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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have been more annoyed at DP than the couple ripping the piss out of us?

195 replies

GNationalSucks · 14/04/2012 18:43

This issue spreads throughtout the entire day so bear with me please.

DP and I had been very busy all day and hadn't had time to eat. We were driving past a McDonalds and I asked him if he fancied grabbing a burger. He agreed. We go through the drive-thru and I ask for a big mac meal and DP says he wants a chicken sandwich meal which costs £2.19. I order both and DP says "I'll sort out what I owe you when we get back to your house". I was like " Hmm don't worry about it, I'm buying". He didn't respond which I thought was rather rude but anyway!!

Later in the day we're in Asda and I have a conveyor belt of stuff heading to the cashier. DP puts a few things on the end of it, hands me a £5 note and says "that's for the stuff, you owe me 50p". Shock I laugh assuming he's joking, turns out he isn't - I look at the stuff he's got and it can't cost more than £3 so I ask "why 50p?? that stuff doesn't come to £4.50" and he says "no, its to cover my side of the Mcdonalds earlier." At this point I see the couple in front of us catch each other's eyes and smirk without saying a word. It's obvious they were laughing at us.

I said "I bought the lunch, I told you at the time" so he says "oh did you?? oh right!! cool, well you owe me more than 50p then! (Shock) here let me work this out ... " the cashier then smirks and the man in front shakes his head. All 3 of them are ripping the piss out of us. I snap "Just sort it out later for gods sake".

We had a row about it when we got back to the car. I feel he showed us up and he does this a lot. When we got out for "2 meals for £10" things he'll try and work out exactly how much I need to contribute in front of the waitress. He's done it on buses, pubs, everything. One time we were in a bar and I'd bought the last round. We went to the bar and looked expectantly at him and he said quite aggressively "oh no! it's YOUR round!". que - a group of blokes start laughing at him. I calmly point out "err no, it isn't" to which he replies "Of course it is!!" when he realises his mistake he points out that as I drank a coke on my last round I should make up the difference or some shite that I didn't fully understand at the time.

Anyway, past issues aside, was I being unreasonable to be more annoyed at him making a laughing stock of us in asda than be annoyed at the people laughing?

OP posts:
sue52 · 14/04/2012 18:55

Unless he's a poor broke student on a tight budget who is financially stretched to breaking point, ditch him now. There are better out there.

GNationalSucks · 14/04/2012 18:58

Been together about 9 months. I have had it out with him before but he always says I'm the same, I know I'm not!

OP posts:
OddBoots · 14/04/2012 18:58

Can you cope with his behaviour for the next 10, 20, 30+ years?

JustHecate · 14/04/2012 18:58

yuk. meanness is so unattractive.

I know a bloke like that. He wouldn't spare you a crust of bread if you were starving. He keeps track of everything. If he does something for you, you "owe me one" - and he WILL collect.

He wonders why he has such bad luck with women. Why he can't sustain a relationship. Why all women leave him.

One day I'll tell him.

catsareevil · 14/04/2012 18:58

Is he generally mean or just having some sort of fixation on money being split equally?

JustHecate · 14/04/2012 18:59

actually, this guy sounds like him

his name doesn't start with an S, by any chance Grin

ENormaSnob · 14/04/2012 19:00

Ye gods.

Please tell us you don't actually shag this man?

akaemmafrost · 14/04/2012 19:00

Dump him immediately.

I would have turned my back and been out the door the very first time he did this. Any attraction I had would have disappeared.

PotteringAlong · 14/04/2012 19:01

Please don't marry this man. I promise you; no good will come of it...

fuzzpig · 14/04/2012 19:01

I'm all for budgeting but sheesh, it shouldn't be like that in a relationship FFS. As others have said - deeply unattractive.

What's good about him?

AKissIsNotAContract · 14/04/2012 19:01

Hecate: Do him a favour, tell him now!

fuzzpig · 14/04/2012 19:02

Yes, and then post his reaction on here please Hec :o

SauvignonBlanche · 14/04/2012 19:03
Wink
madhousewife · 14/04/2012 19:05

I had a flatmate like this. I remember her writing a list of money I owed her - it was for half the price of the stamp she bought to post the bill, (before the online or direct payment options obviously.) I remember incredulously handing over the 12p or whatever it was.

Stingy people suck.

MistyMountainHop · 14/04/2012 19:06
Shock

omg

exH was like this. its one of the many reasons he's xh

urgh. hate meanness.

tight bastard. sorry.

AKissIsNotAContract · 14/04/2012 19:06

'You had two orgasms and I only had one, therefore you have to pay 2/3 towards that condom and I'll just pay 1/3'

Seriously OP, get out now.

alexflower · 14/04/2012 19:07

How long have you known him? Just asking as is there any chance this could be due to autism or something similar. Have lots of autistic and asperger's adults in my family and this sounds very familiar!

If not he just sounds stingy and embarassing!

LindyHemming · 14/04/2012 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paulapantsdown · 14/04/2012 19:07

run, run, run for the hills and don't look back Smile

seriously, this guy is a total loser
meanness is the worst personality trait, mean with money, mean with love
DITCH HIM NOW

JustHecate · 14/04/2012 19:08

I would, but I think ringing him up out of the blue and saying "nobody will ever love you because you're tighter than a gnat's chuff" might be a bit mean Grin

DucketyDuckDuck · 14/04/2012 19:09

Oh. my. gawd. Nooooooo. Get away from him. It will only get worse.

My ex SIL whopped a gert big calculator out of her handbag and went through the bill item by item, drink by drink. That was the first and last time we went out with them.....

This is what you have to look forward to.

besmirchedandbewildered · 14/04/2012 19:09

Aspergers?

Disclaimer: I know fuck all about Aspergers but this sort of thing sounds familiar and I don't like the guy getting such a hammering!

BabsJansen · 14/04/2012 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GNationalSucks · 14/04/2012 19:12

Yes Hecate, he does start with an S!!

He's just generally embarrassing. For instance we'll be sat next to a table of trendy fit bloke and he'll say quite loudly "guess what I got at the car boot this morning!! jeans for £3 a pair!! and they've hardly been worn! I got two pairs, I thought one pair could be kept for best! oh I also bought some Diesel trainers for £8!! are Diesel a name? are they in fashion? hey I wonder if I could flog them on ebay and make money off them!?" and you can just see the guys on the other tables laughing.

I know it shouldn't bother me but it does. Its embarrassing and belittling. I'm only 30, he's 39 but acts like a 70 year old. Other guys my age laugh at him/us.

OP posts:
JustHecate · 14/04/2012 19:12

My children both have autism and it gets pretty wearing, depressing, insulting and upsetting when all mean, bad, insulting or abusive behaviour is followed by "could they be autistic".