to think dd's teacher was maybe over-reacting a tad?

[Northernlurker]

Apparently dd has been 'very rude' today as per the message from teacher via after school club. Very rude consists of not listening to story but talking to friends and then saying 'no' when told to stop and 'no' when told to move. Now I agree this is very rude and the teacher obviously dealt with it at length because dd was in floods of tears when collected by after school club. I have spoken to dd and she was talking because the book was one we have at home and she was telling her friends as much. At the end of a hot day, at the end of term her attention is shot to pieces as is that of most of the other kids. AIBU to think that a message home about this infraction was overkill. She didn't get a warning, she didn't get a timeout - and really what am i supposed to do about this? i speak to dd about her day every day. i am clear about what is expected but seeing as she's a stubborn 4 who has been at school less than a term i don't expect miracles. Frankly impressed we've got this far.

Or should I be grovelling tomorrow?

No - I wouldn't grovel. I wouldn't do anything, actually. Your daughter was in trouble at school, it was dealt with at school and the teacher let you know what had happened (possibly because your daughter had got so upset so she felt an explanation was in order.)

I would simply accept the information and move on.

It does sound like an over-reaction.
Talking during the story is rude, but the teacher should be able to deal with that without leaving your DD in tears.
It sounds like the teacher is ready for a holiday as well.

I agree with accept the info and move on, i doubt they expect you to do anything - probably just informing you especially as she was upset about it

would you rather you weren't told about instances when your DD behaved out of character? if this became a problem i imagine you would be asking the teacher why you hadn't been informed sooner that there were issues with rudeness. it doesn no harm for parents to reinforce what teacher has said at school.

What oak said. The reason she was talking is irrelevant she shouldn't have been!

Your DD was in floods of tears because she was rude and was told so.
The teacher was right to tell her off for talking and tell her off again for refusing to move.
Just because your DD has read the book before is no excuse. Others most probably hadn't heard it and your DD was being inconsiderate talking when the story was being read.

You needn't do anything more BTW, it has been dealt with.

6 of one....

"Thank you for letting me know" would be the appropriate response IMHO

Teacher has had enough too. To be fair, it does sound like she was rude.

It's part of the policy at my sons' school too - different levels of naughtiness have different sanctions and one of them is "telling parents". Like you, I sometimes wonder why they are telling me - son 1's teacher used to be fond of telling me he can't sit still. I know.

OP - I don't think you are supposed to do anything with this information, I think it's just keeping you informed.

Your daughter was rude and insolent not once,not twice but three times.

The teacher disciplined her then made sure her behaviour was communicated to you.

Exactly where is the problem?

Your daughter was rude and then teacher told her off and you were informed about it; I don't see your problem.

If the teacher had told her off and you weren't told-would you be on here moaning about that as well?!

We can't win, can we?

This thread only proves more what I have been sayng since I had to send my own 4 year old to full time school ...IT'S TOO YOUNG! BLoody stupid country. We need CHOICE! Ok so some parents say their child is "ready" at 4....but what of me? And others who say theirs are not? WHY can't we choose to put it off for a year if our children are Summer born?

It's bloody awful.

no-one has to send their 4 year old to school full time in the UK.

Actually I think the saying no to the teacher twice is more of an issue than talking when a story is being read. It's clear disrespect to a teacher in front of class mates and if that was my dd1 or 2 I would expect the teacher to come down hard and to be told about it to reinforce at home. But then I am a bit of a sergeant major

Your DD shouldn't need a warning or a timeout for this. She was told off for answering back, and then answered back when told to do something else.
I wouldn't take it up with the teacher, but I would have a gentle word with your DD so she knows that you don't think what she did is OK either.

Wouldn't you be more upset if you heard she was crying from the ASC but the teacher hadn't explained at all? She's just trying to keep you informed by the sound of it.

It's hot (first warm weather of the year throws small children utterly, last year was quarter of a life time ago)

And it's the end of term. Therefore it is not worth worrying about.

I'd rather be told.

It's simple communication that's all.

Your DD got in trouble and you were told about it (as you should be)

If she'd told you about it tonight, wouldn't you wonder why the staff didn't mention it to you?

She was in tears? So what? She is 4

I have worked with reception children in the past and some of them howled at any chastisement, its because they are so small. They still need to be told when they are being rude though.

That sounded like I'm really heartless

I'm not honestly, its just that children will cry when they are told off, especially if they like you, its not something to worry about.

Your DD was naughty, then she was rude, twice, and you're complaining about the teacher's behaviour?

Be glad you were told. I don't think the teacher overreacted, I expect your DD did. Because she is four and that is what they do.