To be unsurprised that so many women get post natal depression?

[toptramp]

My late mum had post natal depression after a horrendous birth during which she almost died. Couple that with the shock of becoming a new mum and the general lack of staus that society offers mums (especially single mums like me) and I am not surprised that so many of us get so down. It is a wonderful time but it also so tough. What can be done about it?
My birth wasn't great (I had a c-section)and I did it without a dp yet I didn't get pnd like my mum did. I did get the shock of my life mixed with a lot of love!

This thread has caused so much angst but I would hate to see it deleted as so many brave women have shared their experiences in such an amazing way. I have reported my own earlier post regarding doing something positive about PND, maybe we can all do something positive to help stop the culture of secrecy and shame.

pinchpunch has posted late at night. Prehaps she and trois are drinking buddies.
How does she know Trois in real life?

The thing about mumsnet is that we are all anomenous. You can write anything about a poster that you have never met.

Trois' opinon is very common. Sadly people have the right to obnoxious opinons.

This thread has been very interesting. The question coming out of it is "What can we do to ensure that we minimise the risks of women getting PND."

My ideas would be to educate everyone, not just mums and dads, about what real support is all about, what can be done to make new mums feel that they are not alone. Does the constant ff/bf debate draw focus away from the other ways that new mums can be supported, i.e. it's not all about giving baby a bottle, it's about ensuring the house is tidy/clean(ish), that meals are cooked, that mums feel cared for and supported, that shitty nappies are changed and babies are bathed whilst mum has a cup of tea and recovers.

Is this the next Mumsnet campaign being born? Can we fight for better education?

Ah - hit return before I'd finished!

Of course we also need more education about the signs of PND and how we can ensure mums in that position get the medical help they need to. I'm sure many families just don't notice and put it down to 'baby blues'.

Hello everyone.

Time for a massive apology and humble-pie eating session from MNHQ. Well, actually, more specifically, from me.

We should have deleted troisgarcons' post several days ago when it was first reported to us.

The MNHQer on duty asked me about it and I speed-read it and missed the very last part where PND was dismissed as not being a genuine MH issue.

It was my decision to let the post stand - we don't delete opinions just for being unpleasant or ignorant or misguided. If I had read it properly, I would have agreed that it should be deleted - as we would delete any post that stated any acknowledged mental-health condition was not real.

I'm very sorry. Really bad call on my part.

Thank you to all who reported to us and to those whose eloquent responses on this thread stopped short of personal attacks. However delete-worthy a post and however balls-uppy the initial MNHQ response to it, personal attacks are still against our Talk Guidelines, and we have to delete them, too.

In a situation like this, we would normally just delete the whole thread for turning into a bit of a bunfight. But there are so many moving and inspiring posts on this thread now, we'd really rather leave it up. We hope you agree this is the best move.

Glad to hear it Helen. I reported the post and was really surprised when I was told it wouldn't be deleted.

Offers Helen cake and

Thank you Helen - I reported the post and was really upset that it had been allowed to stand.

Please don't think badly of anyone else at MNHQ. They were just following (crappy) orders. And they're all lovely and very hard-working and conscientious.

We all make mistakes.

If you look on the bright side if it had been removed earlier many of the supportive posts wouldn't have been posted.

Knowing you're not alone really does help with recovery.The length of the thread will show any sufferer reading it that a)they're not alone and b)far from weak.

Wishing you all a speedy recovery as soon as possible,you will get there(speaking as one who came out the the other side).

MNHQ are fallible?

Next you'll be telling us you can't turn water into

@NarkedPuffin

MNHQ are fallible?

Next you'll be telling us you can't turn water into

I bloody wish we could!

I still think some sort of awareness raising campaign would be great!

You can't turn water into ??

I was ridiculously upset by troisgarcons post last night, and still am today. I cannot believe I am letting the opinion of someone I don't know and who clearly doesn't know what they're talking about affect me

BUT

I'm not upset that MNHQ let it stand. I think it's led to a lot of responses to this thread that are very insightful and helpful to others who find themselves in this situation.

And I second Hobnobs's suggestion for a campaign (and her choice of biscuits!!)

I had PND after a wonderful stress free pregnancy and birth. It was a horrible dark place I couldn't get out of and I had no idea what put me there but I know it was very real. It infuriates me when people disregard PND as it IS a real MH issue. I am still on medication for this 6 years on as I have found out my body now lacks the right amount of serotonin. It took me a long time to get help due to all the negativity around PND and comments like 'some people are weak' are going to make it harder for others to get help!!!

LeQueen I've been wondering if a mother suffers from PND whether her daughter is at increased risk herself.

I shall be very vigilant for my DDs but I'd also step in pretty fast if I thought their partner was belittling them and telling them, with no other form of support, to pull themselves together and cope.

We were thousands of miles from home with no midwives or HVs. Presumably those agencies are pretty good at picking up on signals that something is wrong, even if family don't?

Helen is tgat a personal attack on yourself

I'm glad that the thread is still here, and that my previous post was deleted. The other post was my knee-jerk reaction to trois and I should have calmed myself down a bit before posting. Sorry for being offensive.

I wanted to come back and actually respond to the OP!

I'm not overly sure what caused my PND. My pregnancy was a bit of a surprise to begin with because I had been told I would be unable to conceive without help. We were trying but never expected to be successful and fully anticipated a trip back to the GP a year or so down the line for some drugs. I was made redundant about 2 weeks after my BFP and then had the stress of having to find another job before my pregnancy began to show.

I started a new job and then had the stress of having to hide my constant nausea etc until I had been there a couple of months and had to tell them. Needless to say (and understandably!) my new employers weren't happy and I wasn't treated very well by my line manager.

DD1 was born at 37 weeks, which was a shock because everyone else I knoew who had had a baby was at least a week overdue! My labour was quick and very painful...there was no gradual build up of pain as it was very full on very quickly, and I didn't cope with it well.

My PND was pretty much immediate I think. DD1 was placed on my chest/stomach by the mw and I felt absolutely nothing for her...she could have been anybody's; could have been a puppy or an alien from outer space. Then my post natal care was shocking and I had no help with breast feeding until she was past 24 hours old.

My primary feeling throughout her first few weeks was pure unadulterated panic. I cannot being to describe the sheer dread I felt...dread of going to bed and facing the night ahead, dread of DH going out to work, dread of being stuck like this for years and years. I counted down the days until she would start school because I thought that that would be when it started to get easier.

The I took her for first round of immunisations and the lovely nurse at my GP practice just knew without me having to say anything and referred me to the HV. I started my long and painful journey to recovery.

And now this is the longest post ever but I just need to add that if anyone is reading this and suffering in silence, please talk to someone. As someone who was suicidally depressed I promise you that you will get better.

I'm actually begining to think, having read this thread, that one of the (many and varied) symptoms of PND can be pretending that it's not happening and being prevented by the illness from seeking help.
It certainly seems to be a very common theme.