AIBU to really hate the term "birth rape"

[laumiere]

It's from this story where a woman is allegedly put under a GA under her will and given an emergency C section. All very unpleasant (although it does throw up the question as to how much we really expect to control a process which at a basic level is still capable of killing us and our babies) but commentators are starting to term it 'birth rape'. As a rape survivor and someone who has supported rape victims as part of my job I am so sick of this term being overused and devalued! (This goes double for the moronic "draping" on FaceBook).

That should be "fraping", bloody autocorrect!

Maybe the silly cow would have been happier if her son had been stillborn or born alive but massively damaged.

Birth rape is an awful term. Yanbu.

disgusting to use that term

I've never heard that term before, but I agree that it's horrible. Saving a baby's life can hardly be equated to being forced to have sex.

Foul

Jeez, that's an horrific story. No, it's not rape but it is a (non-sexual) assault - an assault by doctors but in this country they would be in a criminal court (assuming what she says is true), and then in front of the GMC. In the UK, a doctor may not touch you without your consent, let alone operate on you, unless you are incapable of giving consent. Which doesn't apply to her.

I do not see much difference between saying NO to unwanted sex and being forced into it and saying NO to an unwanted surgery and being forced into it. One is degraded as individual.

Where do you see the difference to the degree that it devalues the "rape" notion?

yanbu i also really really hate 'frape'
also people using it flippantly, eg one girl i know of - she had to see a male dr for some appointment instead of a female one as would have prefered. she said 'i felt raped' - ffs, if you feel that strong cancel the appointment its not exactly like rape is it.

Her story is awful but maybe she misinterpreted some things, say if she was on gas and air or pethedine, can't they cause confusion? Anyway, it's an inappropriate term.

this term sickens me also, in third world countries c-sections are not always available and if there is a high risk of mother or child not surviving or even both.
we are so lucky as a country to have these options available to us even if they are under emergency circumstances
i had an emergency c-section myself and the operation was discussed in details and the risks etc outlined and i had to sign a few consent forms...but how can people call it 'rape' when its possibly saving theirs or their childs life!?

there are no benefits to being raped but clearly huge benefits to having an emergency section ie the life of your child!

This makes me so cross. In Afghanistan where many women dont have access to proper pre /peri/post natal care, one in 8 women dies in childbirth. People forget this and get cross when they don't get to have a perfect whale music birth because the doctors tried to save their life or the life of their baby.

YANBU. It's a shocking term and makes no sense really. Assault, yes - legally assault if she was operated on against her will - but not rape.

Also agree with you re. frape - first time I saw that I didn't know what the hell it was but after it was explained I thought it was a pathetic term.

It's a bloody awful story though - poor woman. :(

It is a word which is used too lightly i think - i remember my exMil saying, after some idiot in his car stuck 2 fingers up at her, that she had been mentally raped! When we pointed out this was an over reaction she was adamant it was on the same scale but conceded it wasn't quite as bad

I also think this about using the word crusade for campaigns.

Horrible term. I also cringe at 'frape' on FB. YANBU.

If that story is true, that woman has been violated in a most horrible way.

I don't think it raises any questions about how we attempt to "control" birth, but a number of serious allegations about consent.

Consent to a medical procedure is absolutely required. Drugging someone by deception and then operating without any consent would be an appalling abuse of medical ethics, patient trust, and doctor power.

I agree with you about the term "fraping", but I don't really think you can claim that calling this story birth rape trivialises rape.

If this is true (and I struggle to believe it) then there is nothing trivial about it at all.

Lets get the facts straight.

From what is written in the post, this woman was operated WITHOUT the appropriate consent. The consent could have and should have been obtained before the operation. Next of kin should have been involved (her dh who was available at the time).

Maybe some are happy to go through a surgery without their permission, but it is illegal in this country. And please leave Afghanistan alone.

I think the term is very appropriate.

I think that woman's case ( no signing of documents etc) is a separate issue to the misuse of the term rape. Birth Gbh would cover it.

I agree it is emotive term and not legally recognized, but would not dismiss her feelings to feel violated/raped/whatever other term she chooses to use. If this is what happened as pointed by athing.

Or serious assault etc

Doctors don't just anesthatise patients and give them c sections just for fun. While I sympathise with this woman as she is clearly distressed, she needs to appreciate that her need for control and enough time to have a discussion with her husband could have resulted in her baby's death. Until she has the facts about what happened, I think she should take some responsibility not to scare other pregnant women that may end up thinking there is no reason why the same couldn't happen to them.

Wow - people think a woman who was operated on against her will is a "silly cow" who should be grateful

"Doctors don't just anesthatise patients and give them c sections just for fun."

Their motivation for doing it is irrelevant. It is illegal to operate on a woman without consent.

To be fair, the original blogger DOESN'T call it birth rape, it's a term other people have appropriated her experience as. Hence my irritation.