Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this creepy ?

204 replies

BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 15:55

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up Blush

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little. Blush

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long Blush

OP posts:
captainmummy · 04/04/2012 16:37

You're getting a hard time Baffled - but the answer is no, it's not creepy. You did what many people do, and tried to let it die a natural death. She didn't take the hint, and you didn't do what everyone on here would do in the same situation Hmm and tell her forthright.

I don't think i would either, not in RL. I'd prob say wome weasel-words and wriggle out until she'd givenup.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:39

ok thank you floggingmolly

Very mature girlwithallamatattoo

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 16:39

Why are you looking for ideas for replying to her last message? I thought you'd deleted her from Facebook? Confused.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:39

artex what you mean?

OP posts:
bunniesheave · 04/04/2012 16:40

Yup - her kid was probably hassling her to meet up and she was trying to set it up. you blanked her.

She's not creepy, her messages weren't creepy. You were a bit off.

squoosh · 04/04/2012 16:40

Y are definitely BVU

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:41

that is exactly what I was trying to to captain

OP posts:
ArtexMonkey · 04/04/2012 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harrietlichman · 04/04/2012 16:41

I think you are getting a bit of a hard time OP - yes, you could have been more direct and just said 'no thanks' but if someone doesn't get a reply to an invite involving playdates, I think most people would just leave it at that. I doubt it was the child who was bugging the mum, sounds more like she had a bee in her bonnet because you didn't respond. Don't worry about it anymore, done now.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:42

I have flog but my security settings are open so people who are not my friend can still message me, as I sell and swap things on fb to local people.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:45

ok so do you think I should just leave it and not reply to this lastest message harriet ?

I name changed because deep down i knew I had proberly done the wrong thing and would get flamed Blush

OP posts:
olgaga · 04/04/2012 16:45

For goodness sake, this is almost a year on, no firm plans were ever made.

She should have just accepted the fact that you didn't get back to her and your DS has moved on. Kids' friendships come and go, it's really not a big thing.

There's no way a 5 year old child would be "heartbroken" about not seeing someone after that length of time unless the mum had made a huge thing of it.

I agree she sounds very intense, to the point of being fixated about your children meeting up. She is obviously very easily offended and you should be breathing a sigh of relief, not worrying about it.

fluffyanimal · 04/04/2012 16:45

If you want to know how to reply to her last message, you say,

"I'm really sorry I've been so rude by ignoring you. To be honest I felt awkward as my DS is not so bothered to stay in touch with your DD - nothing personal but he just moves on really quickly and is now going through a phase of not wanting to be friends with girls. Sorry not to have said this sooner but I felt embarrassed and couldn't think what to say. Hope there's no hard feelings, take care."

valiumredhead · 04/04/2012 16:45

That would be fine if this was an English exam - good job it's only a chat forum Wink

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:46

well that was proberly cus I am typing so fast to catch up with all the responses im getting, and a mistake, not that is matters Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:48

thank you fluffy if you dont mind I am going to say exactly that as you have what i feel down to a T.

Well said valium

olgaga that is exactly what I thought at the time

OP posts:
harrietlichman · 04/04/2012 16:50

Personally I would leave it at that, and maybe if a situation like this comes up again try and just deal with it straight away so it doesn't escalate - ignore people being rude about your spelling errors - no need for it whatsoever.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/04/2012 16:50

I think you could have replied OP.

I think the woman is OTT and needs to get a bit of a life and her 'heartbroken' comment is passive agressive bollocks.

I would have deleted her too.

BUT to be honest I would have replied before it got to this point.

She sounds a bit of a nightmare and best avoided but there are ways of doing it.

I dont think you deserve the harsher responses.

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong · 04/04/2012 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:52

Have sent her a message saying what you suggested fluffy and hope that that will be the end of it

OP posts:
kitsmummy · 04/04/2012 16:53

She wasn't pushy, she just wanted a straight answer from you so she could confirm one way or the other to her DD about whether she could expect to see your DS. If your child is desperate to know if they're going to see someone again because it means a lot of them it's horrible having to be so vague with them because you don't know if it's going to happen speaks from bitter experience. I'm sure if you'd been straight with her that would have been ok.

It's your mixed messages and downright rudeness which have caused the problem, not the fact that your DS wasn't bothered about seeing her DD.

pictish · 04/04/2012 16:53

What Fluffy said was very good. I agree.

lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 16:56

Sounds to me like her dd was really fond of your ds and I think you were just a bit rude tbh.

I think the other lady perhaps doesn't know when to take a hint but you should have just been straight with her.

And delting her off facebook was just plain ignorant and a cowardly way out.