Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this creepy ?

204 replies

BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 15:55

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up Blush

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little. Blush

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long Blush

OP posts:
captainmummy · 04/04/2012 19:03

wow toofattorun - have you readany of the thread? Or just the 1st few posts? 'Poor little (4/5YO) girl' from a year ago probably just remembers the name of OP's ds, not much else! Disgusting? Apologise Profusely?

Go overboard much?

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corriefan · 04/04/2012 19:05

YABU and why delete her off fb??

PurpleRomanesco · 04/04/2012 19:05

Oh my.

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenEyesAndHam · 04/04/2012 19:15

Not creepy other person

Very ignorant OP

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2012 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2012 19:17

x-posted with you TSC. Sorry you're having a bad week.

bitofcheese · 04/04/2012 19:17

i think it's awkward if a parent wants to make an arrangement but you for whatever reason don't want to ie child doesn't like their kid. if someone says 'oh we must make an arrangement' it isn't exactly easy to say 'sorry, my son doesn't like your son...' etc. generally you might say something like 'yes, at some point' and leave it at that and hope that the mother doesn't chase you up. you don't want to be rude but you don't want to be bullied into making an arrangment either and if you make one you can guarantee the mother will want to make another

captainmummy · 04/04/2012 19:18

well Hai1988 - you've made lots of people's day with this thread!

You know what we want!Grin

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 19:31

S'easily done TSC Grin

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherriesarelovely · 04/04/2012 19:36

OP, having kids means that life is fraught with these difficult, awkward little situations and it's bloody awful isn't it??!!! Some are saying that you ought to have been honest at the outset and told her you didn't really want to keep in touch. Seriously though, who would really do that? "No actually I don't want to keep in touch"!!! You wouldn't would you?!

Ok, you might have been a bit rude to begin with but it IS very hard if someone is desperate to meet up and either you or your child really don't want to.

Anyway, well done for sorting it and apologising.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 19:36

It doesn't happen often (being told to go and swivel) so I'll treasure it TSC Smile

everlong · 04/04/2012 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/04/2012 19:39

I think you were rude OP.
You keep saying you were busy and didn't have the time.
Why didn't you let your friend just know that from the beginning?
And I feel for her DD a bit, early friendships like that can be very intense, and maybe her mum was just trying to let her keep in touch with her old friends, after the move, when she was having to make new friendships at a new school where she didn't know anybody.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 04/04/2012 19:40

You've sent her a message Hai, it's as much you can do at this point.

You can't keep beating yourself up, yes you should have put her right from the off, and perhaps not deleted her (I don't go near fb, is it awful if someone deletes you?).

I agree with MrsD the "heartbroken" is passive-aggressive shite.

MakeMineAChardonnay · 04/04/2012 20:07

Another one here thinking you were being rude and nasty. How was she being creepy?! She was just trying to arrange a playdate for your kids and you kept blanking her - there's no wonder she was just trying to get a definitive answer!
Now if she'd been messaging you AFTER you'd said 'no, sorry, don't want to meet up' then yes, she might have been perceived to be a bit full on/creepy.
Poor so and so was just trying to be friendly. She's better off out of it imo, you don't sound like you were being very friendly/nice at all. Hope she finds some more receptive, approachable friends!

bronze · 04/04/2012 20:09

Wonder if creepys daughter would like to be friends with my lovely ds who struggles to make friends. We were in creepys position except we got the hint and now ds just talks about her dd wistfully and we carry on not having many friends. Certainly none locally.

Toughasoldboots · 04/04/2012 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BsshBossh · 04/04/2012 20:15

YABU. You were rude.

birthdaygurl · 04/04/2012 20:18

You are mean. Feel sorry for her child. Sad

PinkSpottyBag · 04/04/2012 20:28

OP you probably could have handled this a little more directly initially along the lines of, apologies really busy will contact you over the summer holidays/when I get a minute as DS has lots on, but that's the glory of hindsight, what is done is done.

I think the woman needs to start accepting that if her child is 'heartbroken' she needs to be helping said child learn to move on and make other friends and get a grip. Heartbroken? Is she trying to guilt you into meeting up? She sounds needy not creepy.

Reading between the lines do you think she has not settled in the new location? Personally I would have sent a couple of light and breezy messages and if I didn't get a reply moved on and not kept all my egg/friends in one basket so to speak.

Has she actually telephoned you or just hidden behind facebook?

(apologies if this has been covered I have not read the entire thread!)

candr · 04/04/2012 21:54

Well OP, you seem to have put a cat amongst the pigeons. If you are someone that gets nervous of possible confrontation then it is understandable why you did not give honest reply but if you have sent the message suggested earlier then she should be fine. It is not like you have had a falling out with a close mate. Hope you are not feeling down about all the harsh replies, draw a line under it and try to be more up front next time.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 21:59

Not read the whole thread, but FFS it's probably Angry

Swipe left for the next trending thread