wibu to dress dd in a bridesmaid dress for my friends wedding when she is not,in fact, a bridesmaid?

[leftmymistletoeatthedoor]

Dd is 17m.

One of my oldest friends is getting married next month. She's only having her sister as a bridesmaid, I think due to costs etc but not sure.

She isn't have any little bridesmaids if that makes a difference.

My mum wants to buy her a dress like this but I'm not sure if it'll seem a bit odd. Ill not be wearing a dress btw and her dad and brother who is 5 will be in kilts.

What do you reckon? Dd doesn't have much hair bless her so I'd like her to wear something girly so people don't think she's a boy

Correction: leftmymistletoeatthedoor just confirmed it

But everywhere you go that is more formal has some "rules" attached to it. So when I went to my close friends funeral I wore black. She wouldn't have cared what I wore, but her family might have though it was disrespectful if people didn't wear largely black. So rather than be rude, I wore black.

I can't understand why you can't see that what you wear at formal occasions matters.

This thread reminds me of my uncle's wedding. My mum was so pissed off that me and my sister weren't asked to be bridesmaids that she handmade 2 amazing, matching floral dresses with 'bustles', put flowers in our hair and bought us little lace gloves .

We looked so much better than the 'official' bridesmaids .

Well I'm getting married in a few months, having just my sister as MOH and no little bridesmaids. There will be quite a few little children at the wedding and if one of them wore that I'd just think they were adorable. It's not offensive fgs, it's a sweet little child! But it is kind of batty that your mother wants to buy her a bridesmaid dress specifically - she's not going to get any wear out of it! Is she perhaps trying to finagle your DD into the role of bridesmaid?

Ok Lesley, I hear you on that. And fwiw, I always follow the conventional "rules", however I am totally not bothered if someone else does not follow these rules. It does not impact me at all. Not at my wedding. Not at my mother's funeral... I follow the "rules" but wouldn't feel offended or gossip about it if someone else chose not to.

Actually I agree. But I know not everyone feels the same. So I do follow the rules personally.

Have a look at Lil Bubba Things on Facebook. The dresses are gorgeous, practical, all unique and last for ages. They are cut in a way that means they can be worn as swing tops as your little one grows. Usually they release so many and it's fastest finger but they are doing special orders at the moment. I bought a pettiskirt for under my little girls and it makes it even dressier.

YABVU

YABVU ask your mum to get your DD a pretty party dress that isn't a bridesmaid dress.

lesley33 I am FAMED for wearing the correct dress for whatever occasion...I have numerous outfits and the correct accessories to boot, Jodphurs, life-jacket, fascinator. I cut quite the dash

(My MIL looked on approvingly once (and for the last time!) at a (her side) family funeral - therefore I have been royally annointed with the upper middle class unguents of outfit sense and sensibility. (My (now ex) SIL however rocked hillbilly chic (denim) and was shunned by all )

I agree with you, I do, I do...but I recall my own Wedding, and think that the entire group of guests could have come dressed as clowns and I still wouldn't have given a flying f.

I'm sure many people thought Neice (from Husband's family) was a Bridesmaid, but so what? People may have commented about it, but never to me. Husband and I remain very happily married some donkey's years later...and most of my Wedding Guests are still talking to me.

I wouldn't care if your DD had worn that dress to our wedding, it looks lovely :)

I also like this dress and this one and this one is my favourite.

NIECE must have caught Spring Wedding Wanky spelling Fever.

(Oh the perils of trying to match just the right life-jacket to the right fascinator...it's hell this far from the shops I tell you.)

happy to be in agreement with you now, Lesley
I always follow the rules myself, as I said but don't care what anyone else does. And I think the little girl would look sweet in that dress so if grandma really wants to buy it then I think she should wear it.

Wouldn't have bothered me at all. Although we went to a wedding last year. DD (2) had a beautiful blue silk dress that had been handed down to her so we put her in that as she hadn't really had another occasion to wear it. It turned out to be exactly the same colour and fabric as the bridesmaids which was a bit embarrassing but I'm pretty sure no one even noticed.

Now if it was a grown up wearing a bridesmaid dress it would be different. I had a good friend when I got married who declared herself my maid of honour and had a dress made the same colour as my bridesmaids. That was a bit weird. Certainly didn't ruin my day though.

My grandmother (who brought me up) was desperate for me to be a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding and begged and pleaded with them to include me but they were adamant that my red hair would clash with the colour scheme so wouldn't budge.

I was pretty happy about this, being a surly goth and all that - until the morning of the wedding when my grandmother unveiled my dress, which was pretty much identical to the bridesmaids' dresses, only in a different non clashy with red hair colour. I was completely MORTIFIED. She'd even booked me into the same hairdresser as the bridesmaids to have my hair done the same way, with flowers! I also had little lace gloves. :(

I still feel hot cheeked with shame when I think about it now.

i do see what you are saying havepatience and for the record i personally wouldn't get my knickers in a knot about a 17 mo but i do know hypersensitive loons in my family people who would.

I suppose my point was more based on adults wearing weddingy dresses (tbh altho i was pissed off it certainly didn't have any real effect on my day).

I agree with lesley too. social formal situations can be very important to people and therefore better not to risk offence.

A friend turned up to some gay friends formal wedding wearing jeans and trainers, his attitude was very much 'well it's not a real wedding is it'. People were upset.

this is a stunning little dress, at a good price - and she has lots of other very pretty party dresses too.

This reminds me of when my sister refused to have me as a bridesmaid. My cousin and I hatched a plan in which I would simply buy a bridesmaid's dress and wander down the aisle after her and my dad.

Sometimes I so wish I had done it.

Don't get her e BM dress, OP. Tisn't worth any silly fallout :)

deemented that is a lovely dress.

YANBU. It's just a bloody dress!

What you wear and what you dress your children in matters.

Or even if it doesn't matter, it does send out signals.

If you are happy for other guests to think "she wanted her DD to be a bridesmaid" then by all means buy a dress from the bridesmaid collection.

If you'd rather that there was no chance they could mistake you for a bonkers "my child must be involved" sort of person then pick a different pretty dress.

"A friend turned up to some gay friends formal wedding wearing jeans and trainers, his attitude was very much 'well it's not a real wedding is it'. People were upset."

That is just disrespectful. I would have been angry at the friend as well.

I'm genuinely amazed that anyone would mind what dress a little girl wears to a wedding. I wouldn't have cared in the slightest if ALL the girls who came as guests to my wedding had chosen bridesmaid-y dresses, because I just wanted them to have the loveliest day possible.
Why would you object, if you're someone who would?