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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this creepy ?

204 replies

BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 15:55

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up Blush

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little. Blush

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long Blush

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:01

What're you getting angry about there curiosity? Can't make it out.

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 22:04

The OPs continued use of the non-word 'proberly'

Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 22:05

Op's explained she's dyslexic, curiositykitten ...

giraffes · 04/04/2012 22:06

so - op - will you write and apologise to her?

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:08

Tsk, the spelling of probably makes you angry curiosity?

How kind of you to spend, what must be, your precious time putting the OP down.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:09

To curiosity giraffes? Grin

Cheddars · 04/04/2012 22:19

This is one of the weirdest threads I've read in a while. I can't work out whether all the deleted posts are ANGRY at the op, or ANGRY at the misuse of grammar.

It seems like there are a lot of ANGRY people out there. Grin

FWIW OP I don't think you have been unreasonable.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 22:22

Tsk, the spelling of probably makes you angry curiosity?

How kind of you to spend, what must be, your precious time putting the OP down.

I know, it is a hardship, but I feel it's my duty to spend an hour or so each week on those less fortunate/educated.

Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 22:26

Not less educated - dyslexic. Hmm. You're a right charmer.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:27

Didn't you know flogging, people with dyslexia are just Fucking Thick, if you take the right approach you can educate it out of them.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 22:30

Sorry, you must have missed the first part of my first post in the thread where I said I had not read the whole thread i.e. had not read that the OP was dyslexic.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:34

The fact that you hadn't RTFT makes it worse curiosity, why would you fucking do that??

Just to spread random shit and anxst about a bit?

Mmm, we all need more of that.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 22:35

Yes, you have me completely right. That's why I fucking do that. Congratulations.

fatherchewylouis · 04/04/2012 22:38

Yes OP was rude not to reply, but she knows this and has apologised.

I'm just posting here to see whether OP gets a reply really [nosey].

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 22:39

Congratulations on what?

Summing up your 1970/80s teachers attitude to people who aren't top notch at writing?

A damn good dose of humiliation'll sort 'em out.

plutocrap · 04/04/2012 22:58

"I know, it is a hardship, but I feel it's my duty to spend an hour or so each week on those less fortunate/educated."

Your moral education hasn't been up to much. Even uncaring etiquette could have kept you kinder.

bobbledunk · 05/04/2012 01:56

I would think it very weird and if I got those messages from someone. People drift apart, there is no reason to go dramatic on someone because they never got around to replying to you because they are busy with their new life. I would wonder why they take it so personally instead of just shrugging their shoulders and getting on with life. As for telling her daughter that she will never see your son again and making her cry?..Confused..the woman sounds crazy and possessive, she got hysterical over not getting attention from you and made a big drama in front of her daughter which she now wants you to feel guilty aboutHmm.

I think you would be wise to stay away, drama queens can be very draining and perplexing, they live on highly strung emotion and need your attention to feed it, I would let it go and leave her be. Do not engageGrin.

yanbu

Garliccheesechips · 05/04/2012 08:40

Yanbu, you didn't owe her jack shit.

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2012 08:55

Not "owing" her anything doesn't excuse the op's lack of basic manners in refusing to reply, and then deleting her from Facebook without a word. That is very odd behaviour.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 05/04/2012 09:30

Perhaps her DD finds it harder than your DS to make friends, especially as she has moved schools.

She could have been pestering her Mum for a year to bring her to see your DS as they were friends and the Mum has tried hard to make that happen.

That's not your problem, I'm not saying it is. People do grow apart, children especially when they move schools, and if your son is the one who stayed put and easily makes other friends it won't seem so important to you.

But I wouldn't have found the messages weird or creepy or even OTT. I just would have thought she was trying hard to maintain a friendship that was important to her daughter.

I do think you were rude though. You might not have intended to forget about the messages but how hard would it have been to reply on Facebook and say "Sorry, as I said, things have been very busy and I forgot" rather than just delete her without a word.

SoupDreggon · 05/04/2012 09:31

"'you didn't owe her jack shit."

Yes she did - common courtesy and good manners.

fluffyanimal · 05/04/2012 10:16

Crumbs, is this still going? And people still thinking this is a new branch of pedant's corner?

OP, glad you took my advice, and I'd love to know if you get a reply. Well done for being brave enough to apologise.

deliciousdevilwoman · 05/04/2012 10:46

OP-You did the right thing in apologising, and I am sure you have learned a salutary lesson.....you hoped it (her requests to meet) would die on the vine if you ignored, but it just made her more determined! I am sure you will handle similar situations differently in the future, but I get that you didn't know what to say-that you didn't know how to say "I am not interested" kindly etc.

IMO-I think her behaviour was more inappropriate than yours, tbh. To keep that level of bombardment up-your behaviour was not nice, but most people would get the hint and let it go-and to keep it up for almost a year-notwithstanding, using emotional blackmail about the DD's "devastation"-it's bizarre, needy and more than a tad manipulative.

kickingKcurlyC · 05/04/2012 11:03

I think you were quite rude myself, and lacking in empathy for the child who had moved to a new area.