To be unsurprised that so many women get post natal depression?

[toptramp]

My late mum had post natal depression after a horrendous birth during which she almost died. Couple that with the shock of becoming a new mum and the general lack of staus that society offers mums (especially single mums like me) and I am not surprised that so many of us get so down. It is a wonderful time but it also so tough. What can be done about it?
My birth wasn't great (I had a c-section)and I did it without a dp yet I didn't get pnd like my mum did. I did get the shock of my life mixed with a lot of love!

Ineedabetternickname, sorry to hear about your lack of support in RL. I hope things are better for you now.

Anyway OP. No, I'm not surprised so many women get PND. I think the expectations we put on ourselves, the exhaustion and coping with a new baby all contribute towards it.

I remember sitting on my hospital bed with DD1, crying my eyes out and feeling useless. A midwife came and sneered at me 'what's up, didn't you want a baby' and walked off.(I was only 22, but in a good relationship and my baby was much loved and wanted.)

I couldn't shake that woman's words for a long time. She judged me instead of offering support. That incident didn't cause PND of course, but I then felt unable to discuss how I felt for fear of others thinking the same.

Ignore the ignorant posts.............by the grace of god

Unless maybe trois just so she can realise what we're all talking about

Trois - I was wondering if you were doing a post-feminist version of the "two Yorkshiremen" sketch from Monty Python?

Betterwhenthesunshines I had the same experience - it was the combination of meds and counselling that really worked for me in the end.

"Actually I had 2 C sections in a year, held down a full time job in the city; also dealt with my incredibly sick father who was all but permenantly in hospital, redundancy , and a fractious moody MIL. and I had 6 inter-uterine blood transfusions into DS2, and he was 6 weeks early."

Yeah, and I did all that and lived in a box down t'mine and taught calculus to starving Somalian orphans AT THE SAME TIME and I didn't even so much as pull a sad face even when my own clitoris went mouldy and fell off and all my babies died of ebola. Do you even realise how stupid you sound?

Well done CailinDana good idea.

Lmao Wibbly

IMO 'strong' people who are used to coping with whatever life throws at them are the ones who get PND severely.
The fact that you mentally cannot be in control is terrifying and makes a horrible illness worse.

Hearts thank-you and yes, things are better! I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago now, and although I am still on ads it is a very low dose. It's been a long painful road but I will make it :)

OP - you ask 'What can be done about it?'

I do wonder if it's possible to 'catch it early'? I know they do those daft questions but I think so many people are so scared that they don't admit to their feelings which exacerbates the situation.

Troisgarcons - what a deeply offensive and ignorant post. Having mental health issues does not make you 'weak'. You've obviously never suffered from depression. If you had you would realise that it's a real illness not some kind of affectation.

Shame on you.

For what it's worth I'm a 'strong' person too . Especially as I get on with life in spite the depression. So not sure what some people would make of that...

Some people are weak?? seriously? What utter crap.

I've got 3 children. Had PND with my second, and not with first or third.

When it comes, it hits you like a ton of bricks. I don't know why it happened to me, but it's certainly not because I'm a weak person.

Troisgarcons - It would appear you have never experienced PND, and obviously have no idea what you are talking about.

Ineed Yes, you will make it. It can take a while, possibly with a few hiccups. But I found that once you knew the warning signs it was much easier to deal with before it took over. As I say, it also teaches you a lot about life and a bit of humility about the human psyche

I am fortunate enough not to have developed PND. I did, however, develop a chemical imbalance which affected my liver's ability to function. For this I got medical treatment, sympathy and support.

I think it should be the same for all women, whichever organ is affected b imbalances, whether that organ be liver, brain, kidney, or anything else.

A touch of bi-polar? They must be the same people who can be slighty dead.

Trois, you seem to be confused about what pnd is, you don't get it because of how hard time you have it during pregnancy, it is a genuine illness, just like some people can suffer with cancer and remain mentally well and somebody else can wake up one day with clinical depression.

OK now that I have calmed down....

I know the stats say that "lots" of women get PND but I didn't feel that way at the time and to a certain extent still don't now. I think it's because I didn't know anyone else who had it, or at least who would admit to it. All my friends had babies a bit older than mine and they all seemed to be coping beautifully. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't.

I think for me, it was a combination of a lot of things:

• genetics (both mum and grandmother undiagnosed but definitely with chronic depression),
• a couple of prior episodes for me where I was depressed but didn't recognise it,
• the complete and utter isolation that came with having a newborn (we also moved to London when I was 6 months pregnant and I knew exactly one other person besides DH),
• and not to forget the sleep deprivation and Gina Ford a book that told me how I should be doing everything beautifully, which made me feel even more anxious and more of a failure. I had never come across anything before in my life that I wasn't good at, or couldn't become good at through hard work and research, reading the right books etc.

well trois does work in the city - full time, no less.

says it all really.