to ask the school to seperate yr 2 girls and boys when changing for PE

[Idasonions]

my dd is almost 7 and wants me to buy her cropped tops to wear under her school blouse as 'the boys laugh and point at the girls boobies' when they change for PE.

My dd is getting distressed about this, She is completley flat chested still and I dont want to buy her a bra like top but I dont want her to be self concious either.

WIBU to speak to the teacher ?
Is this normal behaviour ?

I am guessing they wont have facilities to change seperatly but I dont want her to feel like this for another year before she moves to middle school.

I would totally be talking to the teacher and getting this behaviour sorted out as in my book it is totally inappropriate and unacceptable. Six year olds do not have 'boobies' their chest are just the same as little boy's chests at that age. Of course your dd is flat chested! The only children who are not flat chested at six are over weight, and that's just as true for boys as it is for girls.

My dd is 11 and her friends are only just starting to wear crop tops and training bras because they are gradually starting to need them. However they are at a non uniform school so they get to wear what they please. I can remember being desperate to wear white socks with holes in and slips in junior school because the other girls did - interestingly neither of my children have ever made any request of that nature. I do wonder if it's an odd side effect of uniform.

In my DS's school the junior girls get changed seperstely from the boys.

Now this is a very small school so thay all do PE at the same time so obviously a more developed year 6 girl will not want to get changed in front of all the boys.

I don't understand why your DD can't just wear a vest anyway OP especially in this weather.

By aged 10 I had started menstruating. I would have been mortified if I had had to change in front of boys. They should be separated for that reason from about 9, I would think - just in case. Besides, some children start becoming quite body conscious round about then, I think.

OP, I reckon the teacher should definitely stop the teasing, but I don't think it necessary to separate them yet. Having said that I am a childminder and my after school children are aged 6 or 7 and they are already showing self consciousness about knickers and pants being seen, and the girls in particular like to get dressed where the boys cannot see them. I understand and accept this.

my dd has ezcema so finds anything tight uncomfortable and itchy - she tried on the cami vests but they made her itch as 'too tight' so I have to go and get a bigger size. So after half term she will be wearing baggy cami vests

I do need to speak to the teacher as well but my dd will be horrified if I do

My son is 8 yr3. On PE days he will not wear briefs, he will wear boxers. This is because some girls and boys laugh at him . They say briefs are for little boys.

Here (Germany) primary school is 6-10.

For my children the sports hall had separate changing rooms.

One teacher, no problems!

Many girls had hit puberty/started periods before they left.

DD (8 and in Yr3 now) started wearing vests for PE last year - I think it just must be that year that they start becoming body conscious (usually started by one or two pointing things out that then spreads around the class) With DD it was a couple of girls teasing that started all the girls becoming coy during PE (and she's not at any other time) FWIW she has crop tops too thanks to my MIL ignoring my requests not to buy them. She swaps between them and vests.

If she finds anything tight uncomfortable and itchy, she will hate a cropped top!

DD2 was bought crop tops at 7 when big sis needed a bra.
They were just for fun. If we don't take it seriously neither will they.

I don't think that a crop top offers any support at all and they look far more like a vest/cami than a bra, my girls felt that vests were old fashioned. Honestly I don't get why wearing a crop top sexualises a young girl, if seeing a child in a crop top makes someone feel the child looks like a sexual being then they're the ones with the problem.

"if seeing a child in a crop top makes someone feel the child looks like a sexual being then they're the ones with the problem."

The point is that they are simply designed to cover up the chest area, implying there is something the child has to hide. Not that seeing the child in one makes you think they are a sexual being. Do they make crop tops for boys or are they allowed to wear a far more practical and warm vest?

Agree with soupdragon and folk girl and others.

Crop tops sreve no purpose (warmth or support) other than suggesting that there is something about a prepubescent girl's chest that necessitates coverage, for modesty. Which is ridiculous. People who a anti are not sexualising the child.

At DD's school they changed together in their class rooms until the end of Yr 3. Now she is in Yr 4 they have their own changing rooms next to their sports gear. Hasn't been an issue for her.

I once had a yr 3 child whose parents insisted she changed separately to the boys. This made her different to the others and she got teased because of it. Until yr 4 there is no need to change separately. There aren't the facilities or staff and most parents would prefer their children be fully supervised. By year 4 some children are starting to develop and they become more aware and should be separated. I am shocked to hear that some yr 6's are still changing together though. I would be uncomfortable with this. How do the girls with sanitary pads cope? It's embarrassing enough in secondary school in separate changing rooms.

Can you not persuade her to wear a vest. Maybe compromise on on with little straps?

In my kids school they seperate the kids changing from Y3 onwards.

As I say I bought DD2 cropped tops when I bought DD1 her first bra just so she got a present to.
It was before all this fuss blew up in the press.
Sometimes she wore a cropped top, sometimes a vest and most often nothing.
Most of the time I only know from what's in the washing.
I repeat it's not a big deal unless parents make it so.
They will start covering up full time when it feels right to them, their peer group and their changing arrangements.
Personally I'm keeping out of it DD2 is far more aware of fashion and social niceties than I will ever be!

Modesty is a social convention that will probably be ingrained in many children by six or so. It doesn't need to be a sexual matter. I'm certainly trying to give my 5 yr old ds the impression that it is no longer acceptable to be naked in public. I don't think I'm sexualizing him, just teaching him social conventions, like not eating with your mouth open.

At my school and my ds's school children wore PE uniform all day on PE days until they were 8 or 9, at which point they changed separately.

Imo she is playing you to get a crop to/bra

FGS. You talk to the teacher about sexual bullying and be very very serious. Boys should not be talking like this, it's disgusting.

Oh fgs they are 6, I hardly think anything said in the OP could be described as sexual bullying.

But the point is that girls can be "modest" in the same way as boys if that is important to you as a parent. They can wear vests.

Boobies? Not sexual bullying. Frankly if my dd came home talking about this I would be in school like a shot.

Really, a six year old boy says boobies and you'd be in the school like a shot? Six year olds giggle, if this was happening in yr 4 then that's a whole different thing. It was probably nothing more than six year olds behaving like six year olds and hopefully the teacher pointed out that it's inappropriate. This sounds much more like the OP's dd fancies crop top.

ken we have middle school here so it is different, so from yr 5 onwards there are separate changing rooms and quite rightly so, my ds would be mortified to get underused in front of GIRLS!