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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP wants me to pick his dirty clothes up after him.

208 replies

Hairynigel · 08/02/2012 17:46

Boring old housework AIBU, sorry.
I'm a sahm with a 19mo ds, Dp runs his own company full time. I do all housework, (sometimes on weekends he will pitch in with washing up, tidying etc) I cook tea most nights, do all ds's bath times etc.

Anyway, dp has a habit of getting changed after work and leaving hs clothes artfully sprawled out on the bedroom floor. I then take it upon myself to shove said clothes at the bottom of his wardrobe where they can no longer bother me.
Dp came home today and started having a moan about this, apparently looking after ds only takes up a small percentage of my day Hmm and I should make it a priority to do more housework! So basically he wants me to start sniffing the armpits of his tops or crotch of his underwear to see if it needs washing or not, then wash it for him, then iron it and then put it away neatly.

AIBU for thinking he can pick up his own damn clothes and put them in the wash basket himself? Apparently his days are stressful enough without having to do this as well...

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 08/02/2012 17:47

YANBU. He'll be asking you to wipe his arse next.

ViviPru · 08/02/2012 17:48

YANBU. Would a linen basket fit in the corner of the room where he usually chucks the garms? Cot out the middleman as it were? Considering this option for my own DP

startwig1982 · 08/02/2012 17:48

What on earth???? If this wasn't bad enough, he wants you to sniff his clothes?? Hmm If this is real, I suggest you give him what for. and make him take you out for dinner to make up for it

Whatmeworry · 08/02/2012 17:49

AIBU for thinking he can pick up his own damn clothes and put them in the wash basket himself?

If it aint in the washbasket it ain't for washing.

Sorted.

alarkaspree · 08/02/2012 17:49

Picking up your own clothes is manners, not housework. He is being an arse.

sittinginthesun · 08/02/2012 17:49

Oh god, I used to get this too! I refuse, leave it on the floor in a pile and only wash it if it is in the bathroom. When it is washed and ironed, I leave it on the bed to put away.

TheNewMrsC · 08/02/2012 17:51

I feel your pain I have a DH that sounds awfully similar . I know it's easier said than done I have tried these types of manipulations before but I always give in , but if you can stick it for a while - try not picking the clothes up . At all . When he runs out of clean clothes tell him you only wash clothes that are in the washing basket .

Dillydaydreaming · 08/02/2012 17:52

You need a weekend away love, without baby so he is left in charge. Make sure you leave him a long list of stuff he has to do as well as care for the baby.

imoanruby · 08/02/2012 17:52

Dh never picks up his wet towels or dirty clothes, they just get left over the end of the bed or on the bedroom floor.

I always pick them up and put in dirty laundry basket but i am a sahm and i just figure it goes along with my other housework.

Original poster
Hairynigel · 08/02/2012 17:52

I said exactly the same thing to him pan!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 08/02/2012 17:52

He's joking, right?

I always say, 'W is for wife, not wench!' and equally, M is for mother, not maid! Grin

DH worked that one out a loooong time ago, when he didn't have any clean pants! As someone else said, 'not in the basket - it doesn't get washed.

TheresASpareChairOverThere · 08/02/2012 17:53

My 8 year old is expected to put his own stuff in the washing basket. He is BU.

JustHecate · 08/02/2012 17:54

oh you are so not being unreasonable.

Fair enough, if you have agreed an arrangement where one earns all the family money and the other does an equivalent number of hours in housework and childcare and the rest is split 50/50 - but dropping your clothes on the floor and expecting them to be gathered for you is disrespectful. It smacks of someone who feels that you are their skivvy.

Gather his dirty clothes from the floor? Sniff them?

Who the hell does he think he is? You are very restrained to put them in his wardrobe.

I would be putting them in the bin.

And then shoving the bin up his arse.

GirlWithPointyShoes · 08/02/2012 17:54

Just say "No" and continue as normal.

YANBU.

bamboobutton · 08/02/2012 17:56

i kick DH's grots under the bed if he leaves them chucked on the floor.

years i've been doing this and he still moans that he has no clean socks and pants and for years i have been saying "if it's not in the basket..."

no way am i scrabbling about on the floor picking up his undies and risking my hand possibly touching skiddies

YANBU!! but i wouldn't hold your breath that he will suddenly become tidy.

ChunkyPickle · 08/02/2012 17:57

Hell no. There's a difference between doing housework and cleaning up someone's personal mess.

If it's not in the basket, it doesn't get washed (although I confess I do end up doing a sock/towel sweep on occasion myself)

Asinine · 08/02/2012 17:59

Fair enough, you sniff, wash and iron his...

And he sniffs, washes and irons yours Grin

What could possibly be more romantic?

Confused
TheNewMrsC · 08/02/2012 18:02

I crack up at things like that my DH does too . For example , I take dry clothes out the washer drier fold/iron them and put them away . DH takes stuff out to put his uniform in to wash - he leaves the stuff in a heap on the table . And it would stay there forever if i didn't put it away . Angry it's so annoying . But the dirty clothes thing is much worse I have a washing basking in our room and the bathroom otherwise I would probably have this same problem.

ISayHolmes · 08/02/2012 18:03

"19 month old DS"...
"apparently looking after ds only takes up a small percentage of my day"..

Although this may make me sound slightly irrational I think I would have exploded at anyone who told me looking after any of mine lot at that age was "a small percentage of my day". I'd tell him to get stuffed over the cleaning up after his mess issue, but I'd also address this (perhaps by leaving him at the weekend for the day to deal with everything).

Spuddybean · 08/02/2012 18:03

I have a similar but different problem. DP drops clothes all over the floor (despite having a linen basket). But he does not care particularly if he has no clean clothes and will wear dirty ones off the floor. So when we go out (nice or not) he often has dirty clothes on with food dribbles down them or is a bit whiffy.

This is why i do the washing. He never asks or expects it done but also doesn't do it either. He also never puts the clean stuff away - altho i don't do that i just pick it up on the floor and he dresses from there!

I will be watching this thread with interest. OP if i were you i would say no way.

Spuddybean · 08/02/2012 18:05

*i meant PILE it up on the floor.

Gumby · 08/02/2012 18:07

Imoanruby - you're nuts
Why can't he do it?
What's shite message to send to the kids that you'll pick up his dirty washing
So disrespectful

WMDinthekitchen · 08/02/2012 18:08

How demeaning to pick up someone else's dirty laundry and as for sniffing his clothes - do you really mean that? I would put a tasteful laundry container in the bedroom and tell him to put the clothes straight in there. If he doesn't tell him that any clothes you pick up from the floor will be put in the wheelie bin. If he calls your bluff you must do it or, wearing gloves, cut the crotch out of his pants and trousers

Magneto · 08/02/2012 18:11

I will wash clothes that have been left on the floor but I will wash ALL clothes that have been left on the floor. This annoys dh greatly as I am forever washing things that he considers not to be dirty enough to warrant washing. How I'm supposed to tell the difference I don't know so I just carry on washing everything not in the drawers like it's supposed to be.

When dh does the washing, he only washes clothes that are in the wash basket. Considering that we both leave clothes on the bedroom floor, this means that not much actually gets washed which is of course why he does it - it's less work for him Hmm

RedBlanket · 08/02/2012 18:19

Not in the basket it doesn't get washed. I don't pick anything except my own stuff and school uniform off the floor.