To think a "no gifts" birthday party invitation is a bit rude?

[theverysuccessfulone]

We were invited to a child's birthday party and the invite states "no gifts, please." AIBU to feel a bit uncomfortable with that for a series of reasons?

• First of all, I don't like to be told what to do like that.
• I'll feel awkward arriving empty handed (I'll buy a card, but still...).
• Someone suggested taking a little home made thing - no, thank you, I don't want to spend a whole afternoon crafting something when I can't hardly keep on top of the stuff I already have to do! (and anyway I can't knit or bake or sew or whatever).
• It passes the idea that they are not interested in whatever you may have to give - it may not be good enough for them (which is a shame for their DC. One interesting thing about gifts is that sometimes people buy stuff you would never buy yourself, or you never even knew existed, and the DC loves it. So it's a way to get to know new things).

I won't make a fuss, I'll just get a card, and hope it's the right thing to do. I wonder if people will ignore it and take gifts just the same, and I'll be the odd one standing out?

no, i don't think it's rude at all.

maybe they have a gazillion toys at home and don't want to be inundated with 30 more regardless of how "good" they are?

parties aren't just about presents are they? I am sure your DC will have a great time regardless of whether or not they take a gift

YABU, it's up to the parents that you think it's so out of order?

What, really? YABU.

Do you know any of the parents of the other children invited? You could ask them and see what they are thinking/doing.

Wow yabu!

The hosts are probably trying to be thoughtful and also sick of the kids getting too much. I don't understand why you'd care!

As for 'not liking being told what to do' and 'feeling awkward' It's not about you, it's someone elses party and they can be gift free if they want to!

I think it's great. The world is too materialistic as it is.

Good God I've heard it all now! How the Jeffing arseholes is this rude?

I can kind of see where you are coming from but think they probably have very good reason not to want any gifts for their dc.
How about taking a bottle of wine for the parents. or perhaps a small cake, preferably home made but bought if not. Otherwise just go with a card.

YABU. Sensible idea if you ask me

I don't think its rude at all, I'd love it on any invitation. They may be thinking that in the current climate not everyone can afford them and don't want anyone to feel embaressed.

YABU

We got an invitation before we broke up for Easter with a gift list! For a 6 yo's party.

We are not going to the party.

Oh and over the last two years I have given away 90% of my dc's toys - they still have two bedrooms full of toys/games etc so I know exactly where this mother is coming from.

Yabu.

Seems whatever you do re presents is wrong, if you ask for money -wrong, if you don't stipulate exactly what you want - wrong, if you say no presents- wrong.
Oh and I find people "who don't like being told what to do" incredibly rude.

Accept the invite with a reciprocal note

" i am happy to accept your terms and conditions. I trust you will not be sending my child home with a bag full of plastic tat and sweets."

YABU- but it is unusual and that is why you dont like it

I expect they are trying to be nice, and sensitive to the fact that buying a present every time a friend has a party really adds up. If you really want to buy a gift do, and I'm sure it will be appreciated. No one is ordering you about. The clue is in the 'please'.

YABU. In Canada they do Loonie parties and Toonie parties. Greatest idea ever. Kids either bring a Loonie ($1) each and the birthday child gets to spend the resultant amount or they bring a Toonie ($2) each and normally the birthday child spends half on a charity and half on a present. Easy, quick, no fuss and no tat. Brilliant. Thirty crappy gifts must be a nightmare.

YABU. Perhaps they have previously received gifts for their kids that they consider inappropriate or perhaps they don't want their child to be deluge in gifts or any of a million different reasons. Their kid, their call. Sheesh!

Not rude at all, it's much easier for you too to not have to go and buy a present.

I once didn't want presents for ds1 at one of his birthday parties, so I just suggested book tokens on the invitation as he loves books. It went down well because everyone didn't need to worry about what to get him.

oh and love the idea of a bottle of vino for the parents.

if there was any way this could be adopted country wide, i would deff hold a party every year for every child

hth

YABU.

Take a card and be grateful!

They probably just don't want their house filled up with 30 items of plastic tat, which is perfectly reasonable.

Yabu. Sounds perfectly sensible to me.

I like Aqua's suggestion!

I can understand "you don't like being told what to do", but are you really upset about not having to part with your hard-earned cash for yet another party?

There are some very strange ideas about what is rude centred on birthday parties at the moment, if Mumsnet is anything to go by!
We have managed to get away with having a birthday party for DS, now 9, since he was 7, but if he wants one this year, I will be petrified, as it seems people can't do right for doing wrong!