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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have been more annoyed at DP than the couple ripping the piss out of us?

195 replies

GNationalSucks · 14/04/2012 18:43

This issue spreads throughtout the entire day so bear with me please.

DP and I had been very busy all day and hadn't had time to eat. We were driving past a McDonalds and I asked him if he fancied grabbing a burger. He agreed. We go through the drive-thru and I ask for a big mac meal and DP says he wants a chicken sandwich meal which costs £2.19. I order both and DP says "I'll sort out what I owe you when we get back to your house". I was like " Hmm don't worry about it, I'm buying". He didn't respond which I thought was rather rude but anyway!!

Later in the day we're in Asda and I have a conveyor belt of stuff heading to the cashier. DP puts a few things on the end of it, hands me a £5 note and says "that's for the stuff, you owe me 50p". Shock I laugh assuming he's joking, turns out he isn't - I look at the stuff he's got and it can't cost more than £3 so I ask "why 50p?? that stuff doesn't come to £4.50" and he says "no, its to cover my side of the Mcdonalds earlier." At this point I see the couple in front of us catch each other's eyes and smirk without saying a word. It's obvious they were laughing at us.

I said "I bought the lunch, I told you at the time" so he says "oh did you?? oh right!! cool, well you owe me more than 50p then! (Shock) here let me work this out ... " the cashier then smirks and the man in front shakes his head. All 3 of them are ripping the piss out of us. I snap "Just sort it out later for gods sake".

We had a row about it when we got back to the car. I feel he showed us up and he does this a lot. When we got out for "2 meals for £10" things he'll try and work out exactly how much I need to contribute in front of the waitress. He's done it on buses, pubs, everything. One time we were in a bar and I'd bought the last round. We went to the bar and looked expectantly at him and he said quite aggressively "oh no! it's YOUR round!". que - a group of blokes start laughing at him. I calmly point out "err no, it isn't" to which he replies "Of course it is!!" when he realises his mistake he points out that as I drank a coke on my last round I should make up the difference or some shite that I didn't fully understand at the time.

Anyway, past issues aside, was I being unreasonable to be more annoyed at him making a laughing stock of us in asda than be annoyed at the people laughing?

OP posts:
minimisschief · 14/04/2012 19:29

you both sound bizzare. its like those arguments you see female friends have when money is owed.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 14/04/2012 19:29

Yes. Dump him by the force of He-man or whatever the expression was. Imagine yourself on maternity leave and him being the main earner. You'll walk barefoot and have to scrap the last of you smp to buy nappies cause he'll say you sit at home and dont bring any money in. There have been threads like that.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 14/04/2012 19:30

MrMiyagi - do you just sit in wait?

OP - 9 months. Just get out now. Really. This has no future.

Springforward · 14/04/2012 19:31

Blimey - that's tight.

Stinginess is such an unnattractive quality....

bobbledunk · 14/04/2012 19:32

Either dump him or have a serious talk and make clear that he is never to mention money again in public, if he does he will be dumped.

issimma · 14/04/2012 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsWeatherwax · 14/04/2012 19:33

This will only get worse. I always think men tight with money will be selfish in bed too, so I tend to avoid having sex with them.

RandomMess · 14/04/2012 19:34

issimma Shock

Helltotheno · 14/04/2012 19:35

I always think being habitually embarassed by someone in public, even if they're just being themselves and it's not really their fault, is the beginning of the end. No relationship like that has ever worked out for me...

He's not The One OP. He might be somebody's One but not yours, so do yourself a favour and find someone you can tolerate.

bringbacksideburns · 14/04/2012 19:35

It will only get worse.

Run. Run for the hills.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 14/04/2012 19:35

issima Shock

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 14/04/2012 19:40

Halves on the condoms? I don't even know where to start with that bearing in mind the comment from AKiss above.

starfishmummy · 14/04/2012 19:42

I think that when yuou and he go anywhere then you should have a notebook to write down the costs, who has paid and who owes who what, it would save all the arguments............

(I think I am joking Grin but then again...GrinGrin)

LapOfTheGods · 14/04/2012 19:42

Maybe it is an obsession or OCD thing for him...try talking to him about it.

everlong · 14/04/2012 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

balia · 14/04/2012 19:46

If it is a minor irritation, like kidding around, or even a kind of habit then you could work through it. Like DH and I used to go supermarket shopping and we would get to the till and the cashier would give the total and he'd go 'How much?' in tones of disbelief. Every. Fucking. Time. It was the raised eyebrows and unbelieving headshake that used to bring me to the brink of homicide.

But if he is genuinely tight then yeah, run a mile.

It does sound, though, like you BOTH keep count in a way that is a bit weird? It's just you do it in pounds and he does it in pence.

IDontWantToBeFatAnymore · 14/04/2012 19:46

I haven't read all the thread yet but can't help wondering if he keeps track of how many orgasms you have both had......On no, that probably doesn't happen as men are pretty much guaranteed a climax during sex, and women, aren't always. if you are with this dickhead.

TheMonster · 14/04/2012 19:48

If you find him so embarrassing why on earth are you with him?

TheNightIsDarkAndFullOfTerrors · 14/04/2012 19:49

He sounds like someone I dated once. I can still picture him counting out coopers to pay for his round as I left in a cab...

Cherriesarelovely · 14/04/2012 19:50

Oh god, this is awful. I did have an ex who was slightly inclined to this sort of behaviour. I vividly remember us having a MASSIVE row in Barcelona about a bottle of water that she said I owed her for! So happy she is an ex! No YANBU of course you are not.

TheNightIsDarkAndFullOfTerrors · 14/04/2012 19:50

Coppers even! The twat.

Whatmeworry · 14/04/2012 19:52

In my experience people who are tight with money are stingy in all sorts of other ways. Time for a quick exit OP.

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 14/04/2012 19:52

Sorry another who thinks you are not suited, set him free to find someone who holds tge same values, you can always find someone else to fix you fence.

FashionEaster · 14/04/2012 19:56

9 months in, have you explained how socially embarrassing this is?

WipsGlitter · 14/04/2012 19:56

Hmmmmm. I think people are being a bit harsh. Youve not been together that long so I'd still have been a but his/mine at that stage; do you have a joint bank account? Dies he come from a background where there wasn't much money? I think you are more worried about what other people think than him. Getting a bargain isn't anything to be ashamed of.

DP is very, very careful about money. I'm not, it works out.