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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask the school to seperate yr 2 girls and boys when changing for PE

142 replies

Idasonions · 09/02/2012 15:50

my dd is almost 7 and wants me to buy her cropped tops to wear under her school blouse as 'the boys laugh and point at the girls boobies' when they change for PE.

My dd is getting distressed about this, She is completley flat chested still and I dont want to buy her a bra like top but I dont want her to be self concious either.

WIBU to speak to the teacher ?
Is this normal behaviour ?

I am guessing they wont have facilities to change seperatly but I dont want her to feel like this for another year before she moves to middle school.

OP posts:
BrightnessFalls · 09/02/2012 18:35

Its too cold for cropped tops!! my nieces 7.8 and 10 are all in thermal vests and loving them. They have never been arsed about cropped tops.

entropygirl · 09/02/2012 18:44

I was watching starship troopers the other day and struck by the shower/dorm scenes where the guys and girls just get on with it all in together.

It would bet better for society to deal with bodies and sex in an entirely more mature way altogether...I think that would start with abolishing gender specific changing altogether....and separating 8 yo is a step in quite the opposite direction.

Presumably if we were totally used to seeing bodies of the opposite sex all the way through school we would just get over it and have an entirely healthier approach to nakedness.

nailak · 09/02/2012 18:46

Ok why don't we lead by example. Let's start a campaign for mixed changing rooms at gums and swimming pools. I mean there's nothing rude.or funny about it.

Denj33 · 09/02/2012 18:52

I agree with talking to school, maybe they are not aware of it. If they are made aware there might be something they can do. In DS2s yr 3 class, boys and girls change separately

I also think vests are a better option at such a young age.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/02/2012 18:53

There would be nothing problematic about that for me if the gymns and pools were for children.

TheParanoidAndroid · 09/02/2012 18:54

6 years old?
Bras and boobies?

What the actual fuck....?

Nellabutterfly · 09/02/2012 18:58

Good grief, separate changing areas at 5/6?? Why?

In Europe (Austria/Germany anyway) little girls go to the beach in just bikini bottoms - that's all that is considered necessary. No difference between boys and girls from the waist up at that age!

Definitely have a word with the teacher - the boys' behaviour is completely unacceptable.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 09/02/2012 19:06

Just checked with DS1, his mixed yr 3/4 class all change together. Don't know what happens in the yr 5/6 classes though!

IIRC girls and boys got changed in separate rooms in yr 6 at my school. The girls went unsupervised to a room down the hall, and the boys stayed in the classroom with the teacher.

Original poster
Idasonions · 09/02/2012 20:05

it makes me sad that at 6 my dd is aware and ashamed of getting changed at school Sad

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 09/02/2012 20:10

but she wanted cropped tops that look like a bra as a couple of the other girls wear them.

shes 6 and wants a 'bra' - lovvie you are the parent - shes just a child.

TBH my port of call - and I hate the nanny state - would be the Head and a clamp down on inappropriate clothing - and I know its going to be difficult to clamp down on underwear.

My Y6 still gets changed with the girls - never heard (of) anything untoward being said by either gender.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/02/2012 20:18

A crop top is just a short vest in my mind, i cant quite see a problem with itConfused

DeWe · 09/02/2012 20:29

At my dc's school they stop changing together in year 6. BUT it's actually causing more problems than it's solved. Dd1's got a male teacher and the games teacher is male. So there's no one to supervise the girls getting changed. She says certain girls are making far more innappropriate comments on other's bodies than any of the boys ever did.

jamdonut · 09/02/2012 20:33

Girls should at least be wearing vests/crop tops, (especially in this weathe!), but what is really awful is when KS1 girls are wearing 'bras' and I have actually seen thongs at this age!

Admittedly there should be no teasing from boys...that's really innappropriate behaviour, especially at that age.

But what are parents thinking of, sending children to school in that kind of underwear? They know they have to change for P.E.!

At that age some still need help with dressing and undressing, so to separate them out would be a nightmare. It is hard enough to do it quickly when they are all in the same classroom as it is! Children ,in my experience, don't seem to mind or try hiding themselves away.

I don't remember being embarrassed by changing in the same classroom as boys when I was that age, and we used to have to do indoor p.e. in pants and vests. It wasn't until I was in what is now year 6, that I began to feel uncomfortable, but that was only because I was an early developer.

Do six year olds really feel embarrassed, or have they been conditioned to think this by over-anxious parents? Hmm

VivaLeBeaver · 09/02/2012 20:36

Apart from because of cold weather I don't see why girls this age should be wearing crop tops or vests. There is no need apart from warmth.

faeriemoo · 09/02/2012 20:37

I wouldn't say that they should be separated at age 6/7, or at least that there should be special provisions put in place to give them separate areas.

I bet the girls are just as guilty at laughing at the boys, and even the other girls!

Original poster
Idasonions · 09/02/2012 21:00

there are cropped tops that look like bras for 5 / 6 yr olds. I will be steering clear of those.

I agree the boys need to be told off about this

OP posts:
PizzaSlut · 09/02/2012 22:33

YABU, my 7yo tomorrow reguarly shares a bath with her 5yo brother and goes for sleepovers with her 7yo boy friend. Not once have they compared bodies. They are still little children and essentially their bodies are the same.

DialsMavis · 09/02/2012 22:42

She just wants a bra top because her friends have them! It takes me back to the 1980s... She really is me if she comes home wanting a spiral perm and to be a majorette (was never allowed any of it... all too common apparently) then ask her to please give my childhood back Grin

NotMostPeople · 09/02/2012 22:46

Out of interest can I ask why some of you object to crop tops? Both my dds have worn them and I really can't see what the problem is.

CardyMow · 10/02/2012 02:03

Here infants change together, Juniors change separately. Adequate supervision, because the the boys from one class go into the other class, and the girls from that class go to the first class. So then you have 30 girls in one classroom, and 30 boys in the other classroom, still with a teacher in each - but when PE lesson is on, one class will be outside and the other inside. So no timetabling issues or lack of space, class 3a do indoor PE while class 3b do outdoor PE, and vice versa. Works really well IMO.

tigerlillyd02 · 10/02/2012 02:08

I think it's normal child behaviour. My niece who is in Yr 2 got teased by the boys for wearing a crop top. However, she's quite a strong headed little girl and didn't seem upset but displayed her disgust at their rude and silly behaviour.

I was surprised that, this day and age, they changed for P.E with the boys. I don't think there's anything wrong with it and that's how it was when I was at school, but it just surprised me given how over protective everyone seems now.

VivaLeBeaver · 10/02/2012 06:22

I object to crop tops at that age as there is no reason for them. They have nothing to cover up. Its like a premature sexulising of 6 year olds.

TroublesomeEx · 10/02/2012 06:36

Have to say, I agree with Trois.

TroublesomeEx · 10/02/2012 06:39

NotMostPeople they mimic bras. Boys and girls wear vests, only girls wear crop tops. Vests are to keep young children of both genders warm in the winter, crop tops are designed to support small breasts and protect dignity.

SilentBoob · 10/02/2012 06:39

When I asked my mum if I could have a crop top she said that I'd only just had a haircut and that was that.

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