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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

235 replies

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 21:07

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

OP posts:
lockets · 16/02/2012 22:43

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katiecoocoo · 16/02/2012 22:43

Sorry fluffylegs, the poor lady did ask..it seems she wanted to know what people thought..also if you read her post, she said "please tell me I'm being unreasonable"...how is it not reasonable to oblige??

RhinosDontEatPancakes · 16/02/2012 22:46

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lockets · 16/02/2012 22:47

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runningwilde · 16/02/2012 22:48

Give the op a break! It was only a nappy! Where was it op, I need to know! X

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2012 22:49

YABU, sorry. You should have done it on the toilet floor. I thought it was normal to carry a changing mat for occasions such as this.

runningwilde · 16/02/2012 22:49

I think she meant 'please tell me IF I was being unreasonable

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 22:50

I can't believe no one picked up on the line 'I would have gone to wash my hands if I was eating'

Because that ok then! Hmm

runningwilde · 16/02/2012 22:50

Ugh to toilet Floor! No way!

runningwilde · 16/02/2012 22:53

Op, maybe you should change to pull ups? When is she two? I potty trained mine when they got to two. Maybe time to think about it? In the meantime, pull ups when you are out means you can go in the loos and keep her upright - so much easier x

MustControlFistOfDeath · 16/02/2012 22:54

KitchenRoll - I hate to break it to you but you have probably touched door handles that other people have touched after they have been to the loo and had a shit and not washed their hands Shock

RitaMorgan · 16/02/2012 22:57

Come on though - it's hardly difficult to change a 2 year old's nappy standing up! It would have taken 5 minutes to go to the toilets and do it.

Alconleigh · 16/02/2012 22:59

The thing is that this might seem acceptable as you're in a stage of life where you change nappies multiple times a day, but most people aren't at that stage in their lives. And when you aren't, the prospect of a nappy being changed in a cafe is pretty horrid. I've been with friends when they've done it and been mortified.

pinkyp · 16/02/2012 23:00

yabVu

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 23:02

I know but that doesn't make it right! I can't believe someone would admit they don't wash their hands after nappy changing on an Internet forum.

Bad hygiene is the reason people get viruses. And it's just plain minging!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 16/02/2012 23:02

Meh, I would have done it. I'm not known for my appropriateness in social situations re my child though! Grin

Shutupanddrive · 16/02/2012 23:04

Yabvu, totally inappropriate. You could have gone somewhere that did have facilities first. Not every single place you go to will. Or use the toilet as others have said. I would never put my coat or baby on a toilet floor though, really?

Annakin31 · 16/02/2012 23:09

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amicissimma · 16/02/2012 23:10

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skybluepearl · 16/02/2012 23:10

why did you have to change the nappy anyway? it was only wee not poo. wee nappies last ages.

I BF anywhere and everywhere by the way but would never change a nappy in an area used for eating.

standing up nappy change is fine in the loos for a 2 year old

PotteringAlong · 16/02/2012 23:18

I went out today and had lunch in a pub in Newcastle. I breast fed without any problem

PotteringAlong · 16/02/2012 23:20

Sorry - hit post too soon!

I breastfed without any problem, as I would expect to. But I changed DS's nappy on the floor of the toilet, as I would expect t to.

YABU

QuintessentialyHollow · 16/02/2012 23:20

'I would have gone to wash my hands if I was eating'

Hopefully she did not put her fingers in the mints, or the nuts on the way out! Grin

lockets · 16/02/2012 23:20

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onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 23:58

Never done the stand up nappy change. Will try, but about to start potty training, I'll ask for advice about that too (err...perhaps not). Yes, I am a drama queen, and yes I do always have sanitiser with me and actually the skin on my hands is chapped from all the bloody washing after nappy changes, etc. (Woe is me). Any good suggestions for hand cream, whilst we're on the subject? (No don't). But I admit that I did not wash and go (or stalk) this time. Thank you to all the sweeties who came to my defence, but as katiecoocoo said: I did ask.

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