To have been more annoyed at DP than the couple ripping the piss out of us?

[GNationalSucks]

This issue spreads throughtout the entire day so bear with me please.

DP and I had been very busy all day and hadn't had time to eat. We were driving past a McDonalds and I asked him if he fancied grabbing a burger. He agreed. We go through the drive-thru and I ask for a big mac meal and DP says he wants a chicken sandwich meal which costs £2.19. I order both and DP says "I'll sort out what I owe you when we get back to your house". I was like " don't worry about it, I'm buying". He didn't respond which I thought was rather rude but anyway!!

Later in the day we're in Asda and I have a conveyor belt of stuff heading to the cashier. DP puts a few things on the end of it, hands me a £5 note and says "that's for the stuff, you owe me 50p". I laugh assuming he's joking, turns out he isn't - I look at the stuff he's got and it can't cost more than £3 so I ask "why 50p?? that stuff doesn't come to £4.50" and he says "no, its to cover my side of the Mcdonalds earlier." At this point I see the couple in front of us catch each other's eyes and smirk without saying a word. It's obvious they were laughing at us.

I said "I bought the lunch, I told you at the time" so he says "oh did you?? oh right!! cool, well you owe me more than 50p then! () here let me work this out ... " the cashier then smirks and the man in front shakes his head. All 3 of them are ripping the piss out of us. I snap "Just sort it out later for gods sake".

We had a row about it when we got back to the car. I feel he showed us up and he does this a lot. When we got out for "2 meals for £10" things he'll try and work out exactly how much I need to contribute in front of the waitress. He's done it on buses, pubs, everything. One time we were in a bar and I'd bought the last round. We went to the bar and looked expectantly at him and he said quite aggressively "oh no! it's YOUR round!". que - a group of blokes start laughing at him. I calmly point out "err no, it isn't" to which he replies "Of course it is!!" when he realises his mistake he points out that as I drank a coke on my last round I should make up the difference or some shite that I didn't fully understand at the time.

Anyway, past issues aside, was I being unreasonable to be more annoyed at him making a laughing stock of us in asda than be annoyed at the people laughing?

Ye Gods

My vagina would close down quicker than Cameron on the benefits budget

my vagina would close down ...
I MUST remember that one!

HAs he/Is he in a situation where 50p makes a difference? Just wondering if he grew up having to count every penny & now can't get out of the habit? It sounds like he's generous with his time/effort, so why so exact about money?

i don't like him. i had a penny pinching husband - well, penny pinching with me, but not for himself. didn't like him either.

OP I once went out with a tight bastard. If he picked me up anytime he'd bill me for fuel and wear and tear on his car. I dumped him. His wife is the unhappiest woman I've ever seen. I doubt she always had those slumped shoulders.

Do you love him?

Who are these men?

Never, I say never in my life have I encountered this kind of behaviour. Did the OP say they split the cost of condoms WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!!! Was she being serious?

I've just told DH this and he is Does he have any friends? What are they like? Does he not have much money? Is there any explainable reason why he's like this?

I personally find tightfistedness deplorable, its really just so yuck and have had to cut a few people out of my life because it marred every interaction. We always had to go somewhere or not do something because it was cheaper or my turn bla bla bla.

I don't think you're suited, his good points aren't really anything special. Most half decent man would help you out with those thing. Also its telling you didn't go into loads of amazing qualities he does have. I reckon theres some equally stingy lady out there for him.

Have the make or break talk. If he can't change dump him and don't look back.

ROFL. I've never heard of someone billing someone else for wear and tear on their car after giving them a lift. :o

You split the cost of condoms?

Have you always done this? (I mean from the beginning of your relationship with him) Just how has this situation arisen?

Dump.Him.

I don't think going halves on condoms is so bad... DP and I used to take it in turns to buy them, they can be pretty expensive. Then again he used to buy them from supermarkets with his parents' shopping, and I'd get them on the BOGOF in Boots

We don't quibble over change or who has paid what, though. Just whoever has money spare, we help each other out.

Are condoms not free from the clinic anyhoo? You'd think with all his car boot canniness he'd have copped that one.

Then again he used to buy them from supermarkets with his parents' shopping Please tell me you mean that he bought shopping for his parents and bought condoms along with this, and not that he got his parents to buy him condoms when they did their weekly shop! :o

No, they are elderly, he used to go to the shops for them!

Apparently once his dad complimented his choice of brand though when he was unpacking everything

Yes crumpetty, that's exactly what I was thinking!

Bertie, are your bf's parents funding your condoms?

What age is he?

Oh, x-post.

Thank God for that !

Keep imagining him coming round saying "You owe me £1.75 for condoms".

Do people really laugh at the pair of you everywhere you go? Or are you imagining it? Either way, it's not a good sign in a relationship.

oh dear

it doesn't sound like you are a good match.

I think you should find someone more suited to your personality.

Sad little man.

Walk quietly but firmly away from this pathetic loser.

Thing is, whether he has some sort of social problem, is very broke, or grew up very broke and therefore panics over pennies - you've only been seeing him for nine months, you don't have DC or live together, and he is driving you nuts - dump him. It's fine to dump someone for the most trivial of reasons when you aren't living with that person or s/he is your DC's other parent. If a couple-relationship is not making you happy, put a stop to it and move on. Being single is infinitely better than being in a crap relationship.

Ugh. I wouldn't care about the boot sale talk in public, but this splitting everything down the middle is ridiculous. Why not simply take turns? Doesn't anyone ever want to be generous any more? Who CARES is someone "borrowed" money for a stamp, let it be a gift.

I wouldn't even want him for a friend, he sounds like a miser.

People like him need to be set up on something like "Punked", or a UK version of it.

The man is mean and embarrasses you in public.

As everyone else says- it will only get worse.

You are not tied to him yet- get away while you can.

Listen to all those on the thread who have been there and know what they are talking about.

Please don't be coming back with the same problem in 10 years time when you have had two children with this man.

Even if you split up though, you might not escape it - my ex presented me with a bill at the end of our relationship, including things such as £1 a week for my share of the £1.70 Saturday newspaper - my share was higher because he never read the glossy supplement or the gardening section whilst I did ...

[Shock] chevis: did you pay him?

I mean

The problem is with a man like that is he'll inevitably drag you down to his level of downright meanness. I had a DP (now very EX) like this and it was so wearing to be constantly told things like I owed him 2p (yes, this is a real example) from the food shopping as I'd only given him £20 and the total was £40.04. He used to do the "your round" thing too, and go on in public if I "owed" him money (never more than a few pence) yet he felt it was fine to underpay his share of household bills that were in my name. I used to end up responding to the "your round" or "you owe me ?p" in public comments by reminding him of the £20 her still owed for TV licence or phone bill, then I'd feel embarrassed that he's drawn me down to his level, and that people around us were laughing at the pitiable situation.

He also tried to make me pay his bus fare to the Family Planning Clinic when I went to get the Morning After Pill as he said:
a) he was going with me to make sure I got the pill - he was convinced that he was such a prime specimen of manhood that I was trying to trap him
b) it was my fault the condom broke as I hadn't given him my share of condom money in advance so he only had enough to buy a cheaper brand (chemist's own brand instead of Durex if I remember correctly - still had British Kitemark so were proper condoms)

I refused to pay the fare and dumped him on the spot. He still followed me to Family Planning Clinic though and I took the first morning after pill in front of him with a comment along the lines of "having a child with you is my worst nightmare as it would mean I'd never be rid of such a tightarse, crap in bed mummy's boy!"

Unfortunately I then had to try to ignore him for three months as we still had three months on the house contract and I couldn't afford to pay rent there and elsewhere.

DUMP HIM NOW

Go out for an expensive meal. If you see he can't concentrate on anything else and looks like he is concentrating on working the cost out in his head the whole time, dump him.