To be unsurprised that so many women get post natal depression?

[toptramp]

My late mum had post natal depression after a horrendous birth during which she almost died. Couple that with the shock of becoming a new mum and the general lack of staus that society offers mums (especially single mums like me) and I am not surprised that so many of us get so down. It is a wonderful time but it also so tough. What can be done about it?
My birth wasn't great (I had a c-section)and I did it without a dp yet I didn't get pnd like my mum did. I did get the shock of my life mixed with a lot of love!

Not seeking help and refusing help when offered it is a well recognised symptom of depression frida, as well as some other mental illnesses.

Nobody knew and nobody asked. I asked the HV if I needed to fill in an Edinburgh test and she laughed and said "no, I only do those when I see a problem, you're obviously fine".
I was screaming inside, screaming at her to notice me and help me but I laughed, nodded my head and agreed it was a silly formality I was happy to give a miss to.

The Edinburgh test was dome on ALL new mothers where I lived in London. I mentioned being worried about PND when I was pregnant and the midwife said "Oh don't worry, you'll be so pleased with your baby and you'll be so busy you won't have time to get PND"

Silly ***!

"LeQueen I've been wondering if a mother suffers from PND whether her daughter is at increased risk herself."

Your daughter is at increased risk, but there are ways that you can reduce her risk. For example there are educational programmes designed to help improve a person's resilence. If depression does strike they will have more understanding of how to cope with negative thoughts. They will know how to be assertive and ask for help.

www.hertsdirect.org/services/healthsoc/childfam/health/resilience/

It is not to say that someone who needs resilence training is weak. However some young people have had a lot thrown at them in life. I feel that prevention is better than cure and teaching resilence to ALL our kids has to be a good thing.

This particular programme has been sucessful at reducing depression/anxiety in teens. Some teens appear to be exceptionally strong in the face of adversity, can develop mental illness later in life.

I had severe PND and was referred to a support group.

The truly staggering thing I found was that, at the beginning, we were encouraged to talk about our backgrounds and nearly all of us had some sort of professional experience in teaching or childcare.

In other words, we were ladies who knew about children, knew what we were doing and had high expectations of our ability to cope.

The group leader explained that professions where the mother is used to coping and being in control are the ones at highest risk of PND, especially teachers and professional childcarers.

I'm not saying it's inevitable that a teacher or nursery worker will definitely have PND, or that shop assistant won't, but I did find it interesting they could identify a profession like that.

Thank you Helen x

Tanith I think as a teacher you're used to being able to distance yourself somewhat from the children you're working with and that helps you to cope. With your own child you have an intimate emotional connection which is a huge adjustment. If you expect that you'll cope and be business-like in the way you are with your school children the reality of the messiness and general unpredictability of being a mother can be a shock. Plus I think as a teacher you're used to having your ability to cope with children judged from all corners so I think there's a certain paranoia that teachers suffer from. I didn't get PND but I was quite judgemental about everything I did with DS at first. I'm much more relaxed now thank god - I just have to remember OFSTED won't be landing on my doorstep any time soon!

I totally agree with tans post and cailin's too.

Oh God, that sick panicky feeling was awful. I used to look at ds and I honestly thought he wasn't mine and they's made a mistake ( very perm and traumatic c section)

they'd

LQ Yes. Exactly. I was the same. I used to sit staring at the clock willing it to get to the time when dh got home.

I have never felt so alone.

I really wanted to comment on this post,
Mothers have enough stigma & things to deal without ignorant people's attitudes to pnd.

I had a lot of support & still do, & manged to go straight back to work & didn't get pnd, I'll admit it was something I was worrying about, but i was fine. I can't imagine what it feels like & I hope people open up their eyes, about all mh aswell as pnd.

LeQ much of what you write about the unexpected C section, with no labour, and then that not being straightforward rings true with me. I honestly feel that started me on the downward slide to PND, which I battled with for 6 months before getting help.

Just wanted to add that I had nothing but wonderful and swift treatment from all the HCPs who saw me throughout my pnd. They were all superb, from the hv to the many different GPs I saw, always at short notice.

I was taken seriously from the start and given meds straight away. They worked.

I had brutal anxiety along with my PND, and what surprised me was that for a mental illness, the physical symptoms were horrific. At times I felt as if my skin had poison bubbling under it, from my head to my toes.

Anybody out there who thinks they may have PND, phone your GP. Do it. There is so much help there for you and you will feel better again.

Your life is still all there, whenever you're ready for it.

Morris - I believe if I'd told my doctor (well 3 out of the 4 in my surgery), my HV or even a midwife about how I was really feeling, they would have helped.
But I could barely accept it myself let alone admit it out loud.
Stark contrast to now of course, as I tell anyone who'll listen!

Thank goodness the NHS doesn't think like trois, otherwise I wouldn't be sat here in this unit, with wonderful doctors and nurses doing their best to get me better. An entire ward with specialist staff dedicated to helping mums with PND.

To all of you with PND...good luck and much love. To all of you who suffered in the past...well done, good going and hope things are looking good now. I just got out of our local MH ward after being admitted with severe anxiety/PND three weeks ago. To anyone who thinks it's made up...lucky, lucky, lucky you. You don't know how lucky you are. It has NOTHING to do with ability to cope in general or personal strength. Lucky, lucky you.