to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

You're not. I am 100% a feminist and I avoid the MN feminist boards because I think a good number of the prolific posters over there have lost sight of what feminism is really about; giving women the same choices as men without judgement even if you don't agree with those choices.

And now they'll come along and tell me I'm wrong. But I'm not.

There are some on the feminist boards that take a very extreme and (I find) rather negative 'we're all victims of the patriarchy so there's no point' stance. Others are more moderate. Like any political movement, you're going to find it's a spectrum of views rather than one. Keep chipping in your two penn'orth.

YABU.

So start a thread about it in Feminism then.

The people who post on the board obviously influence the subject matter so start some topics you want to discuss.

I'm not sure why you have posted it in AIBU? But YABU

You ares being unreasonable! Where are these joyless and anti sex posts of which you speak?

Depends on who you read and engage with on the board though, there are a lot of very different views and opinions. Although Wamster will probably give you a feminist grade if you ask.

"You're not. I am 100% a feminist and I avoid the MN feminist boards because I think a good number of the prolific posters over there have lost sight of what feminism is really about; giving women the same choices as men without judgement even if you don't agree with those choices."

Problem is, feminism is about mor than that!

Great name!! ;-)

No, it really isn't seeker. Thanks for proving my point.

I really enjoy the feminist boards, because I think it highlights the differing approaches to it. From a more liberal approach, which is mostly about economic equality to radical, which looks to overthrow patriarchy. I am a radical feminist myself, but am deeply respectful of all the other approaches to feminism. I just think its great that we are once again considering these issues that for many years were being totally ignored!

I am a feminist but I tend avoid those boards as I find some (and by no means all) of the posters to be aggresive, unwilling to consider others viewpoints and inflexible.

Of course you get that in all walks of life and on all boards and there are some great posters on there too who are very interesting and knowledgable, but the "bad apples" put me off, which is a shame. There is a wide range though and as I said some really good posters.

I note you say you are 100% feminist but do be prepared for other women to tell you that you are not and that you have it all wrong :)

I don't post that often on the feminist boards as I don't really get the time but I think the majority of the posts are valid.

Feminism is not just about gaining equality it is about dispelling the myths of gender stereotyping, about generations of feminine ideals and roles, about educating generations of women, about realising that by dismissing concerns about societies biases.

To you it may just be a Barbie doll or oral sex, but what does the larger picture say?

But you don't have to pigeon hole yourself, you can be a radical feminist who wants to examine the minutiae or you can demand equality and use that to post in AIBU

Don't know what happened to that post it made sense when I typed it

i do accept that there is a need for extremists in any debate/issue, to bring the middle ground a bit further over, but sometimes, like in porn discussions or prostitute discussions or suchlike, i feel a bit alienated for things like actually liking porn, or having friends that were sex workers, or enjoying dominant/submissive relationships etc

I read a thing in a magazine about feminism it was 'can you have a brazillian and still be feminist?'

Dawn porter chipped in saying yes you can, you can also wear high heels, sort skirts and enjoy having sex with your man, ect, ect.

She raised some really good points, I'm a feminist, maybe one step further i would like to see women take over the world... but i do all the above, i don't agree that makes me anti feminist..

If i can find the magazine i'll post it in. I think it was this months glamour..

If its not about equality for women, whats it about then?...

yanbu. What Catgirl said. I can't be that rigid about anything, I guess.

I am also put off by the continuous quotes from books/articles but that would be the same if posters did that on any topic. I am more interested in discussions with posters personal views and experiences, not those of an author or journalist.

However, I do realise that it's not going to change unless more of us post on the board so I can't really complain about it.

I completely agree with Tee. I am a feminist, but I actively steer clear of the feminism board on this site for exactly the reasons Tee states.

Gosh, it's been such a long time since the feminist board was given a good slap around the chops.

This is the Internet, a forum on the Internet. You are a poster. Posters make a board what it is. Challenge it, ignore it, whatever, but don't whinge as though it's some institution run by others, because it's not.

it feels like it is though hester

Why?

feminists are anti-sex?

I find them thought provoking. I don't always agree with some of the posters, but I always end up thinking a bit mire about the subject. It's a bit odd to me to think you have such a huge issue all sewn up. Dogmatic. Which is the charge levelled at the feminist topic, ironically.