To wonder why quality of men is SO dire?

[janelikesjam]

I am genuinely puzzled. Am in my late 40s and would like a new relationship but what I see on offer (admittedly on dating sites) is so dire I am wondering whether I should give up.

The men seem largely unnattractive with few interests except the most conventional, and often boastful, weird and/or slimy to boot! (I would like to get out more to meet people in a more natural way, but am very restricted by my circumstances, so this not really an option, sadly.)

Anyway, any thoughts on this? Is it just my limited circumstances that is cutting me off from meeting interesting, attractive, available men that really do exist in the real world?

Or is it them? Did something happen to all these men along the way? Are they "ground down" in some way? Do men over the age of 25 not feel the need to bother with their appearance? Do men get more boring as they get older, and women the opposite way round?? Are the good ones simply taken, and those that remain are the ones with major problems?

Generally speaking, I don't remember men being so unappealing when I was younger, perhaps I was blinded by hormones (quite likely).

Is it me? It can't be, lol.

Any insights appreciated.

J.

Well, and maybe she'd like to start with something else "niceguy", like getting her head a bit straighter after all the crap she might have had to deal with growing up, which she is doing by starting counseling tomorrow.

Some people make such a big deal about women's weight and/or appearance it riles me !

My list is very simple:

I must fancy you
You must fancy me

OP my posts were not nasty, or at least not intended to be. Good luck anyway. I hope you find your perfect man.

Garlicky, I think your posts were nasty, probably deliberately aka "the perfect man" jibe. Perhaps you are upset because you married someone ugly and conventional and unconsiously you hate it that anyone should aim higher, or perhaps you see yourself as boring, ugly, conventional and that hurts. See, its not that nice to be nasty, personal, is it?

I have never ever met a man over the age of 40 that I fancy.

Under 40 the odds are about 1 in every 150.

And that 1 in 150 would never fancy me.

And even if they did, they will soon been 40 and I will stop fancying them.
Perfect - I shall stay single and enjoy my life.

I like the way you say it. Its your life, you might as well enjoy it.

A friend of mine just met a lovely bloke after 2 years of Internet dating. Just perfect for each other in all the intangible ways that no-one would ever write down on a form. He's maybe not the best looking of the blokes she dated over the time, but he's certainly the one that's right for her.

Janelikesjam- you have serious issues mrs! And you're paranoid and seem very nasty actually, so perhaps you will struggle to find someone as you also seem bad hearted.

You solicited opinions on here and then got nasty when you heard some you disagreed with.

However I'm afraid I don't care enough about your problem to continue with this but my wishing you luck was genuine.

truth hurts huh?

bit late to this latest man-slapping party....
OP - you really should mix in better company IF this is your diagnosis of menfolk. There's lots of attractive, available chaps out there, just maybe also not looking in the 'right' places.....doesn't deserve your rather unfair and narrow O post.

I'm not hurt Janet, I'm just shaking my head that people like you exist and function. Nasty woman.

OhGod this is why I hate Mumsnet Panfried and Garlic contributions etc. I wasn't diagnosing anyone, I am genuinely puzzled as to why there are so few men on the internet of my age I find attractive. Why make me the culprit? I have already explained the limitations of my circumstances, but naturally you aren't receiving that. Mix in better company, for sure, but I wouldn't like to be around such nasty, unsympathetic people as you and Garlicky ...

Garlicky, yeah take your own medicine, think before you attack someone next time.

oh the irony - a thread about the 'quality' of men, and it dissolves into a petty, name-calling dispute. Quality.

Like I said, both your vindictive contributions unwelcome, can't you find another thread..... You have nothing interesting or personal to say.

I'm fine noting your judgeyness, jane.

as you were.

Can't you go both away so I can hear the other interesting contributions, oh well if not, I have some better things to do, thank God.

Mumsnet threads always seem to end up with idiots taking the stage.

But thanks to all the other amazing contributors though.

X

jane - am not being vindicative at all. Am finding your OP very insulting. Your limiting circumstances are not reason enough to castigate men as being dire, as you do in your title.

Jane - just as in RL / with a challenging toddler - ignore, ignore, ignore. Concentrate on those who contribute without vitriol.

Panfried - whatever. Read the OP, and try not to think that it's aimed at you. IM(received)E, men on dating sites are quite dire. I've had a few dates etc here and there, and the word is that there really is an awful lot of dross, even on the paid sites. There could be many reasons for that, and some have been discussed.

Pink - I don't think it's aimed at me at all, sorry.

I consider myself a munter despite my exes describing me otherwise. Today a woman actually gave me a second glance: usually any second glance I get is

congrats, sex-on-legs Hedley!

yes, on an exceedingly rare occasion I have to look behind me to see who/what it is a woman is actually looking at.....sad, innit.

She must've had really poor taste

Or poor eyesight. Or just too much to drink and you suddenly looked like Yul Brynner.