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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my bfs other baby mommy

282 replies

Nicc21 · 02/01/2012 23:57

Please does it make me a bad person because i dont want mine and my boyfriends hard earned money to go to a woman that has kids for fun and borderline neglects her children???

OP posts:
Colleger · 02/01/2012 23:58

So you'd prefer his child to starve?

hester · 02/01/2012 23:58

YANBU to wish your dp's ex didn't borderline neglect her children.

But are you asking if YANBU to not want your dp to financially support his children?

lisaro · 02/01/2012 23:58

yes.

Bogeyface · 02/01/2012 23:59

You would be more reasonable if you didnt want your BF to have unprotected sex and then not support the result of that.

As it is, yes YABVVVVVVVVVU, and you should question not only your morality but also your taste in men.

MrsHuxtable · 02/01/2012 23:59

Yabvu.

Also for calling the woman "baby mommy".

pinkyp · 03/01/2012 00:00

Eh?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 03/01/2012 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 03/01/2012 00:02

So he is allowed do have consentual sex with her, make a baby, and then take absolutely no responsibility for the child at all...? Nice... Caring... Hmm

So how would you feel if you separated, and you became the other woman?

Pandemoniaa · 03/01/2012 00:03

It doesn't matter why his "baby mommy" (eww) has her children, if your boyfriend has fathered them then he has to take responsibility for supporting them.

suburbophobe · 03/01/2012 00:04

Mrs Huxtable, that's a common term in other cultures.

On the other side of the spectrum, people use the term "sperm donor".

Original poster
Nicc21 · 03/01/2012 00:05

We have his son everyweekend from fri night to sun night and my bf has always provided nappies clothing etc but four years along the line she demands over 200 pound a month, i work part time evenings and weekends and my partner works full time. he comes home from work and i leave. I just dont see why its fair that we work are back sides off to get by while she can kids for the money. We both support her in other ways

OP posts:
RoughShooting · 03/01/2012 00:05

Did your boyfriend have 'kids for fun' too, or was it just her?

Colleger · 03/01/2012 00:07

She gets less than £50 a week? I bet his child is really living it up on that!

suburbophobe · 03/01/2012 00:07

Nicc, I suggest if you are in a relationship with a man who has children, you accept the complete package.

We single mums would be the same. Love me, love my child.

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 03/01/2012 00:08

Well the go through the CSA. They will decide what is 'fair'!

Colleger · 03/01/2012 00:09

And it will be more than £50 a week!

Original poster
Nicc21 · 03/01/2012 00:09

They slept together she got pregnant he supported her then meet me a year and we were together for two and a half years before we had our daughter, since then shes had another 3 kids by three different men?

OP posts:
tethersend · 03/01/2012 00:11

If you think the child is being neglected, call social services.

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 03/01/2012 00:12

FFS! Where is your human decency. Your BF, his baby. You dont have to take responsibility, but he does. If the mother is 'neglectful', then he needs support from his father all the more. Not just financial, but emotional. I bet he feels really wanted with you around!

Rindercella · 03/01/2012 00:12

Ach. She's probably just doing it for the money Hmm

Original poster
Nicc21 · 03/01/2012 00:12

I have accepted him ive known him since he was a year old i treat him like i treat my own daughter. I just feel like its acceptable for her to do what she does where as i have to work all hours i can just so i can give my daughter a better life than i had

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 03/01/2012 00:12

Look, regardless of how the child came about and how many other children she has, the fact remains that your DP has a child that he has a responsibility to. That child eats and wears clothes and needs a roof over his head on the days he isnt with you and that is your partners joint responsibilty.

If you dont like it then find yourself a man with no kids, because that is how it is and either you suck it up or leave.

End of.

yellowraincoat · 03/01/2012 00:13

It's not really your business who she has kids with, is it?

His kid, he supports it. If he didn't like that idea, he shouldn't have got her pregnant.

Colleger · 03/01/2012 00:13

And what has that to do with your partner looking after his own kid. Frankly you should be ashamed at yourselves fro not providing more than nappies and clothing.

Pandemoniaa · 03/01/2012 00:13

I'd be much more bothered about getting involved with a man who wasn't prepared to pay any child support. It would suggest that they were an uncaring shit. Is that the sort of boyfriend you would prefer? Only I'm afraid you can't expect to reinvent history and write out all references to his children just because it doesn't suit you for him to support them.