DP wants me to pick his dirty clothes up after him.

[Hairynigel]

Boring old housework AIBU, sorry.
I'm a sahm with a 19mo ds, Dp runs his own company full time. I do all housework, (sometimes on weekends he will pitch in with washing up, tidying etc) I cook tea most nights, do all ds's bath times etc.

Anyway, dp has a habit of getting changed after work and leaving hs clothes artfully sprawled out on the bedroom floor. I then take it upon myself to shove said clothes at the bottom of his wardrobe where they can no longer bother me.
Dp came home today and started having a moan about this, apparently looking after ds only takes up a small percentage of my day and I should make it a priority to do more housework! So basically he wants me to start sniffing the armpits of his tops or crotch of his underwear to see if it needs washing or not, then wash it for him, then iron it and then put it away neatly.

AIBU for thinking he can pick up his own damn clothes and put them in the wash basket himself? Apparently his days are stressful enough without having to do this as well...

My DP doesn't care either and leaves everything on the floor on his side of the bed. So dirty stuff dropped there when he goes to bed gets mixed up with clean stuff I have left on his side of the bed for him to put away (wishful thinking!) which gets pushed on the floor when he goes to bed!

He also used to leave all his dirty clothes in his truck, like jumpers and coats he'd worn out to work then taken off, which then got dumped in the garage. This stopped when a family of mice decided they all made a very nice nest and shredded loads of it!

I'm training my DD and DS (5 and 3) to put all their dirty clothes straight in the laundry basket so DS future wife will not have the same problem!

Wash his clothes, but wash them badly....coloureds in with his whites, boil wash his sweaters so they shrink, etc.
He will get the message and if he's still moaning he could always do his own laundry.

math you should lease out your cat. Does he pee in discarded right-by-the-front-door shoes as well?

I don't pick up after my husband or my daughter, I am not a maid for either of them!

Clothes have to be in the wash basket, not still buttoned up, or socks half inside out.

Years ago my husband ran out of clean socks as every single one of them was on the floor, I remember hoovering up the bedroom - I picked them up to hoover and put them back. My daughter has left her school tie on the bathroom floor, and I left it, don't see why I should pick it up!

DH thinks he would like me to give up work, stay home and service his needs like a 1950's Stepford wife.

He can want all he likes, it is never going to happen.

He's got over that now though.

We have just had a huge row about this very same thing (I'm not a sahp, I work 22.5-25hours a week, so part time, DS is 22 months). I do all the laundry and ironing and cooking and cleaning... I'm a bloody mug... Well no-sir-eeee not any more. I did all the laundry and had an empty basket; when dirty clothes he'd 'hid, dumped, dropped' suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I now have a full washing basket again.

I'm furious... Never again! His bloody sister is visiting us soon and I'm not going to do anything.. He can do it all. The food shopping, the cleaning, the bedlinen etc... clean the bathroom you name it.

He won't take me for granted again!

I've just had this exact argument with my DH. Big heap of clothes by his side of the bed; clean stuff I'd washed and left folded on the bed for him to put away, half-worn stuff he'd discarded on coming home from work; dirty pants and socks...I got cross about it every single time I saw it.

In the end, I told him I was sick of it, we wouldn't let the kids get away with that behaviour so he wasn't going to either. He tried to argue. So I gave him one week to sort it, otherwise I would put the whole lot out for the bin-men. His choice; I'd be happy either way, because either way the washing-heap would be gone. And I would have done it, too.

He must have realised I was serious, because the heap has now gone.

I work part-time and from home, so I'm more than happy to deal with the laundry. But I am not, not, not having a washing-mountain in my bedroom.

spuddy: This is why i do the washing. He never asks or expects it done but also doesn't do it either.

it's the same here. DH doesn't ask me to wash anything and for example would continue to wear a jumper or jeans until they were stinking if it was left to him :(
We have two wash baskets and after years of my nagging complaining, he now throws clothes on the floor next to the wash basket.
I've posted about this before but nowadays the washing is sorted into three piles: whites, colours and his clothes. His go into a big checked bag and he takes them for a service wash at the launderette every weekend.

(And now I realise all my semi-colons are in the wrong places. Sorry to all my fellow pedants. Fine bloody writer I am...)

Tell him he needs to pay for a maid if he wants one. Oh yea, and a nanny....

I wash mine and DC's :o

Just realised that IABU...had a fit at DH for putting darks and whites in the dryer together, omitting fabric condition and not smoothing out the clothes on the rack to my satisfaction when he hung them up. He has just sorted out the backet of clean things into each owner's pile and put his own away and he put's his own clothes into. 4 baskets of coloured and white cottons and easycares.
I was very annoyed about his lack of care before reading this.
OP your DH is taking the piss big time!

yanbu, it is manners. He is trying to show some weird kind of dominance, where you are not his equal but his servant

YANBU.
Your dp is totally out of order he is treating you like a servant.
I agree wih the poster who said you need a girl's weekend away and leave your dc with dp.

Christ alive. Some of you live with absolute pigs.

Take the scissors and...

Petrean my OH does that too, puts dirty socks and boxers in drawers and the top of the wardrobe! We got carpet fitted in our room last week so everything had to be sorted and we have rearranged the bedroom and we are both so much tidier! I am untidy, and he is worse than me, but we are both making a huge effort!

at chocolatehobnobs I would offer you a but I think you've got the whole pack anyway

yabu for even giving this shite your headroom

yanbu.

My XP used to leave his dirty, oily clothes on the floor.

I told him that if it wasn't in the laundry basket I wouldn't be washing it.

He went to work with dirty clothes day, after day, after day, after day. He simply couldn't get it in his head that I wasn't going to pick his crap up off the floor .

And what af said.

Don´t tell me, he moved straight from his mum to you?

Otherwise if he used to pick up his clothes, why would he be so disrespectful as to stop?

YANBU
My DH always puts his clothes in his wash basket and it's in a separate room!!
But he is guilty for assuming I have hours and hours to just tidy up and not look after 3 DCs!? Irritates the hell out of me!
Men

I found a balled up t shirt stuffed under the sofa once. It had been used to mop something up, as it was still slightly damp in the middle. It smelled like it had lived and died.

I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was like when Karl Kennedy's sheep went missing on Neighbours.

CASSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Not sure why some of you stayed living with these blokes and decided to have kids with them. I have always worked though, but if I didn't can't imagine not getting stroppy with my bloke if he suddenly expected me to pick up his dirty washing.

I agree I would never have wanted to live with a man who had never lived on his own and been responsible for doing his own housework and cooking. I am not a mummy replacement.