to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

Catgirl- unless the chocolate is fair trade, i hope that you realise that ypu are aparty to the exploitation of women and children .

I think that some of the older pposters, myself included, who have a varied sex life and good positive relationships,or a bit of fun, by their own choosing, get sickof being told that their choices mean something that they don't.

The best posts are when posters say "i never heared of this since coming on MN, but..." and then insult your choices that you have indulged in for over 25 years god im old

Or say "i don't think this happened before the ninties", soyou point out that you've been doing that particular act since the eighies and they call you a liar.

Some of the stuff they talk about has been pictured in the Karma Sutra etc, but they won't get into discussion.

If you are on the FB regulary, you know the threads that i and the OP are talking about.

There's a thread about the tack room on AIBU, that will have to be deleted as well, then.

I agree with a lot that is said on the FWR boards. I disagree with some of what is said. But I do enjoy the way that reading the boards makes me think clearly and carefully about why I think that way, and along particular lines.
Part of that process includes being challenged and dismissed and downgraded as a feminist by some who think differently about a specific topic, but that is the nature of a good debate in my opinion, it should have many different threads and perceptions to it.

Dammit I knew I was damaging someone :) It tasted too good to be guilt free

'MNHQ please can you do something about these recurring attacks on posters?

We are not named as individuals and we are lumped into a homogeneous group - but these are personal attacks all the same.

Would this be accepted for any other board on MN?'

SN issues get the same response from MN, you are educating, explaining and enlightening. Set a good example and rise above it to shine like a little twinkly star.
Even if posters are attacking your children, saying that they should have been aborted and that they are a drain on the state, shouldn't be in MS schooling and take up pram spaces and M&B parking spots..

Beachcomber - where is the 'slagging off' and 'attacks'?

I understand your frustration and I respect What you are saying but you are overreacting

never been in the popic, but seems to be a recurring theme about topics, where some poster have been made un welcome,for what ever reason, (happened to me in the sn topic) and there is a thread about the tack room going.
not sure of the anser but do hope that it gets sorted,
but do agree with the poster who says that attacks against the sn community are allowed to stand(and we have no choice about being in that community)
perhaps we need less topics, and that way the loudest posters would not be able to shout the quieter posters down.

Know what OP, if you'd posted this in Feminism then it may have been a debate worth having. But posting in AIBU is the equivalent of bitching about the nerdy girls to the cool girls at the back of the bike sheds, IMHO.

WE ARE THE BORG!! SEXLESS BORG!! JOYLESS BORG!!

ASSIMILATE!!

topic no idea what a popic is

A popic sounds like some sort of chocolate bar 2shoes.

Calling a group of people or a board the following is attacking;

bullying, snobbish, over-intellectualised, joyless, bad apples, negative, aggressive, highbrow, patronising, preaching about sex whilst not knowing much about it themselves, shouty, ridiculing of others, etc.

Just because you do it as a blanket group attack and you don't name people, does not make it not a personal attack.

I thought there was an unofficial but generally respected rule of etiquette on MN that you take things up on the thread in question, PM a poster if things get out of hand and derail a thread, report to MN as required, etc.

I didn't think it was generally considered acceptable to start threads about threads, drag stuff across the board, claim somebody said something horrible to you on a thread without giving that person a chance to quote what was actually said or defend themselves.

Or as we have seen with the SN boards, are feminists fair game for insult and attack? I guess they must be on MN.

Nope still don't think this thread has been attacking anyone.

I think it's a valid debate. Maybe OP wanted to post here rather than in Feminism to garner many different points of view, not just feminists?!!

I do get that it's frustrating if some feel misunderstood or 'talked about', and I know there are often threads on here about this, but surely it is good to be debating feminism.

And I also love the way Mumsnetters will nearly all say 'I'm a feminist' whereas I find in real life it's uncommon to state this in a blase and matter of fact way. There is still the old apologetic 'I'm not a feminst but...'

Huge X post beachcomber

I normally never post on these threads, although they seem to come by fairly regularly.

My view is that feminisim has a broad range of applicability and for those of us who identify themselves as feminists, it is a personal thing as to which bit of feminisim appeals to us or we identify with. I think this probably has something to do with what we are each dealing with or seeing in our own lives. I occasionally post on the fwr board but don't think its up to any one person to tell another what feminisim is or isn't. I think it discourages people from trying to identify themselves as feminists. The bit of feminisim that appeals to you/that you identify with isn't necessarily what others identify with and assumes everyone sees the world in the same you do, and that those who don't are just wrong.

so what you want in mn hq to change the rules to protect some posters.
good idea then they will have to delete the attacks on the sn community

No, no, no! This is all wrong. I had the next AIBU about the FWR board pencilled in for next week. Its meant to be once every two weeks not twice every one week. I really hate it when people get untidy like this. [cross face]

OK, so I'm being a bit tongue in cheek there, but these threads are getting really repetitive and dull. If you want to discuss feminism, why not post in the feminism section? Why not discuss your own views there instead of griping on a different part of the forum?

Over and again I hear "I'm a feminist, but I don't like the feminists on Mumsnet". Well I hate to point this out, but if you are a member of Mumsnet and a feminist then you are talking about yourselves you DOLTS.

I don't post much in FWR unless a thread takes my fancy or I have something to say, but I really don't understand the repetitive need that some people (and its generally the same names over and again) have to gripe about it instead of just posting there.

So does that make you a grade C feminist, a grade F feminist or Unclassified?
I think I'll go for Unclassified Feminist as my choice.

And the reason I am posting like this is not because I am overreacting thank you. It is because I am sick and tired of poor standards of behaviour being tolerated on MN about an entire group of posters.

We have these threads regularly and they are always the same - often with the same posters popping up to claim they were treated terribly by regulars in the FWR section but never actually backing that claim up. This is a form of personal attack no more no less.

what do people want?

-i shaved my crotch today

• did you choose it? then woooo go you!!! go feminism!!!

-i am worried my career stalled after having babies

• well, you did want babies! wooo! go you!!! go feminism

-i love porn
-well i don't but don't let that stop you!! woooo! happy porning!!!

-i chose a bacon sandwich instead of a turkey one
-god i love all our ossum choices woooo!!! go feminism!!!!!

fine. as long as any woman chooses anything anytime, anywhere, it is beyond analysis, or criticism, and is feminist

i am choosing to go make a cuppa now woooooo go me!!!! i'm soooo feminist!!!!!!

I am sure that if naming names was allowed, people would do so - there are several obvious culprits on the feminism boards and people probably know who they are. However, it is not allowed.

FWIW the feminist boards have completely changed my viewpoint on so many things and I find myself in everyday life now thinking about things from a more feminist standpoint. However, I do find some of what is talked about over there bullshit (in my opinion), but dare to say it and 'you dont understand' or are just chased off the thread.

Oh, I'm so tired of this. Does it not occur to you that saying other posters are joyless and anti-sex is really pretty nasty?

I am so tired of reading that stupid opinion, as if you knew anything about my sex life or any other poster's sex life. It's just a nasty little dig, isn't it?

I am anti-porn, because I enjoy sex. I get that other people view it differently, but my view is that if you're pro-porn, you're supporting things that contribute to hurting women and spoiling sex for the rest of us. I'm not running around forcing other people at gunpoint to agree with my stance, but I am so fucking sick of this tired 'nah na ne nah na, you lot are just frigid' stuff being trotted out.