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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this creepy ?

204 replies

BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 15:55

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up Blush

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little. Blush

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long Blush

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2012 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ThisIsANickname · 04/04/2012 17:00

I don't care if it's irrelevant or pedantic or if I get flamed or whatever - the terms you are looking for are:
should have
could have
-NOT-
should of

NotInMyDay · 04/04/2012 17:01

Not creepy. Poor wee girl.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 17:01

'I am correcting her so that in future she might us the phrase correctly. Which i am not sure is rude or wrong. I'd rather know. Smile'

As you must know, not everyone likes the same things on MN TSC Smile

Pot and kettle, going on your usual lack of capitals etc? Smile

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2012 17:03

I've reported you, Nickname.

Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 17:03

To be fair, the op's posts are quite hard to read...

CheerfulYank · 04/04/2012 17:04

I think Fluffy's suggestion was good and I'm glad you sent it to the woman.

I don't think she was creepy. Some children are very intense in their friendships and the little girl probably genuinely missed your DS very much.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 17:04

Not the place for it ThisIs, if you want to get anal about stuff to boost your self esteem go to pedants' corner.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2012 17:04

Then struggle on - or simply don't read them. Really not a difficult choice.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 17:06

should i just lock myself away from the world more so than i attually do because I am not as intellectual as the rest of you.

my apoliagies

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 17:06

Why Lying? Confused

ThisIsANickname · 04/04/2012 17:06

Fine. But I still feel better having said it.

HeartsJandJ · 04/04/2012 17:08

OP you did do something a bit hurtful in the first place but good work being big enough to face up to it and try to sort it out.

Also congrats on provoking a full on bun fight!

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 17:09

didnt mean to start a fight Blush

But when there is no need to bring in my crap writing skills if you cant read them, then im sorry just dont read it

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

RevoltingPeasant · 04/04/2012 17:10

OP everyone does crappy stuff like this sometimes.

We have all ignored voicemails, not replied to emails, not gone over to speak to someone we know in public because we can't be arsed and real life gets in the way and we'd rather being doing something else.

Anyone who pretends they have never, ever done this is lying or has no life.

However, it is rude, and fluffy 's suggestion was really good. Glad you sent something like that.

I used to be really pants like this, and now have a rule of replying to social voicemails/ emails when I get them so that I don't let things linger. Also only have one email address and don't do FB so I don't have multiple things to check. Maybe if this happens often you should streamline a bit?

everlong · 04/04/2012 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 17:14

what do you mean by make amends?
I have apoligsed for the way I reacted, but do not wish to make further contact

OP posts:
everlong · 04/04/2012 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plutocrap · 04/04/2012 17:19

Her last message was a bit crazed, IMO.

I'm on the other side of this: DS made a friend (which he doesn't do easily), and then we moved. We met up once for soft play, and I really got on with the mother. However, they've flaked out of 2 arrangements since then (I had to chase up for the "no"s they had known about for a while), so I'm not trying again, and I never remind DS about him, as I don't want him to be upset (as he might be if I kept him "hung up" on this).

I've accepted the implied rebuff (to both of us) and am managing DS's expectation, instead of hyping us both up, as this woman seems to be doing.

I'm afraid she might deserve a much less gentle response than the very kind formula offered by fluffy.

As for those having a go about grammar, may I just say that I am a pedant myself, but consider it very rude to moan except to other pedants. However, I suppose some of you are performing the same kind of "forthright" rejection as you would have had the OP do! Yet a bit of discretion can be kind, in both situations!

MrsCampbellBlack · 04/04/2012 17:20

Gosh lots of bad manners on this thread.

OP - you should have replied and if necessary made up a reason why your son couldn't make a playdate.

The other mum was a bit ott.

And really its poor manners to correct another adults spellings/misuse of words unless they specifically ask for it.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 17:23

think I should of worded the OP title differently tbh, it should of been is this OTT not creepy

OP posts:
DinahMoHum · 04/04/2012 17:28

i dont think its creepy, but a bit confrontational. I think you were rude though, and it says more about you than about her.

FWIW my 11 year old still occasionally asks me if we can find and meet up with a boy he used to go to nursery with when he was 3

Scholes34 · 04/04/2012 17:28

I just don't understand why people don't speak to each other. Would avoid a lot of problems.

I use e-mail a lot at work and agonise over wording. We're talking short, quick messages here between OP and 'creepy' friend, so no doubt some messages have been misinterpreted.

babybythesea · 04/04/2012 17:36

I haven't read the whole thread - sorry.

But I wanted to put another pov.

I moved when my dd was 18 months. I went to a new area where I knew no-one. I tried very hard to keep in touch with old friends because I was bloody lonely, with a DP working silly hours and no-one closer than 2.5 hours away to spend time with.

I sort of had this problem in reverse - I would go to toddler groups, offer to meet up because the kids seemed to enjoy each other's company. It would all be 'Oh yes, we should.' I'd send texts, or emails, and get sod all back. Do you persist? Was I stalking? Should I get the hint? I know everyone is busy with their existing friends and not everyone goes to toddler groups looking for mates for life, but still.

I have taken hints, and left it, and have now started to slowly gather decent friends. But it has taken two years and I have never felt so sodding isolated.

Maybe she tried to keep in touch because her dd missed old friends and was having trouble settling, or maybe she was? (Depends on how far she moved, if she had to move schools etc). It's ok if you are the one still living your old life but it can be s* to suddenly find yourself on your own trying to find loadds of exciting things to do for you and your child. Maybe the child wasn't 'more dependent' at the time, but since moving away was looking for things she remembered.