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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this creepy ?

204 replies

BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 15:55

Hi just had a message on fb from a mum of a child that used to be in DS's class untill she moved schools.

They were in reception together but when they went up to year 1 she moved schools.

I said i would try and stay in contact b4 she left but you know how things go sometimes its just not plausable.

Well anyway back in ocotber this mum messaged me and said that her DD had been bugger her about meeting up with my DS i replyed to that message saying that yeah could meet up at some point just been crazy busy atm and left it at that, then que a string of messages asking weather this day or that day would be ok and i just replyed that yes will let her know when we are free.

Well if im honest I did forget about these messages and with DS busy with other friends and not mentioning this friend I forgot out arranging a meet up Blush

Then last month I got this message and if im honest i got a bit freaked out by it as we are talking about then 5 year olds and thought this was a bit strong and a werid message to send

"hi hai1988 is there a reason you seem to be ignoring me or am i imagining things? if you dont want the kids to meet up again then please let me no so i can explain to DD. she wants to see DS but i dont know what to tell her at the moment. can you please just let me no if meeting ever will be possible.

As I said i thought the message was a bit strange and i know i shouldnt of but i just left it and deleted her of fb as it freaked me out a little. Blush

Then today I get this message : Well i've explained to DD that she can't see him any more. I don't understand it but i'm sure u have ur reasons. She is heart broken but at least she knows.

Am I the only one who thinks she is taking there short and not that close friendship very seriously and should get a grip.

Sorry its so long Blush

OP posts:
ElephantsAreMadeOfElements · 04/04/2012 16:23

OP's son doesn't have to meet up with the girl, no. But saying that he will, then ignoring all messages, then deleting the mother from FB without comment when she says "look, is there a reason you're ignoring my messages?" is RUDE.

And complaining that someone "can't take a hint" to turn that rudeness around and make it somehow their fault that you were rude, and their fault that they were upset by your rudeness, is mind-buggeringly self-centered.

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 04/04/2012 16:24

TSC Grin

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 16:24

Well if she did TSC, maybe she should have stopped?

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:24

I know I have proberly handled this all wrong and should of just come out with it, but as I said im crap at being direct with people Blush

currently having problems with DS teacher in which she is taking so long to do some forms and its taking soo long because i am not being direct with her.

The reason I shyed away from these messages is proberly because she was so direct I didnt know how to react to just didint Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:26

Think I will lyingwitch

OP posts:
RoloTamasi · 04/04/2012 16:26

This reply has been deleted

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valiumredhead · 04/04/2012 16:26

But she wasn't direct - she behaved completely normally Confused

ArtexMonkey · 04/04/2012 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 04/04/2012 16:27

And really TSC, correcting a posters grammar like a teacher? Why try to put someone down like that? Do you need to make yourself feel better or something?

everlong · 04/04/2012 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MunroMagic · 04/04/2012 16:29

I don't think she was being creepy at all - you shouldn't have agreed to meet up if you didn't intend to. You have been really rude to her and it's no wonder she reacted the way she did.

LittleWhiteWolf · 04/04/2012 16:29

Hmm, the last message was a little over the top, however she was probably at the end of her tether. I think leading up to that you were very rude. You should have admitted that you had other things on your mind and that you had forgotten, apologised, then made a date and stuck to it IMO.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:30

Hope you feel good about correcting the grammer or spelling of someone with dyslexia.

I didnt say that DS didnt want to see her DD and I didnt think that was the point of my OP

I just wanted people opinions on her messages

OP posts:
AdornMeWithSparkle · 04/04/2012 16:30

I also wouldn't underestimate the memory or a 5 year old.
My DD is only just 4 and certainly remembers her friends from a year ago from before we moved.
She also had some friends move from the nursery she is in now not long after she joined and the mum said we should stay in touch. Being new here, I was delighted and I did feel a bit knocked back when I didn't get a reply to my first message about meeting up...I didn't pursue it but then I met the mum and it all got sorted out.
I do think it was rude of you not to just say "look, we're really busy now and I don't see us finding the time to squeeze this in, sorry" and I don't think she was creepy to keep following as it could well be her DD kept asking about it.

However, I also do get how sometimes it feels easier to let these things slide rather than reply directly. I think, in your place, I would have said somethng direct after a few messages.

pictish · 04/04/2012 16:30

ywu

everlong · 04/04/2012 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 04/04/2012 16:33

She sent the messages because you were rudely blanking her!
I know it would have been easier for you if she had just crawled back under her rock, but she took you at your word and persued a meet up.

elvisaintdead · 04/04/2012 16:33

I think you were rude and petty not to just say in the first place that DS has moved on or make a proper excuse instead of being vague and leading them on. The DD is obviously upset and if someone had been so blase about one of my LO's feelings I would have been pretty annoyed too. You had plenty of opportunities to decline the invite and deleting her off facebook for questioning your lack of response makes you sound about 12 years old!

IMO yours is the creepy response - I just don't get why you would act so oddly, keep leading someone on and then not confirming anything rather than just saying no in the first place.

Original poster
BaffledMuffin · 04/04/2012 16:34

All my reaction was, was gobsmacked and I really dont know how to reply to that last message and ideas?

OP posts:
DodieSmith · 04/04/2012 16:35

Surely saying 'should of' instead of 'should have' isn't down to dyslexia?

Agree not necessary to correct such things though. It's the Internet, not Shakespeare.

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 04/04/2012 16:36

probABly

pictish · 04/04/2012 16:36

Given that her first message detailed how much her dc misses yours and is pushing for a meet up - she asks for an answer one way or another so she can let her dc down gently if it's a no.

Which you ignored.

I think you should respond with an apology myself.

Floggingmolly · 04/04/2012 16:36

I just wanted people's opinions on her messages
Well you got them.
Her messages? Perfectly normal.
Your refusal to answer? Horribly rude and unneccessary.

ArtexMonkey · 04/04/2012 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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