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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask the school to seperate yr 2 girls and boys when changing for PE

142 replies

Idasonions · 09/02/2012 15:50

my dd is almost 7 and wants me to buy her cropped tops to wear under her school blouse as 'the boys laugh and point at the girls boobies' when they change for PE.

My dd is getting distressed about this, She is completley flat chested still and I dont want to buy her a bra like top but I dont want her to be self concious either.

WIBU to speak to the teacher ?
Is this normal behaviour ?

I am guessing they wont have facilities to change seperatly but I dont want her to feel like this for another year before she moves to middle school.

OP posts:

BluddyMoFo · 10/02/2012 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 10/02/2012 12:19

underused? Where the fuck did THAT come from - I HATE my new computer and its sodding auto correct!

weblette · 10/02/2012 12:25

For me the key issue is the teacher trivialising the teasing. It's not up to the girls to ignore it, the boys needs to be challenged and stopped straightaway.

BluddyMoFo · 10/02/2012 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HillyWallaby · 10/02/2012 12:31

I think it's sad and wrong that children of only 7 should be stressing at boys laughing at their boobs, and sad and wrong that the asnwer to the problem should be a cropped top that is intended to look a bit like a bra - surely that just exacerbates the problem of early sexualisation even more?

What's wrong with a good old fashioned vest for crying out loud? These children are 7, not 11!!!

BluddyMoFo · 10/02/2012 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 10/02/2012 12:33

mofes you'd tut at my ds, he is still wearing short sleeved shirts under his school jumpers as it's sooooooo hot at school!

MurmuringClothDoll · 10/02/2012 12:36

I plan on buying the more t shirty vests....the ones that look like outerwear when this arises with mine.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 12:37

ahhh the old "I want bra tops but I know mum wont buy them so I'll get all angsty about changing infront of the boys" technique, I know it well, never got me the bra tops I wanted though boooooo!

Seperating them when they are this young is only going to make it all the more mysterious, but I agree the boys do need to be tackled, maybe have a word with the teacher.

In your OP you mention she is completely flat chested, I thought all girls this age are, dont tell me they start getting boobs at this age now?

MurmuringClothDoll · 10/02/2012 12:38

Bluddy you're not! I saw a girl the other day with none on...why? It's freezing! OP get a vest on the kid!

MrsHeffley · 10/02/2012 12:40

I was going to say what's wrong with a vest,all 3 of mine(boys/girls) are wearing vests at the moment.

Sorry I think this is a complete over reaction.I have 2 X 8 year old boys and a 7 year old girl who often dress,see each other naked etc.They're all very comfortable with their bodies and now and again said dd laughs at dangly willies(once in a blue moon) but that is it.The boys are less likely to and more likely to cover up,they simply don't find girls bits that interesting.

I've taught across the entire KS1 age range and to be frank the amount of time anything is on show is a matter of seconds,time is so tight most kids are scurrying to get themselves changed.I seriously can't believe that most 7 year old boys will have the a) inclination to point and laugh session after session or b) the time.

So sorry think op is making a mountain out of a molehill,get her some vests and be done with it if she's that worried.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 12:40

..... at talk of sexual bullying though, sexual bullying, over the use of "boobies" by 6 year old boys....really ? Id have something to say if anyone ever accused my 6 y/o DS of being a sexual bully because he laughed at a pair of boobs

Fgs.

HillyWallaby · 10/02/2012 12:41

Haha Gribble - I thought that was an odd thing to say as well - of course she'd be flat chested. She's 7!!!

Gribble · 10/02/2012 12:45

glad its not just me, at 6 / 7 Id bloody well hope that little girls are flat chested!

MrsHeffley · 10/02/2012 12:47

Gribble I agree,I'd be down that school so fast and on them like a ton of bricks if they accused any of my 3 of sexual bullying.

Kids laugh,find merriment in anything,it's the beauty of being a kid.

I'd worry more about the kid that had serious problems to the extent of wanting to cover up (because a boy has said boobies)and a mother in a fret about it to be frank.

canihavesome · 10/02/2012 14:41

If this was really about teasing then she would be happy with a vest. I think she is trying it on because she want a crop top. When dd was in YR a girl in her class had a bra, not a crop top, an actual bra that fastened at the back. Apparently she is too old for vests (5yo). DD thought it was hilarious at 5 but I can imagine her being more covetous about it at 7.

PosiePumblechook · 10/02/2012 14:54

If a continuous pattern of 'boobs' was said to my dd everytime she changed for PE, damned right, I would in like a shot. These things need to be taken seriously, as much as racist and disablist language. Why should any gorl have to put up with the 'merriment of boobies'. I wonder if there's merriment in 'dirty skin' or 'pastey face'???

Gribble · 10/02/2012 15:02

Yes Posie, its exactly the same

ShowOfUmblestAnds · 10/02/2012 15:04

DD wears thermal vests and longjohns. I will stop dressing her in them at around 19. She's in reception and they change separately btw.

PosiePumblechook · 10/02/2012 15:24

Nah Gribble we really should ignore boobies because it's not like adolescents in this country have a piss poor view of women... fuck it, it's only a little girl who has been made to feel uncomfortable, making a big fuss about nothing, let them carry on.

BluddyMoFo · 10/02/2012 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PosiePumblechook · 10/02/2012 16:09

No, but they are being made to feel uncomfortable about being girls by boys pointing and laughing. It's completely unacceptable and should be dealt with swiftly.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 16:11

oh for heavens sake, honestly listen to yourself its 7 year old boys having a giggle about "boobies". If they carry on when they are 14 you may have a point but considering we are talking about the same people who sniff each others farts and rate them out of 10 and play "smell the cheese", then it is all a big fuss over nothing to use your words.

I agree that they need to be told not to make fun of the girls, but seriously, sexual bullys, aged 7, over laughing about boobies? Its so ridiculous it belongs in The Sun.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 16:12

Im sure the delicate little angels would howl with laughter when they see a stray willy Posie, so it will even up

Hulababy · 10/02/2012 16:18

BluddyMoFo = DD would never have been wearing a vest. She has never felt the cold tbh, and has not worn one from being quite young. Was only as she started to develop that she decided she would prefer something to cover up with and wears cropped vests, from about Y4. She's 9y and Y5 now and we are on the verge of having to go and look into first bras.

I don't think it is sexual bullying. They are still very young. It is teasing and giggling certainly and yes, that does need to be stopped, and the boys doing it talked to. In the same way as if it were children pointing and giggling about willies, they need telling not to.

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