AIBU to really hate the term "birth rape"

[laumiere]

It's from this story where a woman is allegedly put under a GA under her will and given an emergency C section. All very unpleasant (although it does throw up the question as to how much we really expect to control a process which at a basic level is still capable of killing us and our babies) but commentators are starting to term it 'birth rape'. As a rape survivor and someone who has supported rape victims as part of my job I am so sick of this term being overused and devalued! (This goes double for the moronic "draping" on FaceBook).

its not sexual assault

The dictionary definition of 'rape':
noun
1.
the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2.
any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3.
statutory rape.
4.
an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5.
Archaic . the act of seizing and carrying off by force.

verb (used with object)
6.
to force to have sexual intercourse.
7.
to plunder (a place); despoil.
8.
to seize, take, or carry off by force.
verb (used without object)
9.
to commit rape.

The term 'birth rape' is correct.

Rape does not just = sexual assault bejeezus.

What an ungratful cow.........

Is she looking for compensation ?????

bejeezus (good name btw) can I ask - when you said earlier that a patient crying out in pain is not a good reason for a dr to stop a procedure - did you mean it like this or like this......

A. dr tells a patient something is necessary but will hurt - patient consents - patients indicates distress during procedure and dr apologises but continues

B. dr tells a patient something is necessary and begins to perform procedure - patient asks dr to stop - dr continues anyway

I agree that a patient manifesting pain is not a reason to stop BUT I disagree that a patient asking a dr to stop is insufficient reason to cease and desist. (Except in really exceptional circs, of course.)

"Wow - people think a woman who was operated on against her will is a "silly cow" who should be grateful "
It was to save a baby, her baby, what about its right to live she is a silly cow !! Not like it was any other operation to do with solely her survival, would she really want the c section not to have happened??

I had a c-section under GA. I can remember nothing about the next 24 hrs, I missed all the "firsts" & can't remember when I first saw her. I remember everything beforehand, up till thinking "h'mm maybe I should say the anaesthetic isn't worki....". HOWEVER I did give consent, and was treated with respect.
I can understand how this lady would be incredibly traumatised by what happened to not be told what's going on is appalling, but to have major surgery under GA without giving any sort of consent is terrible. A huge violation and definitely assault. However, I don't like or agree with the term "birth rape", even if it is linguisitcally possible.

... from the info given, we've no idea if a CS under GA was the only option. She may have had time for a spinal,even if a CS was necessary.

crje NO she isnt looking for compensation if you read the comments she posts updating, all she wanted was an explanation and an apology if necessary.

she was never told why the c section was necessary or given the chance to consent.

we have no idea if it was to 'save her baby' or not as that was never explained to her, thats the point had they said to her 'we need to get this baby out NOW' in all likely hood she would have given consent, she never got that opportunity.

and i am quite saddened that some women on here have posted their experiences and said they felt violated etc only to be told that they werent, manual removal of placenta with no pain relief, begging the dr to stop and thats not violating? in a life and death situation hell no its not, but if a dr does not even offer pain relief or say i am sorry but i need to do this etc, yes it is a a violation.

If all she wanted was an explanation and apology why didn't she make an appointment to go in and speak to someone

"It was to save a baby, her baby,"

From the information given we can't tell whether it was necessary in order to save the baby or not. Either way, there is no reason why they couldn't have taken a few moments to seek her consent.

"what about its right to live she is a silly cow !!"

Well in the UK, if I understand correctly, the baby doesn't have any rights until it's born. As has already been said here - women aren't just walking incubators.

I don't think anyone should be flinging the words 'silly cow' about just because her choices are not the ones they would make themselves.

she tried moomins she wrote several times and requested a copy of her notes and although she recieved her notes they were not accurate (said her dh gave consent which he didnt) and she got no reply from others that she wrote to.

ok Lavolcan the baby may not have any rights until it born [I do not know personally] but really unless it was an emergency surely when they were putting the needle in she would have time to say something etc. I do not know full story but surely after nurturing the baby in her womb for nine months does it not make sense that baby is born alive and well ?? Is that what any mum to be would want. I do understand she will be disappointed/hurt/traumatised but when she has her fit and alive baby in her arms surely all worth it ??
Women are nit just walking incubatorss !! OMG she did decide to have a baby I presume

have you read the story iamnotmymum they didnt put a needle in they gave her a mask telling her it was oxygen to help her baby, only it wasnt it was an anesthetic, so they LIED to her and then she woke up having been operated on.

pretty sure had they said to her, we need to operate and get the baby out and said they were knocking her out she wouldnt be complained but they didnt they tricked her into it.

She states that she decided not to go back to speak to someone, if my notes said my dh had consented when he didn't I'd be going back in to find out exactly what happened.

Actually I did go back in after my last two pg even though i found going back to the hospital traumatic.

They obviously had some kind of conversation with her as she told them she didn't want a c section until she had spoken to her husband

"does it not make sense that baby is born alive and well ?? Is that what any mum to be would want."

I don't think anyone would disagree with that. It's the way they went about things which is making her feel violated and it's not clear from her account whether the CS was necessary.

she would have said she wanted to speak to her husband, not that she did.

and no she didnt want to go back to speak to anyone but they have not replied to her correspondance.

They took her to the operating theatre and at that point she said she didn't want a CS, and wouldn't have one until seeing her husband. From her account, that was the full extent of the discussion.

Just read the story . Did that really happen ??

This brings to mind the awful story of Angela Carder who was given a C-section against her will: both she and her baby died.

My dd wouldnt be here today if i hadnt had an emergency c section

theone Actually neither would I. But my mum did get to consent, first. I think that's kinda nice personally.

Yes i think its disgusting what they did to this lady its illegal but not rape tho maybe a new word should have been used?

most notably, she was told she was going to OR just in case and upon getting there they started prepping her for surgery without a word...