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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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The relationship section of MN makes my blood boil.

868 replies

aaaaaaaaargh · 30/01/2012 19:42

I will never set virtual foot in there again. I have imprints on my forehead of the keyboard from where I have been banging my head against it. It makes no SENSE!!! I have a jaw like Jacob Marley. There are so many threads like this:

OP: The other day I was a miserable cow, kids were stressing me. He came home to a complete shithole and then proceeded to clean up. I could sense he was a bit miffed at the state of the house so I told him to cook his own fucking dinner. He wanted to tell me about a problem with work, but I was pissed off and told him I wasn't interested, tell someone who gives a shit. He then shouted that I didn't give a toss about him and stomped upstairs. I can't live like this anymore.

Reply: He cleaned up?? How controlling is he? He then tried to make you listen to his work problems? What about YOUR problems?

Reply: He's emotionally abusive, but you know this don't you.

Reply: Definitely controlling, he doesn't care about what you want. He wanted to make you clean up and listen to his problems. Why the fuck are you cooking his dinner?

Reply: He shouted at you? This is abusive behaviour. You don't have to put up with this, you need to really think about how to proceed. Has he shouted before? This isn't normal.

Reply: Well actually, you weren't too pleasant to him. Perhaps you should look at YOUR behaviour.

Reply (to above poster): Great support there, this woman lives with an emotional abuser. Don't speak if you haven't got anything constructive to say. Don't listen to that poster OP.

Etc, etc....

I know that a lot of people in seriously abusive or violent situations have been helped in this section, and that that is an extremely good thing, before you point that out to me.

But some of the replies on other threads!!! Madness.

OP posts:
ChickensGoMeh · 30/01/2012 19:44

I have never seen an OP in relationships like that. Ever.

Anniegetyourgun · 30/01/2012 19:45

Tell you what then, don't read it. Sorted.

StrandedBear · 30/01/2012 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClothesOfSand · 30/01/2012 19:46
Hmm
Thingumy · 30/01/2012 19:47

you missed out 'leave the bastard'

TheSpreadingChestnutTree · 30/01/2012 19:47

Link to one thread that is like this, and I'll believe you

hardboiledpossum · 30/01/2012 19:48

link?

LaurieFairyCake · 30/01/2012 19:48

Have you er..... paraphrased a lot with that description? Hmm

AThingInYourLife · 30/01/2012 19:49

No, mostly I see posts from women in horrible relationships getting good, supportive, insightful advice.

Then some complete gobshite comes along and insists it's completely normal for women to put up with being treated like shite by their husband.

Gapants · 30/01/2012 19:50

What a load of old crap in a polyester bag.

Ilovedaintynuts · 30/01/2012 19:50

I agree. I often read the OP, start reading the replies and then quickly scroll back to the OP because I feel like I must have missed something Grin

AyeRobot · 30/01/2012 19:50
Hmm

(I have pictures turned off and wanted to join the barbershop choir)

I would agree with you OP, if your supposition bore any relation to even one thread started like that. But it doesn't, so I don't.

footballmum · 30/01/2012 19:51

Uh oh. You're in for a whole heap of trouble now! you do realise many of the same people post on AIBU, don't you?

LingDiLong · 30/01/2012 19:51

Absolute and total bollocks. So far from the truth you should win some kind of prize for the most bollocks-filled OP ever on the history of mumsnet.

squeakytoy · 30/01/2012 19:51

I agree with the OP. There are a heck of a lot of threads like that on there unfortunately, BUT there are also plenty of sane posters who do try to point out alternative views.

gettingeasier · 30/01/2012 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

overmydeadbody · 30/01/2012 19:51

Link to that post please.

I read a lot of the relationship threads, I have never read one that went the way you described in your OP.

Is this about the thread by the woman who isn't allowed to do anything in the house?

ArtexMonkey · 30/01/2012 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thingumy · 30/01/2012 19:52

No need for that gettingeasier however angry you are.

EquestrianStatue · 30/01/2012 19:52

C'mon then, link us to a thread where that's happened.

No? Thought not!

ClothesOfSand · 30/01/2012 19:52

Well I've just opened the first two threads in relationships about a wife and husband living together; the others were about extended family. Both marriage ones were about extremely serious situations.

I suggest you link to any thread that is vaguely like what you describe.

RitaMorgan · 30/01/2012 19:53

Please link to an example.

ArtVandelay · 30/01/2012 19:53

Thats the thing, though, isn't it? Its a forum, the advice givers are just people giving their opinions. Its not a team of psychiatrists or social workers or whatever. What do you expect to happen - people to only give advice if they have some sort of professional qualification? I think considering its limitations as a forum it does some pretty marvellous work.

Besides, what you describe doesn't sound like anything I've read there and I've visited for a good two years or so. Maybe try another forum thats more to your taste?

ArtexMonkey · 30/01/2012 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crashdoll · 30/01/2012 19:54

I now feel I should venture over to the relationship section if it's that exciting.

I do get the gist of what you're saying, OP. People here tend to shout CONTROLLING a bit too quickly.

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