AIBU re taking stepson on holiday

[Fedupateaster]

We have 2 DC's together and DH has a son. He is 14 (nearly 15). He has always been involved in our life and we see him a lot. Probably a lot less these last few years as he prefers to be out with friends. Relations with his Mum are good and all in all (comparing to some friend and what I read on here) we all get along very well. DH is a great Dad to all 3 children.

We have always taken DSS on holiday with us when we have been lucky to go. However this year we just can't afford for 5 of us to go. We can afford for 4 of us. Those of you with 3 or more children will know how much more expensive it is to take more than the standard 2 adults and 2 children.

So, our dilemma is. Do we go without him, knowing that he may not have a holiday this year. (don't know if it is relevant but he went last year with his Mum). Or do we not go at all, so no one gets a holiday?

I do realise that we are lucky to afford a holiday at all. DH works very hard to support us all and we do go without other things to afford a holiday?

DH is torn. He loves DSS so much and can't bear leaving him out, but doesn't want his other DCs to miss out.

Would you leave one of your children behind? Cos that's what you're asking your OH to do!

losing - that would be true if the DC in question lived with the family F/T, but given that the father in question has not played a fulltime role in his DS life, then a totally different set of variables come into play.

A NRP is, on the one hand, expected to accept their P/T role in their DC's life and not interfere or demand too much of the RP or DC's, but on the other hand you are saying that they are not expected to live their own lives independent of that DC, in case the DC gets upset and feels left out.

Not all NRP are NR by choice - and therefore, asking them to be sidelined in their DC's lives while suspending their own life even when they can't spend time with their DC's, is a very big ask.

as said below, yes I would leave one of my children behind, when they get to 14/16, then they suddenly become classed as adults, so that means you often need 2 rooms and a single person supplement.

If they have spent their whole lives going on nice holidays, and it means their younger siblings wont be able to enjoy the same, plus they generally stop wanting togo with younger siblings about this age, it doesnt hurt them to give a sibling a chance.

In addition, its about this time expensive school trips start factoring into the mix as well.

I think it would be a real shame to leave him behind, just because at 15 he won't be wanting to come with you much longer anyway - it could be your last chance :(

Awwww you sound lovely OP.

And so does your family.

Hurrah! Love a happy ending