To wonder why quality of men is SO dire?

[janelikesjam]

I am genuinely puzzled. Am in my late 40s and would like a new relationship but what I see on offer (admittedly on dating sites) is so dire I am wondering whether I should give up.

The men seem largely unnattractive with few interests except the most conventional, and often boastful, weird and/or slimy to boot! (I would like to get out more to meet people in a more natural way, but am very restricted by my circumstances, so this not really an option, sadly.)

Anyway, any thoughts on this? Is it just my limited circumstances that is cutting me off from meeting interesting, attractive, available men that really do exist in the real world?

Or is it them? Did something happen to all these men along the way? Are they "ground down" in some way? Do men over the age of 25 not feel the need to bother with their appearance? Do men get more boring as they get older, and women the opposite way round?? Are the good ones simply taken, and those that remain are the ones with major problems?

Generally speaking, I don't remember men being so unappealing when I was younger, perhaps I was blinded by hormones (quite likely).

Is it me? It can't be, lol.

Any insights appreciated.

J.

Men don't always want younger you know. I recently had a fling with a 22 year old. I am 33. He was georgeous and lovely and he thought I was georgeous and lovely. He told me one of the reasons why he liked me was because I am older than him!
I wouldn't want him to date a woman with a child like me seriously though- I'd be encouraging him to get out there and have fun (coming over all maternal is a downside of such age gaps!)

I dated a few men from lonely hearts ads about 14 years ago - before Internet dating obviously. I met one man who arranged a meet up in Mcdonalds in Victoria Station and actually complained about how he had been contacted by a black woman and how he would never consider dating a black woman......the second man spent our date banging on about his 19 year old Lithuanian ex girlfriend.....the third was a quite nice Irishman who clearly didn't fancy me , the fourth was an academic who wrote text books on finance but had no social skills whatsoever and was, sadly, embarrassing to be with. I gave up after that.

I met DH in the old fashioned way - in a bar! We had mutual friends so not dodgy really. Ironically I was completely off men, no interest at all and was quite nasty to him. I only gave him my phone number so he'd piss off and leave me alone....

I agree with the OP that the truly nice men are so often married.

I would rather never have sex again that join an internet dating website. The best way to meet people is either at work or through friends. It doesn't have to be immediate colleagues but people in the same building as you. I work at an airport and quite a few of my colleagues have met their partners at the airport but working in other departments. I would also recommend asking your female friends to put feelers out amongst their DHs friends and families.

Good luck xx