution. Obtaining convictions for any sexual offence is fraught with difficulties for a number of reasons but by no means is the legislation itself a 'waste of time', nor is it a 'waste of time' for any victim of sexual violence to report it.

Let's start with a few facts:

Yes most sexual offenders are men
But most men are not sexual offenders
And they are in no way responsible for what the minority does.

I'm surrounded by men who are very respectful to women. My biggest supporter and closest friend when I was healing from having been abused as a child is a man. I know he has a word or two to say about the man who abused me, as does my husband.

And how many women are speaking out for that horribly unsupported group, raped and abused men?

Feak, I think that post of sashh's was meant to be sarcastic, as in it's obviously not a waste of time! At least that was how I read it....

ComposHat well said

I can see you have good intentions OP

But this is like saying "All good women against (insert heinous crime) should make a big noise"

There are just too many causes out there to be able to support them all.

Encouraging anyone to slag someone off on the internet is straying into dodgy legal territory by the way.

And very well said Compos

FeakAndWeeble T

You obviously missed my sarcasm, I actually believe that piece of legislatio was well overdue - please reread my post and the one I was answering.

why is OP getting such a hard time?

I think these men rapists do need to hear it from other men that no consent=rape, and rape is not ok. they arent respectful of women, obviously. So the only way to get the message across is if men are telling it

seriously? you think even rapists shouldnt get a virtual telling off?

DPrince

I'm not saying a rapist should be abused, I'm saying we whould be appauled that anyone thinks it's OK to abuse a victim of rape

madmouse T

But none of these nice men seem to want to stand up against what is going on on twitter.

If a male victim of rape was being abused it would be equally bad - but at the moment that is not the case.

why arent they more vocal, when it affects their wives/girlfriends/sisters/daughters?

I agree with you in principle OP.

I don't think anyone should take to Twitter to answer these appalling rape apologists, male and female, I'm sad to notice, because it is a waste of energy.

But I think all people should resolve to challenge the hatred of women whenever they hear it in every day life, just like they accept they should speak up if someone expresses racist or other abhorrent views even though they might not be in the abused group.

They might not feel brave enough to do so all the time but they should try whenever they can.

I don't think its right to abuse people on twitter, no. Sorry. Many men are great supporters of Women, The fact they don't want to take part in a modern day flogging does not mean they are condoning it. Its offensive to suggest that unless a man tweets his disappointment he must support the rapist.

Making a noise is vital to changing public attitudes. It's ludicrous to say it isn't.

it is not 'dodgy legal territory' to call a convicted rapist a rapist on the Internet

I agree, men who do nothing collude with those who do harm. Hate bystanders.

I don't agree with abusing these people on Twitter or anywhere else either DPrince.

But do you agree that there are other ways that men can show their disapproval for the abuse of women? What might they be?

MightyNice

What I said was "Encouraging anyone to slag someone off on the internet is straying into dodgy legal territory by the way"

Because the OP said "Get on Twitter and slag off Connor Brown!"

That's not necessarily 'calling a convicted rapist a rapist'

And actually, Connor Brown isn't a convicted rapist is he?

From what I understand (though willing to be corrected) it was his friend who was convicted of rape?

What constitutes making a noise? Posting on the internet? Writing letters? Shouting on street corners?

I think a better method is to bring up our children to know what respect for other human beings is.

Shouting at arseholes achieves little, they won't change their minds just cos I shout at them. They'll justify themselves by calling me names instead. It's how bigots work. They are right, everyone else is wrong.

why is this thread becoming about whether it is right or wrong to 'abuse' people on twitter????????????????????

OP didnt say make a noise on twitter