To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

[onwardsnupwards]

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

tigerlillyd02, would you like to wear your knickers until they are dripping wet, and then have them changed?!

Each to their own and that, but I'd never leave my DS in a wet nappy because it may offend strangers!

It offends me that anyone could be offended by a baby.

tigerlillyd02, would you like to wear your knickers until they are dripping wet, and then have them changed?!

Erm some common sense here please. Disposable nappies are designed to hold more than 1 wee and last longer than a simple cafe trip - unlike knickers. It's not rocket science!

No one is offended by the baby...

It's the piss.

No place in a cafe!

I confess I have never changed my DD's nappy on my knee - someone tell me how!!

I wouldn't be bothered if someone did this in a cafe I was eating in BUT I would never do it myself as i understand that some people might find it gross.
It's about consideration for others, regardless of whether you agree with their point of view

The waiter was not to know if it was a runny poo, or a wet nappy, or if your dc was ill or well, and frankly it should not be their concern! They have a duty to provide a hygienic and clean eating area, without poo, diarrhea or urine where people are eating.

I remember a program on TV where a salmonella outbreak was sourced back to ONE area in a particular restaurant where somebody had been sick. Even though it had been cleaned up, people sitting near the area got sick for weeks later.

Noro virus can survive in dried poo or vomit for up to three weeks. Touching the dry stuff can infect you. Alcohol and antibac does not kill it, only bleach will do.

I would complain if I saw someone changing a baby on the floor in an eating establishment.
ffs time and place

I wouldn't ever have left my baby in a dripping nappy because it might offend others either - but still wouldn't have changed them where others were eating if the cafe had a toilet. Ok, no changing facilities, but surely you have a travel changing mat or you could have sat on the toilet and changed the baby on your knee? Sorry, but this is about being reasonable - nappy changing in a cafe where others are eating where there is an alternative is not right IMO

Me too! It sounds like a useful skill to learn, mind you, DD is nearly two so maybe too big?

She is way too big to change on my lap. I had no pushchair with me. The toilet floor is tiny and freezing. There were only 3 other customers - all on the other side of the room, well away from us. No, I'm not depressed, but I was stressed. I took the nappy home with me and I would have washed my hands if I'd stayed to eat, honest guv. Northampton IS positively Jurassic in terms of facilities, but there are some, just not in that part of town. I'm saddened that people get so freaked out by even controlled exposure to baby pee. I don't agree entirely that I was being unreasonable, but you're right, I should have just left. It was good to have your views. Thanks.

I never got the hang of knee changing either Bobbys, I don't think my legs are long enough!

Unbelievable!

Now you're saying you didn't even wash your hands?

You had sanitiser with you though, right?

I'm going to swim against the tide and say I'm siding with OP. The baby is also a customer and deserves facilities just like other customers. If they're not provided, you have to make do. Although when I was in this situation, NCT group friends did helpfully say "Don't change him here, we're eating and it's not hygienic. Go in the toilets and do it on the floor." So that kind of set me straight on the etiquette!

I'm well impressed by the nappy-changing heroics being displayed tho - on the knee!?! Never even thought of doing that!!!!

A two year old can do a nappy change standing up.

A smaller baby can be held sideways across your lap (very useful if you wear skirts, as you spread your legs as wide as skirt will allow you to, to make bigger changing area. But a changing mat on lap will also do.) You can also lay baby on his back with his head on your knees, if very small. My mum taught me how to do it.

It's more difficult with a toddler as they're generally longer than the width of your lap - but as you don't notice them growing so much, you somehow still manage it. My mum taught me to do it

My 2yo won't be changed standing up.

Bobbysbeard you have seriously never changed a nappy on your knee ? It's my preferred way of doing it as you can stop the child moving easily. Just put child on your knees so there back is across your legs (open you legs a bit) let there legs dangle. Use one hand to remove nappy, use the other to either get wipe or hold reluctant child. Put nappy on floor, quick wipe, new nappy one, trousers up, child down, pick up nappy and dispose.

haha, way to go mums! :)

When you say "baby pee" do you mean the urine of your almost two year old toddler OP?

I think the amount of times a day you change nappies is inversely proportional to their age.

hang on, you say "pre school children". How old is your dd?

Are we talking about your almost two year old, OP? Or do you have another DD?

There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning.

Then wouldn't it have made sense to have postponed or arranged to meet somewhere that you knew did have changing facilities?

Tbh as mum, and in a dire emergency I wouldn't think it was the end of the world, but it's not really appropriate in the grand scheme of things and I'm not surprised the assistant said something.

Sorry YABU.

Very.

And I'm not usually that bothered by things like this (and have changed my own child's wet nappy in some strange places).