Well I just called him on his friend's phone again and he asked if I wanted him to come home now. This really annoyed me as I felt it put me in the position of being the nagging wife ordering him home when he should (IMHO) be saying something along the lines of "oh my god, didn't realise how late it was. I'm so sorry, I'll come home as soon as I can."
So I was very undignified and told him I didn't give a fuck what he did now as the rest of the day will be a write-off because of his hangover. Constructive, I know.
No I don't go out all night on my own. Actually, having said that, I did once last year. It was a hen do and he had a lot of notice. That's the only time. The only other times I've been out have been with him. He hasn't been out on his own that much. It's only been a handful of times, I've never really kept track. I'm starting to think that maybe I should keep score, as it were, even though that sounds horribly mean spirited.
This is because last week I went away for two nights mid week (theatre trip). It's the first time I'd ever done that and, as I said, I have only been out without him once since DS was born. Actually it's since I was pregnant (and during that time, he was constantly popping out for one or two drinks at 8pm and then not resurfacing until halfway through the next day). When I was away last week, DH took DS to stay at his parents' house with them and they looked after DS during the day and helped with him in the evenings. Anyway, DH told me that as I'd had this time off, he wanted to 'book' the next Saturday ie last night, so he could go out to this birthday party.
That's completely fair but I do feel a bit miffed that after all this time of him getting to go out and stay out, he was immediately making me 'pay' for my bit of time off. Sorry, that's worded really badly but I can't think of the right way to put it. What I'm trying to say is that if I'd added up all his nights out over the last 18 months to two years as a sort of flexitime then I'd have more than earned my time off last week. I honestly don't grudge him going out and seeing his friends although that might be hard to believe from what I've written! It just doesn't feel fair that he said he'd be back at some point last night but he wasn't and still isn't home now. And that he hasn't been in contact and I've had to chase him to get some idea of when he might be home and that I'm knackered and won't get any help from him for the rest of the day.
Would love to take DS off somewhere for the day but we're in a village with no buses running on Sundays and I can't drive. This does make it all the more frustrating tbh as we're completely dependent on DH, living here but that's another story.