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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

235 replies

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 21:07

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 16/02/2012 22:07

I get seriously worried about landfill when I hear that disposable nappies are changed unnecessarily. And all that scientific research in creating the stay-dry lining - completely wasted! Shock

HandMini · 16/02/2012 22:08

YABU.

Not many people would be offended by a bare little baby bot but dirty nappies where people are PAYING to relax and eat are a no no, even if it's just wee. Just cause there's a baby involved doesn't mean people shouldn't act with respect and courtesy to others in public.

I often go to a little cafe near our house which has a tiny freezing cramped toilet and no change facilities (amazing turkish coffee and cakes...worth the crap amenities) and if DD ever needs changing I just spread a plastic mat on the floor in the loo and get on with it. My choice to be in the cafe, I accept the facilities they have.

By all means tell the cafe/write to your mp and demand baby change facilities be made compulsory, but in the meantime, don't change dirty nappies in cafes.

dearjane · 16/02/2012 22:08

The unreasonable thing is that you walked out on lunch with your Dad, while he pleaded with you to stay, even though you only see him every so often.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 16/02/2012 22:09

I thought most people changed nappies on knees and changing mats were just another useless gift-idea that people thank you for then throw in the corner? Blush
Surely the angle of your hand/wrist to baby's bum for cleaning and wiping is much better across your knee than with baby lying on the floor?

aldiwhore · 16/02/2012 22:10

and much as I think facilities should be provided, I've been in shops before when desperate for a poo and not gone on the floor.

If its a wet nappy, and your child won't be changed 'standing up' then you need to perfect the 'dangle nappy change' which can be done in the most disgusting of toilets without touching anything.

People see nappy, they see pooh, I would, and I would be very pissed off and slightly put off my dinner if anyone changed a nappy in a cafe.

HandMini · 16/02/2012 22:11

Boobtucker, you must have amazing baby wrangling skills. I can ONLY change my baby on a mat/surface. Must try and perfect the lap change.

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 22:12

dearjane, thank you. I am a writer, but I did stalk and my father did plead. I think I'd better phone him and apologise.

OP posts:
Proudnscary · 16/02/2012 22:19

Like I said earlier - posters who think this is ok have lost perspective and possibly disappeared up their entitled and precious parenting arses.

A CHILD CAN WAIT HALF AN HOUR WITH A WET NAPPY.

MustControlFistOfDeath · 16/02/2012 22:23
lancaster · 16/02/2012 22:26

yanbu - I would have changed her on my lap though.

BleurghUna · 16/02/2012 22:27

dearjane I see your point but creative writing students are encouraged to use paragraphs ... Wink

WillowFae · 16/02/2012 22:28

Never did the lap change thing with either of my two. I have short legs and I rarely ever find a chair to sit on where I have a flat lap - it slopes. Also, if you are a larger lady there is a reduced lap!

sayjay · 16/02/2012 22:29

Erm, urine is sterile. Smile

Just sayin...

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 22:29

At the risk of starting more rants, DD is nearly two. This is only my 2nd visit to the Talk site: you are all so fierce. Fabulous. Night All, and thanks again for sharing.

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 16/02/2012 22:29

Sorry but a toddler is even worse than a baby! I was imagining you as a stressed mother of a newborn and still thought it grim.

Sirzy · 16/02/2012 22:31

2 year old you stand in the toilets and change the nappy. If you couldn't do it alone ask your sister to go with you to help keep him still.

splashymcsplash · 16/02/2012 22:33

This thread reminds me of another mum who I saw change her toddler's soiled nappy on a sofa in a pub with no changing mat. Little blighter ran around the sofa with a soiled bum as well. Bleurgh! I don't know if there were changing facilities in that pub, but I know that she didn't check.

It was a posh gastropub, not sure if that makes a difference, but as the OP wanted to make a point about changing in a cafe not a restaurant I'm including this detail.

RitaMorgan · 16/02/2012 22:35

Oh for goodness sake - a 2 year old? So no need to lie her down at all.

Really inappropriate to change a toddler's nappy in a cafe.

fluffylegs · 16/02/2012 22:37

Everyone who is saying you are being U is being U!
I wouldn't change my DC's nappy on a cafe toilet floor I would also have done it as you did and the waiter was being a dick.

katiecoocoo · 16/02/2012 22:38

I've been in the same position, I took my child to the loo, put my jacket down, portable changing mat on top and changed his nappy, washed my hands(which you can't really do in the corner of a cafe)..then I walked back out and sat down at the table with my family, my food, my drink and breast fed him at the same time..he was only a few weeks old, but thats just what you do, same as anywhere else that has no changing facilities..YAY! All happy, baby comfy!

clippityclop · 16/02/2012 22:39

VU all round. Embarrassing for your dad, and your child. Loo's the place for that sort of business.

sayjay · 16/02/2012 22:40

Wouldn't bother me as a diner, if done in the way OP describes for a WET nappy.

Poop would be a different matter.

Not sure what I'd do myself but more than likely a standing up change in the loo.

With pfb i would probably have insisted we all traipse round town to find a venue with proper facilities Blush

runningwilde · 16/02/2012 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

dearjane · 16/02/2012 22:40

"It was just a bit of wee; no one could see"

Yes, I expect the waiter used his special wee-sensing equipment to work out what you were doing Hmm

TheParan0idAndr0id · 16/02/2012 22:42

You can change a child that big standing up in the loo.
Drama Queen.