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Original poster

To have been more annoyed at DP than the couple ripping the piss out of us?

195 replies

GNationalSucks · 14/04/2012 18:43

This issue spreads throughtout the entire day so bear with me please.

DP and I had been very busy all day and hadn't had time to eat. We were driving past a McDonalds and I asked him if he fancied grabbing a burger. He agreed. We go through the drive-thru and I ask for a big mac meal and DP says he wants a chicken sandwich meal which costs £2.19. I order both and DP says "I'll sort out what I owe you when we get back to your house". I was like " Hmm don't worry about it, I'm buying". He didn't respond which I thought was rather rude but anyway!!

Later in the day we're in Asda and I have a conveyor belt of stuff heading to the cashier. DP puts a few things on the end of it, hands me a £5 note and says "that's for the stuff, you owe me 50p". Shock I laugh assuming he's joking, turns out he isn't - I look at the stuff he's got and it can't cost more than £3 so I ask "why 50p?? that stuff doesn't come to £4.50" and he says "no, its to cover my side of the Mcdonalds earlier." At this point I see the couple in front of us catch each other's eyes and smirk without saying a word. It's obvious they were laughing at us.

I said "I bought the lunch, I told you at the time" so he says "oh did you?? oh right!! cool, well you owe me more than 50p then! (Shock) here let me work this out ... " the cashier then smirks and the man in front shakes his head. All 3 of them are ripping the piss out of us. I snap "Just sort it out later for gods sake".

We had a row about it when we got back to the car. I feel he showed us up and he does this a lot. When we got out for "2 meals for £10" things he'll try and work out exactly how much I need to contribute in front of the waitress. He's done it on buses, pubs, everything. One time we were in a bar and I'd bought the last round. We went to the bar and looked expectantly at him and he said quite aggressively "oh no! it's YOUR round!". que - a group of blokes start laughing at him. I calmly point out "err no, it isn't" to which he replies "Of course it is!!" when he realises his mistake he points out that as I drank a coke on my last round I should make up the difference or some shite that I didn't fully understand at the time.

Anyway, past issues aside, was I being unreasonable to be more annoyed at him making a laughing stock of us in asda than be annoyed at the people laughing?

OP posts:
JustHecate · 14/04/2012 19:57

someone who wants you to pay your half of a postage stamp is not someone it's worth finding the good in.

Honestly.

RichTeaAreCrap · 14/04/2012 19:58

You go halves on the condoms? Shock

I have no idea what you are doing with this man. It will get worse. Imagine if you lived with him what he would be like with money. I find people who are like this with money very ugly.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 14/04/2012 19:59

Jesus Christ, that man is a fuckwit bar none!

OP, he quibbles over pennies and you are embarrassed by him in public. Leave him - if you don't you will regret it.

There are actually LOVELY men who can help you with insurance and buy you stuff at car boots and put up fences, etc who will NOT embarrass you and who will not expect you to pay for half a condom. Jaw dropping, this is. Speaking of which, if there is oral sex involved, does he have a timer? Does he work out whose "turn" it is??

mrspnut · 14/04/2012 20:04

OH has a few friends that are like this and it has got to the stage where we avoid going out with them. It is ok when we go to stay at their house and we take food/wine with us but when we go out they nitpick about the last penny.
It gets to ridiculous lengths like wanting to buy rounds but when it gets to their go they want to move to the Wetherspoons beause it's cheaper or they drink water all night with a face like a bag of spanners.

My life is too short and I can't be doing with people who aren't able to see the give and take.
I'd get rid, people who are penny pinchers spread that through their whole life not just the money part.

TotemPole · 14/04/2012 20:08

Why is is ok for him to buy you stuff from car boots but not discuss what he's bought for himself?

LydiaWickham · 14/04/2012 20:17

wait, he wants to have sex with you, but then quibbles about paying for the condoms? Really? Really? That there would mean I'd never have sex with him.

There is a big difference between being 'careful with money' and 'tight'. He is being 'tight'. Very few people are just tight with money, he might be being 'nice' now in the honeymoon period, but he'll start being emotionally tight too.

Get those running shoes on now love.

wellilikemythinking · 14/04/2012 20:18

Really this is the honeymoon period and is'nt this when you want to 'treat' your DP? Show your good side?

When/if kids come along it's not so easy to split money and you will fall out over it or simmer with resentment...have you told him how it makes you feel? Have you mentioned it to his friends or family or have they mentioned it to you you know in a jokey way that friends do to new partners? Just wondering if he is known for it or if it's just a new phase.

SodoffBaldrick · 14/04/2012 20:21

It does sound like you're a bit like him; just that you quibble over ever-so-slightly larger amounts, and you have the wherewithal not to do the quibbling in ear-shot of others. Presumably because you know it's ridiculous. Which it is.

I mean, you need change from £7...? Really? I can see why he thinks he has carte blanche to penny-pinch if, really, you're doing the same thing.

The whole thing sounds ghastly. Seriously - can you imagine even a month of maternity leave when you're earning nothing with this man, let alone a longer amount of time?

Dump him.

Bogeyface · 14/04/2012 20:22

I know someone who would weigh out portions of food, to make sure that his (now ex!) GF didnt have more than him. Funny that he was never that bothered when he had more than her.....

Its true what others have said, mean about money can lead to meanness in other areas. The GF admitted afterwards that their sex life was shit because it was all about him. Ringing any bells OP?

fedupofnamechanging · 14/04/2012 20:24

There are some faults in a person that you can live with and some that you absolutely cannot. This is driving you mad - you feel embarrassed by him and you are only 9 months in.

I agree with the poster who said to imagine life in a few years time - being on maternity leave and utterly dependent on him for money. Your life would be miserable.

You two are just not compatible.

GoGoBananas · 14/04/2012 20:25

Dump him. Return his belongings along with a cheque for 50p.

WandaDoff · 14/04/2012 20:29

I have an ex rather like this. Note the ex.

Bitofastate · 14/04/2012 20:30

You go halves on the condoms???????? Erm, his cock, his sperm - he can pay Grin

I just can't imagine paying towards condoms, all the men I've dated have been so pathetically grateful for a shag they'd never have thought about asking to go halves Grin

twoistwiceasfun · 14/04/2012 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand78 · 14/04/2012 20:36

Oh dear. I would get out now. He sounds nice with the fences and crap like that, but bloody hell that's the kind of thing your dad would do.

If the best thing you can thinki about him is that he drives you about, fixes your fences and helps you sort your insurance out, well...it doesn't bode well.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2012 20:37

My DH had a friend and the group all used to go out to eat at the same place every week. Months in, their favorite waitress told them that he was using their tips as his share and she hadn't had a tip for months. She was really embarrassed. They confronted him and he is no longer a friend. You can be careful without being mean.

Seabright · 14/04/2012 20:41

Another one with an ex like this. If he owed me money, he'd offer an old CD he'd gone off instead of money.

He's old history now. And still single, I believe.

topshelfrita · 14/04/2012 20:41

This kind of meanness eventually saps all the joy out of life. Just soul-destroying.

CrumpettyTree · 14/04/2012 20:41

Oh my God. That would be a dealbreaker for me. How unattractive! I had an ex like that. I should have seen the warning signs when a couple of dates in he was buying a mars bar and i went to buy myself one too and took it up to the till and he gave me a dirty look because he thought i was trying to add it to his to get him to pay for it. I wasn't. I was planning to buy it myself. Thankfully he is an ex!!

manicbmc · 14/04/2012 20:44

Quibbling over money at this stage is never a good sign.

Run, run for the hills/bank/anywhere.

LeQueen · 14/04/2012 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lashingsofbingeinghere · 14/04/2012 20:49

OP, your TP (tight partner) has an overdeveloped sense of "fairness".

In his mind, why wouldn't you split everything 50/50?

He needs to find someone who has the same overdeveloped "fairness" trait so he can bond with them over meticulous spreadsheets and neat piles of receipts.

I may be wildly wrong, but you don't sound like that sort of someone. HTH.

GilbertandGeorge · 14/04/2012 20:50

There is nothing, nothing more unattractive that parsimony.

Run OP. Run for the hills.

BuckBuckMcFate · 14/04/2012 20:58

I've posted this before but worth saying again on a thread like this.

I was living with my ex and he earned 2x as much as me. He tried to tell me that as I worked reduced hours, to fit in school drop off and pick up, I should pay more towards the electricity, water and gas bills as I spent more time in the house than him. Hmm

OP, get out while you can!

Cabrinha · 14/04/2012 20:58

Well, I'm not sure others in Asda were ripping the piss - as likely to be nervous embarrassment!

I'm going to disagree with the majority on condom cost sharing. I think that's perfectly reasonable. I doubt I'd divvy up every purchase - more likely have my own stash and it comes out about even.
I wonder if there was a charge for the pill, would people expect their partner to pay half?

BUT... on all other things - he's not a keeper. Life is too short for half a postage stamp!