...to think all the good men against sexual violence should make a big noise!

[Berts]

I know this probably isn't entirely fair, and loads of people will now come on and cheer my heart with all their examples of men campaigning against rape and sexual violence, but it really does seem like an issue dominated by women and female-led organisations.

AIBU to ask all those good men (and I know you're out there) who are horrified by sexual violence and the awful treatment of victims in our society to join in the debates, the arguments, the discussions? It's not a 'women's issue'!

Us girls may 'hold up half the sky', but we can't do without you, the other half. Sexual violence distorts the whole of society and fucks up the natural dynamic between men and women. So condemn it wherever you see it reported! Get on Twitter and slag off Connor Brown! Campaign for better sentencing and the busting of rape myths! Stand up with us!

oh..yes she did

anyway...the issue is bgger than twitter ffs

Yes she did bejeezus

Again....

Get on Twitter and slag off Connor Brown!

his friend is a convicted rapist, not the victim of a miscarriage of justice, how is it dodgy legal territory to 'slag him off' ?

MightyNice

Slagging Connor Brown off on Twitter (as the OP is asking men to do) is straying into dodgy legal territory IMO.

I can't really put it any clearer than that.

Connor Brown called a rape victim a 'money grabbing tramp'
I reckon he can hold his own huh?

Twitter is the embodiment of 'dodgy legal territory' - I think if slagging off = condemn Connor Brown's behaviour on the network it is not as dodgy as watching it all unfurl without saying anything.

would you like something for that bump on your head? Paracetamol? Cool cloth?

The bump will be fine

My sanity however, left the thread the 5th time I had to explain what I was talking about

I think what can be expected of the good men of this world is to live their lives in such a way that they show respect to women and teach their sons accordingly. And react to particular situations. My friend and dh cannot have a go at my abuser as he is in a different country and the case is too old for prosecution.

Also the decent men in my life are mostly not on twitter and even if so may not have seen what Mr brown said.

I reckon if it is dodgy legal territory- all the more reason to do it!
That will certainly bring attention to the issue- if Connor Brown wants to bring legal action against 500 men over twitter insults.....or 1000 men....or 5000 men

Pretty bold statement IMO

It's time that insulting a woman for being sexually active with whoever she chooses, and as many people she chooses, stopped being acceptable.

It's an attitude that pervades the whole of society.

techno all the things you've mentioned work, though letters to MPs and those involved in law-making and enforcement and social change are more effective than posting on the internet, especially as part of a co-ordinated and sustained campaign.

I wouldn't stop anyone shouting on street corners by themselves but it's better to join demonstrations with other like-minded people.

I'd also add boycotts and letter-writing campaigns of companies and organisations that support the behaviour you want to change.

And of course, putting gentle but determined pressure on loved-ones, in this case fathers, husbands, boyfriends, friends and brothers, to think about the problem and what they can do about it.

Have you never done anything like that?

Yes, of course we should bring up our children to respect others. I take that as a given, don't you?

All these things force society to change and are usually the precursor to legislation.

Ok worra try, if you can, to focus on something other than abusing people on Twitter because I think we both know that's not the central issue.

Do you think there are things that men could do to change the attitudes of members of society to the abuse of women in any or all of its forms?

And if you do agree, what would you suggest?

If anyone feels so inclined to slag off Connor Brown on Twitter, be my guest if it makes you feel better, I am sure he will get plenty of stick from the crowd at whatever away ground he turns up at. But don't kid yourself it will make an iota of difference.

Rather than 'making noise' I would hope that continuing to treat women as autonomous, intelligent individuals and according them dignity and respect would be a more useful and if I ever have a son pass on the same values to them.

Barring the twitter issue (know nothing about it) I agree with what the OP is saying. I have male friends/relatives saying to me "this is awful, you should write a letter about it".

Er, actually YOU should write a letter about it. If you believe in sexual equality put your money where your mouth is.

Do or say something, men get noticed ten times more when they do (remember when David Mitchell was practically canonised for expressing feminist beliefs?). It's wrong to treat the liberation of women as "women's work" and thinking if you have a penis, it's not your responsibility.

It's curious how apparently men's only responsibility is to behave well themselves. Whatever happened to standing up against bullies?

Ok worra try, if you can, to focus on something other than abusing people on Twitter because I think we both know that's not the central issue

Thanks but if it's all the same to you, I'll just continue posting in the way I see fit

I wasn't particularly 'focusing' on it anyway...I was answering other people who were posting to me.

Well, I'm posting to you worra so if you can, I'd like you to answer my specific question:

Do you think there are things that men could do to change the attitudes of members of society to the abuse of women in any or all of its forms?

And if you do agree, what would you suggest?

It's curious how apparently men's only responsibility is to behave well themselves. Whatever happened to standing up against bullies?

Because as autonomous individual am responsible for my own behaviour, I can persuade, influence or plead with others but I cannot be held responsible for them. I am no more responsible for Ched Evans's actions than you (or any other woman) is for Rose West.

I'm also interested that you seem to think 'standing up to bullies' is specifically a man's job?

Oh my fucking God are you my old School teacher?!?

That's hilarious

And no I won't be stroking your ego by answering you

Exactly tech there is so much that can be done quietly that doesn't require shouting at an offender. I whole nearly disagree that those who say nothing are colluding. Not tweeting someone is not the same as agreeing or standing by and watching.

Don't be ridiculous ComposHat! By standing up to bullies I mean both verbally (as in, speaking out when friends/colleagues talk about women in a vile manner) but also institutionally e.g. Refuge, Rape Crisis, and politically e.g. writing to MPs or the press to highlight the issue of sexual assault.

Sorry, badly worded post. I am not saying things should be done quietly. I am saying that you don't have to be making noise to prove you are against it.

I am thinking of the slightly wider world beyond twitter and in general, but the saying about 'all it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing' is not true. If they are doing nothing they are not good men.

I.e. I am agreeing with the OP that many many women ALREADY stand up to this kind of bullying of other women (not because they are women too, but because it is wrong), and curious as to why so many on this thread imply that ALL men can do is be decent themselves and keep schtum.

I mean, I am straight but I sure as hell speak out when I hear homophobic language etc.