The relationship section of MN makes my blood boil.

[aaaaaaaaargh]

I will never set virtual foot in there again. I have imprints on my forehead of the keyboard from where I have been banging my head against it. It makes no SENSE!!! I have a jaw like Jacob Marley. There are so many threads like this:

OP: The other day I was a miserable cow, kids were stressing me. He came home to a complete shithole and then proceeded to clean up. I could sense he was a bit miffed at the state of the house so I told him to cook his own fucking dinner. He wanted to tell me about a problem with work, but I was pissed off and told him I wasn't interested, tell someone who gives a shit. He then shouted that I didn't give a toss about him and stomped upstairs. I can't live like this anymore.

Reply: He cleaned up?? How controlling is he? He then tried to make you listen to his work problems? What about YOUR problems?

Reply: He's emotionally abusive, but you know this don't you.

Reply: Definitely controlling, he doesn't care about what you want. He wanted to make you clean up and listen to his problems. Why the fuck are you cooking his dinner?

Reply: He shouted at you? This is abusive behaviour. You don't have to put up with this, you need to really think about how to proceed. Has he shouted before? This isn't normal.

Reply: Well actually, you weren't too pleasant to him. Perhaps you should look at YOUR behaviour.

Reply (to above poster): Great support there, this woman lives with an emotional abuser. Don't speak if you haven't got anything constructive to say. Don't listen to that poster OP.

Etc, etc....

I know that a lot of people in seriously abusive or violent situations have been helped in this section, and that that is an extremely good thing, before you point that out to me.

But some of the replies on other threads!!! Madness.

Lol at
The 10p

Winner! ding ding ding

Equestrian is 10p down, well done.

There was a thread recently from someone who was pissed off about their husband doing loads of housework and not letting her cook.

I saw it, read it, skipped it. Not sure how it panned out though.

YABU.

There are lots of people who post there who need advice and get it. Despite the amount of trolls I have seen in that section there are still lots of posters who pour their hearts out to try and help.

Piston heads is >>> that way OP

Because, naturally, only men would hold my view

I post on that board and I have never seen a thread like the one you are talking about in your OP. If there was such a thread I'd be the one telling the OP she is being the arsehole.

why is it disrespectful to link to some of the many such imaginary threads, or even just three or four examples would do, yet this vague and pointless thread of tedious wank about that whole section IS somehow respectful?

A thread from not so long ago which stands out in my memory was one where some poor woman was being treated like shit by her fuckwit of a husband and someone was telling her to buy nice pants and make cutesy little tartlets for a suprise picnic in front of the fire for when he got home from work......

Would that suggestion have come from you OP? Sounds like the sort of thing you might go in for.

I agree with artex - it's the horrible behaviour of some partners that is the frightening thing about Relationships.

I also think the OP is a man. Particularly unpleasant man at that.

Bucharest...that is a perfect example of the assumptions people make on the relationships board with virtually nothing to go on.

I think OP has had a bad day and has nobody to vent it on so has decided to come here for an argument.

Anyway, I've had a shite day and came to MN for some light-relief.

Hiding thread.

Enjoy yourself OP, hope you get the rush of happiness you need from winding everyone up.

Eh?

Relationships: have you had one?

And yet another example from Northernlurker - if someone isn't saying anything 'supportive' enough, then they're male.

I am categorically not male, but, you know, assume away. It really does say a lot about your opinions of men TBH.

Which also sort of backs up what I'm saying.

*aaaaaaaaargh' - I think we have plenty to go on with your OP actually. If it looks like a woman hating prat and talks like a woman hating prat then it most probably IS a woman hating prat.

Equestrian I'll send you your 10p when you send me a stamp for the envelope

OP You're BVU and sexist...

"Piston heads is >>> that way OP

Because, naturally, only men would hold my view"

Artex... That's offensive too, of course it is. I just dislike the term 'handmaiden' very much and think it's applied very liberally where it isn't applicable; the example given by Bucharest does illustrate it perfectly though.

You DO get the odd one where there is purely a lack of communication, but there are sady too many where the OP is so ground down she can't see the wood for the trees. I think the advice on those helps many more women than just the OP....

How dare you OP.

Just how dare you?

There is no point saying anything else to someone like you.

This is never going to get anywhere in AIBU, is it?

And whereas I agree with some of your sentiment, OP, your exaggeration has given people an target to argue with rather than look seriously at what does sometimes happen in Relationships.

I have seen women in emotional shock and difficult situations harangued and shouted at to take a particular course of action.

People use their own bitter, and invaluable experience from which to advise posters, but there are some things worth considering:
It is very rare that someone does something just because they have been told to do it by someone else.
People come to decisions in their own time and when they have found the strength to act - urging them cannot help. Listening and asking questions through which they can come to their own conclusion can help.

There is loads of great advice, kindness and support to be found in relationships - but the 'listen to what I say, do it now, you haven't done it yet and therefore you are now complicit in abusing your kids' impatience does soometimes take hold quite quickly. Women's Aid don't operate like that!

Hear hear artex

A lot of people put up with far, far, far too much from their partners.

Threads often start off as seemingly "normal" stuff, but there's much, much more, often revealed when a poster asks questions or suggests that the partner is controlling, cheating, a drunk, abusive or whatever.

What upsets me are the OPs in terrible situations who stop posting. Sometimes worry that a string of posters telling them to leave - once a thread goes that way - and taking a tough line with the OP - may take away an outlet for people who aren't ready (or will never be ready) to hear that. But that doesn't mean the posters saying "run for the hills" are wrong.

If somebody called me a "handmaiden" I would simply laugh

because I know it's not true