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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

235 replies

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 21:07

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

OP posts:
TessTickular · 16/02/2012 21:16

As a customer I wouldn't have minded, but I guess I see why the waiter spoke to you. It was only a wee though.

Lots of cafes/pubs that I've been to have told me to change the babies on the bench or the table.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/02/2012 21:16

YANBU

You did it out of sight of other customers & it was only a wet nappy.

I would have just said 'I can and I did - get a grip. If you don't like it then you need to provide changing facilities'.

Fuckity (hi :) )There's no way I'd lay my coat or my baby on the floor of a cafe toilet.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:17

What is it about this that is making you so angry?

2BoysTooLoud · 16/02/2012 21:17

I'm guessing the op has got the message...

TessTickular · 16/02/2012 21:17

No, same Chipping. Neither my coat nor my baby will ever be touching the floor of a public loo!

Kaliani · 16/02/2012 21:18

I live in Northampton, and I've never had any problem finding anywhere to change DD when she was a baby, or feeding her either.

To be fair, I can see the cafe's PoV, you could have laid your baby on your coat in the loo

squeakytoy · 16/02/2012 21:19

Were you definitely out of view?

Sounds to me that it probably looked like a game of twister going on somewhere on the cafe floor..

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:19

I wouldn't want my coat or my baby touching the floor of a public loo either, for exactly the same reason that you shouldn't change a baby in an eating area.

It's dirty.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/02/2012 21:19

x-posted with lots of people!

I can't believe so many Mums are bothered about this. It was out of sight of other customers and it wasn't a smelly nappy... what's the issue?

wigglesrock · 16/02/2012 21:20

I've changed loads of nappies on the floors of loos on a coat, muslin cloth, blue roll etc. But usually I change the baby in the car if there's no facilities.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 21:20

I have images of op trying to hide behind display of eclairs and cakes
Lol

nailak · 16/02/2012 21:20

once i was in asda and they had baby facilities but it was locked and they wouldnt open it and told me to put coat down on the floor in the loos, which were muddy and wet, only mens loos were open and it was a state, were they going to pay for cleaning my jacket after?

i changed my baby on a bench instead.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 16/02/2012 21:20

I'm going to (for once) disagree with everybody so far and say YANBU.
She's only a baby (I think from your post) and it only takes a minute. I'm sure no-one would have even noticed if the staff member hadn't made a scene.
Why do baby's bums offend people? It doesn't smell and it's not like you were doing it on the table where the next people would be eating.
Now if it had been a stinking explosive poo I would say you YABU!

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 21:21

I was with a friend when she did this a few months ago. I was so embarrassed. The waitress didn't say anything but she looked aghast. Sorry OP YABU.

my2centsis · 16/02/2012 21:21

Sorry but YABVU that's gross!

I have had this happen before and I sat on top of the toilet lid and changed dd on my knee.

This is just inappropriate on many levels

Red2011 · 16/02/2012 21:21

I would have been annoyed that the cafe didn't have adequate provision for changing but I would have used the loos. I've had to use the loos at various parks' cafe's that don't have proper changing facilities. I put my coat/jumper down, put change mat on that and get it done quickly.

lisbethsopposite · 16/02/2012 21:21

Friend did it with me once - no staff came near, but some dirty looks. I was mortified and annoyed. I had no baby then, but if it were today I'd say even more.
I recently changed DS (18 months and wiggley) pooey nappy in toilet cubicle over my knee. Bit of head banging but otherwise ok. It's not that hard.
I would not put baby or my coat on bathroom floor - yeuch!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/02/2012 21:22

I really don't get the issue. It's a wee nappy, on the floor, on top of the Op's coat. Why exactly is it 'disgusting/wrong/dirty etc'??

Earthymama · 16/02/2012 21:22

I always surprised that people don't change babies on their laps, it's quick and easy.
I use the folding changing mat over my lap to protect my clothes.
It also prevents wriggly babies from escaping Smile

MrsCampbellBlack · 16/02/2012 21:22

How old is your baby? If a toddler - you need to master the standing up nappy change so you can do it loos easily.

But really - you should have changed her prior to going to lunch - especially if it was only wee - I just would never have done what you did.

You were unreasonable I'm afraid.

hocuspontas · 16/02/2012 21:22

This is a joke right? NObody would lay a coat on the floor of a cafe and change a nappy? Do it on your lap if you're desperate. I would prefer a place NOT to provide a changing mat. How minging would that be after a few uses.

Proudnscary · 16/02/2012 21:23

Sorry no a wet nappy can wait - those who think this is fine have lost perspective and are being precious/entitled.

Because, Chipping, cafe customers don't want babies being changed in public while they are eating. I doubt very much they couldn't see!

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 16/02/2012 21:23

X-post with lots of people, good to see I'm not the only one on your side!

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 21:23

Although in fairness her DC wasn't little and it wasn't discrete which makes a difference.

TessTickular · 16/02/2012 21:23

No I don't get it either. Confused