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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask the school to seperate yr 2 girls and boys when changing for PE

142 replies

Idasonions · 09/02/2012 15:50

my dd is almost 7 and wants me to buy her cropped tops to wear under her school blouse as 'the boys laugh and point at the girls boobies' when they change for PE.

My dd is getting distressed about this, She is completley flat chested still and I dont want to buy her a bra like top but I dont want her to be self concious either.

WIBU to speak to the teacher ?
Is this normal behaviour ?

I am guessing they wont have facilities to change seperatly but I dont want her to feel like this for another year before she moves to middle school.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/02/2012 15:51

What are all her friends wearing?

Distended · 09/02/2012 15:51

Can she not wear a vest?
I would mention the teasing to the teacher though she should talk to the boys.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/02/2012 15:52

I think at 6yo its reasonable to have them still changing together to be honest. But the teacher needs to come down on the boys who are teasing.

At dd's primary school they have only this year allowed the Year 6 kids to get changed seperatly and parents have been asking for this for at least 6 years.

MooncupandPizza · 09/02/2012 15:53

I think the boys need to be told that it's rude to laugh and point at other people's bodies.

I think you should maybe get her a vest to wear under her blouse but also explain all the normal stuff about her body being nothing to laugh about and lovely and hers and that the boys are silly to point and laugh, there is nothing wrong with or to be ashamed of about her body.

I'd ask the teacher about the boys' behaviour during changing, maybe but I think I'd mainly deal with it myself as much as possible as described above.

Original poster
Idasonions · 09/02/2012 15:54

I have bought her some cami vests (that she has not seen yet) but she wanted cropped tops that look like a bra as a couple of the other girls wear them.

It just seems so young to be aware. I will speak to teacher about the boys. My dd says teh teachers know the boys say it and just tell the girls to ignore them

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 09/02/2012 15:55

Are they actually supervised when changing? The teacher should tackling the boys about it.

Clawdy · 09/02/2012 15:58

The teasing should definitely be addressed. But I really think separate changing areas for Year 2 children is just not on.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/02/2012 15:59

Ahhh, I would make sure you're not being led up the garden path in a blatent attempt to get trendy crop tops. I speak as the mother of a 10yo who has been begging for bra style crop tops since she was 7yo as other girls wear them.

If the situation is as she describes then there is no reason a vest wouldn't do.

spilttheteaagain · 09/02/2012 16:00

wow, we were all still changing in the classroom together in y6. I hated that.

ZeldaUpNorth · 09/02/2012 16:01

My dd went through this when she was 5/6. I bought her one and she wore it once or twice then forgot about it. Does she usually wear a vest?

squeakytoy · 09/02/2012 16:03

I would speak to some of the other mums of girls, and find out what the majority of them wear. So long as she is wearing the same as most of the others, there is no reason for her to be especially singled out by the boys.

It is quite normal that boys are learning how to tease girls at that age, and find it very funny... doesnt make it right, but it is what has always happened, and what will always happen..

BluddyMoFo · 09/02/2012 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pooka · 09/02/2012 16:05

Aha - the cropped top plea. Grin

She should wear a vest if she is self-conscious. Cropped tops are much more likely draw comments since they only cover the chest area. Though that may be comments of admiration from the other girls rather than ridicule from the boys.

DD is 8.No development yet. She wears vests, as does a friend who has started to develop in a very minor way. I think there are several girls who wear cropped tops. DD went through a phase of asking for them last year, in year 3 but I resisted since I think they look daft and serve no real purpose.

Original poster
Idasonions · 09/02/2012 16:08

I never knew cropped tops were so desirable !

She will like or lump the vests then Grin

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 09/02/2012 16:08

I'd let her wear the cropped tops (or cami tops as they were called in my day) but I don't think you can expect the school to have them changing separately in year 2. They sometimes still need help at that age and they probably don't have the staff to adequately supervise two groups of children getting changed. I think it would be reasonable to talk to the school and ask them to have a talk about it during PSHE or something. Children should not be allowed to get away with talking or laughing about other peoples bodies in any way.

Bramshott · 09/02/2012 16:08

At DDs school they change separately from Yr 4 upwards.

LtEveDallas · 09/02/2012 16:10

Yep, vests. DD asked for crop tops, I said no (One of her classmates actually wears a cotton bra - bloody ridiculous on a 6 yr old)

R2PeePoo · 09/02/2012 16:17

Agree with everyone else-vests and talking to the school.

I asked DD (yr 2) and she says no-one in her class wears crop tops, they all have proper vests, some of them proper thermal ones.

She says no-one would dare laugh at anyone else as they are all too afraid of their teacher who would take minutes off their playtime if they did it.

WhereMyMilk · 09/02/2012 16:34

DD (7) yr3 just asked me for some vests for changing in PE. Was shocked as v hot blooded and refuses to wear any sensible clothing for the cold, so I hadn't bought her vests this year as they were unworn last year! She does say she is embarrassed now though, bless her.

diddl · 09/02/2012 18:17

Where do they change-in the classroom?

If there´s a sports hall it seems ridiculous that there aren´t separate changing areas-especially if the children are there until secondary school!

WaitingForMe · 09/02/2012 18:17

We had separate changing rooms from about Yr 4. I really don't think it's ok that they should share.

Hulababy · 09/02/2012 18:24

I think it is very difficult to have separate changing areas in the lower classes, often just not enough space int he schools.

The boys need tackling properly by the school about their comments.

I don't think older children should be changing together though. DD is in Y5 now and already had very obvious development. There is no way she would get changed in front of boys now, even with a cropped vest on. This was the case last year also. DD is in a girl's school so not an issue for us anyway, but once in juniors then schools do need to put the children's need/desire for privacy as a high priority imo.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/02/2012 18:26

Mention the teasing, but they shouldn't be separated.

mojitomania · 09/02/2012 18:30

I'd curb the "crop top" wanting to be honest at her age.

But then again I don't think they should be changing in the same area from the age of 5/6. It shouldn't be wrong at all but given our "sexed" up times and sheer early awareness, this should now happen.

Slambang · 09/02/2012 18:33

Practically, girls and boys changing in separate areas mean 2 teachers overseeing the children in 2 separate spaces. Is that practicable?

If you give children at the age of 6 or 7 years old the idea that this needs to happen, then you are giving them the message that there is something rude and funny about their bodies. Much better to teach them that you NEVER laugh about other people's bodies whatever their shape, size or gender.