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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my friend's DH pick her up after work?

199 replies

totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:32

I think he should, she won't ask.

She finishes work at midnight. It's a mile walk home, along a partially lit country-ish road (fields on one side)

He has the car, she doesn't drive.

They have 2 DC's who are 13 and 11.

He doesn't want to leave the DC's in the house alone.

I think he should go and pick her up and not leave her walking home.

MN Jury, AIBU to think this?

OP posts:
Pocksrule · 06/01/2012 20:33

I wouldn't normally want to leave kids alone at night but in this case I think you are right.

PenguinArmy · 06/01/2012 20:34

Is it a regular thing?

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:34

The kids are in bed and asleep btw and it is literally a mile - he could leave here at 11.55 and be back for 12.05

OP posts:
Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:35

4 nights a week penguin

OP posts:
FoxyRevenger · 06/01/2012 20:35

Definitely! Why on earth wouldn't he, apart from laziness?

There's no way my husband would leave me to walk home at night.

Bonsoir · 06/01/2012 20:35

Yes, of course he should. The risk to her walking home alone at midnight is much greater than the risk to the children in bed asleep at home alone for five minutes.

Kayano · 06/01/2012 20:35

Lol that you think this is your business. Why don't you pick her up?

Bonsoir · 06/01/2012 20:36

She should, however, be taking driving lessons!

JustHecate · 06/01/2012 20:36

I think he should too.

11 & 13 are old enough to be left in bed while he goes to pick his wife up.

If he refuses to pick her up, she has the choice to say that she is not willing to walk such a deserted road at that hour and book a taxi home.

redwineformethanks · 06/01/2012 20:36

I'd say it's their business. Hard to know what's best. Wouldn't like to think of her walking home alone or them waking up in the house and realising no one is there.

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:36

In his defence, she started the job when the kids were much younger, and I can see that they wouldn't have wanted to leave the kids alone at a younger age but I think now, at 13 and 11, they should be left for the 10 or 15 minutes it would take.

Well, I'd want my partner to collect me if it was me

OP posts:
ReduceRecycleRegift · 06/01/2012 20:37

taxi?

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:37

Kayano - I realised about 3 weeks ago coming home from a Christmas night out that she was walking home at that time, I didn't know.

And fwiw the nights my kids aren't here and she's been working since then I have gone up and collected her, and either me or BF will do the same tonight.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 06/01/2012 20:37

I can't see any reason at all (unless something is yet to be revealed!) why you couldn't leave a 13 and 11 year old at home for such a short time. Presumably they aren't glued to their parents the rest of the time?

Sounds like a lazy cop-out to me on the part of the OP's husband.

Nagoo · 06/01/2012 20:38

I walk home from work at 2am. It's not so far, but TBH you don't see a soul, and it's unlikely she would either, from what you have said. I don't worry. what is for her 15 mins?

They are her kids, presumably she has made the call that she'd rather her DH stay with them? Does she want him to pick her up, and doesn't want him to get out of bed or whatever, or is it that she has decided her walk home is safer than leaving the Dcs alone.

Hassled · 06/01/2012 20:38

Could she get a bike and cycle it?

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:38

bonsoir - I also gave her a rollicking about the driving lessons Grin

OP posts:
PenguinArmy · 06/01/2012 20:39

If it's a normal (multiple times a week) thing then I wouldn't want my partner to collect me nor would I want to collect him and that's how I would feel without kids. I'd look into cycling to cut the journey down.

Then again I used to walk about a mile home around midnight when pub shift finished a few times a week.

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:39

She could bike it - she doesn't have a bike, and money is the issue as to why she doesn't get a taxi - it would be £3 or £4 and that 4 or 5 nights a week in a minimum wage job is a fair whack of her take home pay

OP posts:
Nagoo · 06/01/2012 20:39

I'm sure there should be some question marks in there Hmm

PenguinArmy · 06/01/2012 20:40

sorry for some reason missed your reply regarding 4 nights a weekBlush

I think YABU.

Gumby · 06/01/2012 20:40

Well if it was me I wouldn't want to stay up that late, I'd be knackered for my Job the next day

Why can't she get a taxi?

Original poster
totallyscunnered · 06/01/2012 20:40

She doesn't like to ask him - she's always walked home. And he's in bed and asleep when she gets in.

OP posts:
jamdonut · 06/01/2012 20:40

13 and 11 is absolutely no problem to leave in my opinion! What on earth does he think is going to happen in 10 minutes to them at that age,at that time of night? There is more risk to his wife walking home alone!

Nagoo · 06/01/2012 20:40

I wouldn't ask my DH to pick me up every night.