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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

235 replies

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 21:07

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 16/02/2012 21:09

YABU.. why not change her in the toilets?

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 16/02/2012 21:09

yab massively u. If you could change her on the floor in the cafe, why couldn't you do it in the loo? Nothing even comperable to breastfeeding, and it makes my blood boil when people compare the two.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/02/2012 21:11

They had a loo, surely that IS baby changing facilities?

Proudnscary · 16/02/2012 21:12

YABU and incredibly, weirdly entitled

NatashaBee · 16/02/2012 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sevenfold · 16/02/2012 21:12

yabvu
yuck and double yuck

altinkum · 16/02/2012 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnoyingOrange · 16/02/2012 21:12

YABU

StrandedBear · 16/02/2012 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 21:13

It's like that piss take nethuns thread about using the potty in main restaurant area of pizza hut! Remember that?!

YABU btw

PamPerdbrat · 16/02/2012 21:13

Sorry OP, YABU. Bf is a totally different thing to changing a wet nappy. Why couldn't you have done it in the loos? Or even made your dd wait whilst you found somewhere that did have a baby change if you were bothered? M&S, Tesco, John Lewis, Costa... All examples of large chains found in most towns that have baby change facilities.

DonkeyTeapot · 16/02/2012 21:13

YABU, I would be annoyed if I thought someone was changing a nappy where I was eating and drinking. As for the cafe not providing a mat, don't you have one in your changing bag?

Sirzy · 16/02/2012 21:13

I agree with others, change her nappy in the toilets if it needs doing.

troisgarcons · 16/02/2012 21:13

YABU - toilets and food dont go together. Apply that to BFing as well. You wouldnt like to BF in a loo - I don't want to eat with other peoples arses waving about.

leddeeburdee · 16/02/2012 21:13

Why couldn't you have used the toilets? YABU.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:13

YABU. You should have done it before you went in. You could have done it in the car or found somewhere else where people weren't trying to eat and drink.

I remember feeling like it wasn't a big deal when I was changing nappies all the time, although I never had the cheek to do it in public, but to other people who don't have small children's ith them it is a big deal, and you shouldn't have done it.

switchtvoffdosomelessboring · 16/02/2012 21:13

Ya b totally u
Go to toilet. Put seat down and change her on your knee. It's not hard.

LittleWaveyLines · 16/02/2012 21:15

TBH if I was going to change my DD's nappy in a cafe with no changing facilities, I probably wouldn't want to put her on either the loo floor or cafe floor, but would do it on my lap - which is also more discrete...

cupofteaplease · 16/02/2012 21:15

Northampton is backward in many regards, I have found! Grin

Were you definitely out of view?

BabyDubsEverywhere · 16/02/2012 21:15

That it rank! why didnt you just change her over your lap while sitting in he toilets?? If you cant do that you need to be practising at home until you can, or lie the pushchair flat and change in that in the toilets...no excuse tbh.

YABU

trixie123 · 16/02/2012 21:15

sorry but YABU not have used the loo. I agree it is annoying when there are no facilities and I also agree that people get far too wound up about hygiene issues but the loo floor with your coat + presumably you have a mat in the changing bag would have sufficed. Also, if you knew before you sat down to order you could have gone somewhere else surely? Storming out was on overreaction.

PamPerdbrat · 16/02/2012 21:15

You do sound very, very angry though OP. Are you sure this is actually what's bothering you? I suffered for a LONG time after DS was born, sweetheart. Stuff like this used to make me cry Blush

AnnoyingOrange · 16/02/2012 21:16

I've changed a baby in the tiny loos in a plane. You could have changed yours in the loos as others have said

sodapops · 16/02/2012 21:16

YABU.

What were you going to do with the nappy once you had taken it off, and would you have gone to wash your hands after?

Kayano · 16/02/2012 21:16

I wonder if op will be back?!