Is this creepy ?

[BaffledMuffin]

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little.

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long

hi baby so sorry to hear about ur crappy situation, just to point out tho, this mum didnt seem to want to be my friend just obbsessing over the DC.

Also they didnt move home her DD Just changed schools, to a school closer to them

You are not very direct? Well you were direct enough to defriend the woman from Facebook!

Quite honestly, I think you've been unnecessarily rude and there's nothing creepy about this woman trying to get some simple facts out of you. If you'd actually kept to your word and got back in touch - even if to say that you were sorry, but you didn't think it was going to be practical for the children to meet up - then I very much doubt she'd have bothered you with the subsequent messages.

So yes, YABU. All of this could have been avoided by the use of simple courtesy.

This thread is weird...who is Hai1988?

i am the op I namechanged as I new i was in the wrong and get a flaming but then messed up my putting my origianl N/N in the OP so thought id just come out

OK So I made a mistake who hasnt, but to bring up my up bringing into this thread, well that is just rude.

I have made a mistake and have now apoligised for it!

Not creepy at all, you were being very rude. Why not just tell her that you have been busy

Everlong asked what's Hai1988 earlier on in the thread sootie, but I can't see where that poster posted or where she's talking about.

But she's just posted a bit above you.

Ah, don't worry about it- nobody's perfect.

I presume you'll handle it differently next time, yes?

Oh, dear, babybythesea. I hope you don't think my post unsympathetic to you (though I posted before you did. For what it's worth, I'm in the same situation and do feel as you did, but I also think that it's unreasonable to have a go about it, and gather from your post that you didn't "confront" people either (good choice of word, DinahMoHum), which makes you sound like a friend worth having - sensitive to others and willing to work hard for friendships (even if you had to work too hard ) - rather than a friend one's a bit relieved to be shot of, like the OP's acquaintance.

Hahahaha

Namechange fail OP!

I wasn't badly brought up AwkwardMary, but I don't do everything anyone asks of me just because they think I should.

I choose for myself, and my children sometimes

i mean

Yabu

yep

So, you told her you'd let her know when you were free and then didn't? For months and months?

YABU and very very rude.

plutocrap - no offence taken!
I did leave well alone, yes. Hope I'm not an irritating annoyance who can't take a hint!
I think though I can see why someone might not. If a child changes schools and misses her old friends and is finding it hard to settle, I can see why someone would push and push to try and keep the child in touch with old friends. I know, as an adult, how unsettling it can all be. And I know if my child was feeling like that I'd want to help them by keeping them in touch with people they wanted to see.

She wasn't pushy ...

In the "friend's" position I'd have waited for OP to come back to me after the first approach. If I heard nothing, I wouldn't have texted several times suggesting dates. I think that is certainly pushy.

It's your mixed messages and downright rudeness which have caused the problem

It's a matter of opinion really. I don't think it's rude at all to try your best to be polite. Saying "I'll try to stay in contact" does not mean "yes let's meet up and set a date asap, in fact what about next Tuesday..."

These are not "mixed messages", it's perfectly normal social interaction.

Similarly, not responding can be taken for "downright rudeness" if you are hyper-sensitive and quick to judge other people. Or you might just think "Ok she/her DS obviously aren't desperate to meet, I'll leave it for them to contact us".

Acting like it's the most important thing in the world, talking about heartbreak and blowing it up out of all proportion is just immature, and frankly you could argue that it's bloody rude to keep harassing someone over a playdate for 5 year olds. It's enough to make anyone run a mile.

Fluffy's suggested reply is spot on, except I would have said "Sorry if you think I've been rude..."

Poor little girl probably kept asking her mummy when she could see your child. All she was doing was trying to be a good mother. You however treated her no respect whatsoever. I would text her if i were you and apologise profusely for your disgusting behaviour. The poor woman has probably been racking her brains trying to think of what she did to upset you. Disgusting.

YABU.

toofat: Poor little girl probably kept asking her mummy when she could see your child. All she was doing was trying to be a good mother. You however treated her no respect whatsoever
oh please ...

OP. From what you have said, she was too pushy and you tried to just let it go. She wouldn't take the hint and felt more for your DC than you did for hers. It could have been confusing for her but she was too OTT. Why did she need to confront you?
I don't have high maintenance friends let alone acquaintances. Too much.